Rules for Mall Shoppers

[DesignFox]

Saw some great lists on here. Haven't noted one for mall SC's though. Thought it might be fun, seeing as I work in the hell that is the Mall during the Holidays. (compiled from multiple job experiences- largely from Photography Hell)

1) I am not a walking directory. Don't bother me when I am on my break!

2) No there isn't anyone else to work the register. Stop complaining. We are it, we are working hard, you will have to wait- just like everyone else.

3) I know parking sucks. Leave your house early, get to your appointment on time; it's not my fault we skipped you because you were 30+ mins late.

4) Employees do not enjoy scavenger hunts. Put the merchandise back where you got it from, not wherever you feel like dropping/hiding it.

5) When the gate is coming down, it means we are closed! Don't run under the gate so you can, "Just make it!"

6) Just because I serve you, it doesn't mean you are better than I am. Get over yourself.

7) Let me do my job; it's what they pay me for. If you think you can do it better- do it yourself; leave me alone.

8) I don't mail out the coupons. Don't complain to me that you didn't get one. I can't do anything about it!

9) For a limited time only/when supplies last means just that.

10) Yes, we run out of things. It's the holidays. If you want it, get it early. Don't complain to me on December 24th at 9:00 pm that we don't have something. Lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part! (I need a shirt that says that)

Bah, my brain hurts. Holiday hell has just begun! At least my current job is wonderful so I'm having more fun this time around than last time...
Any other Mall employees out there?!

[Kika]

11) Yes, the lines sure are long. This is why I'm standing here giving you an update on your wait time. No, I'm not "getting a kick out of this." Believe me, your misery is mine.

12) We don't gift wrap for you. We don't have time. Go away. There's someone in the mall gift wrapping. Bother them. ETA: Also, don't wrap your gifts on the cashwrap. You're in my way. Leave.

13) It's the weekend/Black Friday/Christmas Eve Don't call me looking for a product. I don't have time to go look for it. No one does. If you want it so bad, come in - I might even help you find it then.

14) If we say something is $35 with a $25 purchase, then you MUST make a $25 purchase first. Don't yell at me when it rings up at $80, because that's the only thing you bought.

[dragonflygrrl]

15) If you have a coupon that says "Free accessory with new activation," that means you can have a free accessory, if you activate a new line. It does not mean you can just bring the coupon buy and "pick up your free accessory," no matter what you call me or what you tell my boss I said.

16) If I tell you that you aren't eligible for an upgrade, you aren't eligible for an upgrade. I make commissions to do upgrades, why would I lie? And no, I wouldn't lie just to ruin your teenager's Christmas.

17) The store doesn't magically open the second I go in the front door. Just because you see me doesn't mean I have to let you in and help you; we are not playing hide and seek. There's a reason I lock it behind me, and that is specifically to keep customers out until the store actually is open. Until I unlock the door, we are in fact still closed. I have things to do that don't involve you until that moment. So stop. Rattling. The freaking. Door.

18) We aren't friends. You may be a perfectly nice person, but that doesn't mean I have to answer personal questions, or be expected to take in interest in your personal life. Buy your phone and call your real friends for that.

19) If you see others waiting behind you, don't ask me to do things you can easily do yourself after I've already spent an eternity helping you. Also, don't get huffy when I tell you you can do that yourself online or through Customer Service. My choices were make you huffy or risk a mass uprising from the line of customers behind you. No contest.

[Imogene]

20) No, I don't think Gamestop would send you twenty feet down the mall to pick up a video game, seeing as, huh, they Sell video games, whereas we sell but lowly movies, as per our sign. I particularly don't believe Gamestop told you to come to our store to get a game they are still doing reservations for. Even if I did sell video games, and I don't, I'll likely just do the same to you. "Would you like to reserve a copy of Twilight Princess/Halo 3/Pokemon 5000?"

21) If I ask you if you want to reserve a movie you asked me for a release date on, call me crazy, but maybe, just maybe, I know: how many we'll be getting in the store, how absolutely awesome the movie was, and (biggest one here) How many other people want a copy of that movie! I'm offering to reserve a copy for you so you know you'll be guaranteed a copy on release date!

[Gurndigarn]

22) Yes, the traffic sucks. You might want to try avoiding the weekends. And finish you shopping before the 20th.

23) And the day after Christmas. We'll take items back for several weeks; stack everything you want to return and wait a few days. Please, you don't need to be in the mall at 6:00 AM the next day. Really.

24) And even though I don't care about how you screw up your life personally, consider this: your life will be a lot more stress-free if you don't go up to your eyebrows in debt for Christmas presents. Your kids will not die if they don't get the two-hundred-buck piece of plastic/silicon/whatever the advertisers were pushing. Really.

[MystyGlyttyr]

25. It is November 11 and I have already bought over half of my family's Christmas presents. When I get paid again on the 23rd, I will probably buy the rest. If I can buy one or two presents at a time over the course of four to five weeks to avoid falling into financial ruin, so can you.

26. If you are like me and will be done with your shopping early, for God's sakes, SAVE THE RECEIPTS and have a back-up gift idea just in case someone in your family winds up buying themself what you bought for them. It's happened before, it could happen again.

26a. If you bought something on sale and then your relative buys it as well, don't bitch if you can't take it back. Find someone else who might like it, keep it yourself, or *gasp* donate it!

[shelly2jn]

27. No we are not open on Christmas day....why not? Take a look lady...I'm a person, I have children and a husband.. I want to spend Christmas with them and I really don't care if you forget something as far as I'm concerned if you don't have it by close of business on Christmas eve then tough

[MamaMootz]

28) The Toy Store is NOT a daycare/childcare center or babysitting service for you to use while you shop "somewhere else".

[abbynormal]

29) Be at the AIRPORT 2 hours before departure. Not in the AIRPORT PARKING LOT.

30) No amount of pleading, begging, whining or demands to see my supervisor, will you get you on that plane. If the door is closed- the door is closed.

31) I'm a compassionate person, I understand people have reason why they fly. On that note, do not play on this and tell me your mom just died. If this is true, I would have been on time and on the first plane out. I find it hard to believe people when they were just laughing and joking a few minutes prior. In all the time I've worked here, I believed one person who has told me this horrendous lie.

That's all I can think...there will be more I'm sure!

[Gurndigarn]

29) Be at the AIRPORT 2 hours before departure. Not in the AIRPORT PARKING LOT.

Especially if you're on an international flight. That includes US--Canada flights. So if, for example, you didn't realize you needed a birth certificate or other ID to get on the flight and your home is 445 minutes away, you can still get on board your non-refundable flight.

Just as a random example. Had nothing to do wih me, personally. Honest.

I still made it, though.

[Reyneth]

Don't complain that we charge $1.99 per photo to scan your pictures to make duplicates. More than half the time we discount that by 50% or more! But not if you start out nasty. If the photos were so important to you in the first place, you can spend the time looking for the negatives or the digital file so it will cost you MUCH less to get your new photos made - and *gasp* at better quality, too!

If you want a custom crop around this guy in your old 3x3 photo to become a 4x4, with headspace and the bottom at the cuff of his sleeve, yes it WILL include the lady standing next to him or he will be horribly off-centered. Why can't you understand what a SQUARE means?

When I am CUSTOM designing a photo greeting card for you, we have the ideas worked out but you don't have the cd that the photo is on and it is made known to you that I NEED the cd with the original file before I can complete the project......why did you call to bitch that you haven't been emailed a proof yet and you're still waiting when I called you the day before to remind you to bring in your photo so I could finish the design? (wow, that was one run-on sentence!) It shouldn't take you a week to bring in this CD, as I know you live right around the corner and heck, you were even in the store yesterday upset you haven't seen a proof yet.

A proof of what, lady? Yes, I've done some work and set something provisional up, but it's going to be nowhere near finished until you can bring me oh, the most important part of the whole bloody thing!

[Pagan]

27a. DO NOT get mad because we are closing early on Christmas Eve. How did this sneek up on you, do you not own a calendar?

From my days of mall hell -

32. If the coupon is for Foley's Red Apple Sale (which is now Macy's), DO NOT get mad that we won't accept it at Dillard's! We're in the same mall, this does not mean that we are the same company.

33. No, I don't know what, exactly, Penny's, Sears, etc. carries or what their policies are. I don't work for them! Why don't you walk your lazy ass down there and find out.

[Cvstos]

#4 is the best, really. That's a huge problem at my store (video game store). No, a used Xbox game does NOT belong in the new PSP games' section. Morons.

[Tito]

Lack of planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part!

That's great! You should make that your signature.

27. No we are not open on Christmas day....why not? Take a look lady...I'm a person, I have children and a husband.. I want to spend Christmas with them and I really don't care if you forget something as far as I'm concerned if you don't have it by close of business on Christmas eve then tough

Amen to that one! I will never forget my final Christmas Eve in retail hell, people calling up asking what our hours were on Christmas. Um, hello, WE'RE CLOSED!!!! Just because you have no life does not mean that I don't! (My fantasy reply to that question).

[DesignFox]

Thought of some more...

34) Yes, we are open on New Year's Day. Please stop reminding me about how much this sucks.

35) Do not interrupt me when I am with another guest. Especially when pretending that I am the mall directory (see rule#1), and so you aren't really shopping in my store anyway. Besides, didn't your mommy teach you to wait your turn?

36) The more of a rush you are in, is proportional to how slowly I will ring your sale.

37) Don't be rude to the girl who knows all the sales/special deals. Chances are if you are nasty to me, I will find the most expensive way to have you make your purchase (I actually did this to someone at the photography place).

38) Saying, "Wow, they really don't pay you enough, do they?" doesn't get me a raise, and really isn't funny after the 100th time I've heard it. It's retail. Of course, they don't pay me "enough"...at least, not to put up with your dumb ass.

I didn't sleep well. I was very cranky yesterday. can we tell?