Stupid Questions, Take 576.

[Jester]

Yes, we all get stupid questions at work. Really stupid questions. But even with our jaded ice-cold lumps of coal for hearts experience, we are occasionally surprised by some of the questions that come out of the mouths of our pests customers.

Today, a couple walked in. I will admit that English was not their first language, but that does not excuse the stupidity of their very first question.

"Do you serve drinks?"

Now, you have to understand. I was at the main bar. Which looks disturbingly like, well, a bar. You know, long wooden thing with stools going around a middle island with booze bottles and beer taps. And people sitting in stools around the long wooden thing that resembled a bar drinking, well, drinks.

And even if they didn't think that THAT looked like a watering hole, there were tables and chairs set up in the dining room with place settings making it obvious we served food. And hence, drinks.

"But Jester, maybe they were asking if you served ALCOHOLIC drinks."

To that query, I have two responses. One, see the above paragraph describing the beer taps, bottles of booze, and people sitting around drinking cocktails. Two, what they ended up ordering was a COKE and a COFFEE.

This was not as entertaining to me as the guy who, after having paid me and tipped me generously, later called me a dick while he was tipping me ten dollars MORE for no apparent reason. It was unquestionably, however, the stupidest question of the day.

Anyone else get a new doozie recently?

[JustaCashier]

This was not as entertaining to me as the guy who, after having paid me and tipped me generously, later called me a dick while he was tipping me ten dollars MORE for no apparent reason.

Gee, just think of how much he would've tipped you, if he didn't think you were a dick!

Mike

[Jester]

I know exactly how much that is, as he had, when he thought I rocked, tipped me over 20% on his bill when he paid. He called me a dick later when I went over to the table of four women he was harrassing drunkenly trying to pick up on and suggested it might be a good time to let the ladies eat, as it was difficult to eat and talk at the same time. I did so at the server's request, as the girls were looking at her with that "Help me!" look in their eyes.

So he left them alone, walked over to the bar, said, "Jester, you're a dick!" as he peeled off another ten bucks, tossed it on the bar, and left.

Personally, I think he'll be back in tomorrow to THANK ME. Yes, I am serious.

[LillFilly]

Hmm, I had a person ask me where a store was. So I pointed it out to her...we were standing next to it.

There are the people who stand at the head of the hallway where there is a 2X3foot hanging sign saying 'Restrooms' and ask me where the restrooms are.

There was the guy who somehow got the SECURITY number and wanted to know, at 3am, what the hours for the game store were, when a game came-out, and how much it cost.

Oh, and the people that let their kids play on the payphones as a form of amusement and get confused when we stop them, as we are getting calls from dispatch about the 911 hang-up calls. Because that's the number EVERY little kid knows...911. And the parents then say
"But I didn't give them money to put in."
And I have to explain to them that by law, the phones have to dial 911 without payment, for emergencies. They still look soooo confused.

And finally, the drivers who nearly run-over people in our clearly-marked yellow-lined crosswalks, and when I ream them out, say "But I didn't SEE them!!"

[aurelemsrealm]

Okay some of the stupid questions we receive at the convenience store....

Do we sell gas? Yes, I've been asked that before, nevermind the gas pumps outside. I could have understood asking about diesel or E-85, but gasoline.

Do we have restrooms? Yes, myself, I certainly could not work a standard eight-hour shift without at least a place to pee. I have seriously thought about telling them, especially the noncustomers that we either have a chamberpot instead, or that we use the landscaping bushes.

Do we sell coffee? Okay, the coffee pots and cappuccino machines are just three feet to my left, and there's a big arrow shaped sign above them which says "COFFEE" as plain as day. The one time the question was legitimately about cans of coffee rather than brewed coffee, I pointed out the aisle, but the customer still had no clue what he wanted even when I stood right in front of the cans of coffee on the grocery shelf and pointed. If you don't know what you want, I can't really help you with that.

[Chazzie]

I was going to save it for my post, but I haven't had enough substantial material to write a big one yet, so I'll contribute it here.

"If you don't put cream in the coffee, does that make it black?"

Um... .... ......

YES?

[Mr Hero]

So no snappy answers to the stupid questions?

[Camry178]

I work at an optical. Wall to wall eyeglasses. Dumbest question: "Do you sell eyeglasses?"

So no snappy answers to the stupid questions?

Sure. I once responded: "No, this is actually a museum for eyeglasses."
They were tourists and the look on their faces was priceless.

[roguesqd]

"Where are your lightbulbs?"

They walked halfway down the 80 ft isle to where I was talking to another customer and asked me that, walking past the 40 or so odd feet of bulbs that take up one full side of the isle, and are VERY brightly lit up by all the flourescent fixture displays on the other side of the isle.

I just looked shocked for a sec, pointed, and said right behind ya

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Had a question regarding binder covers, same size, same shape...

"What's the difference between the black ones and the white ones?"

"... the white ones are white, and the black ones are black."

(Yes, that was my response.)

After she said it, she realized that it was a dumb question and laughed...

[LingualMonkey]

"What's 'past tense' mean?"

Do I win?

[smileyeagle1021]

I've had people ask if we sell rooms...

ooh, better... I had someone ask if we had a shuttle to the airport... they had taken the shuttle to the hotel... yes, they got off the shuttle and asked whether or not we have a shuttle...

and the worst question I got (and some of you remember this post) was when someone asked me if I was gay... because I refused to change the TV from the news to a football game (not stupid... but seriously, they sucked).

[Victoria J]

They might have been asking whether you could order just drinks. I know some places that will only serve drinks with food, or do that at busier times.

Or maybe they were idiots.

Victoria J

[Mr Hero]

I do remember a stupid question I got. I gave a somewhat snappy answer.

SC: What's the difference between your smoking and non-smoking rooms?
Me: You can smoke in the smoking rooms.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

and the worst question I got (and some of you remember this post) was when someone asked me if I was gay... because I refused to change the TV from the news to a football game (not stupid... but seriously, they sucked).

IMO, that question was just way out of left field. What kind of logic does it take to equate watching news=gay? I guess by that token, since I do watch a lot of news (primarily HLN or local stations) I must be gay too. . .

Those blockheads should have known better than to ask something that personal of a stranger to begin with. But then again, what else can you expect from people with that chronic condition known as "Cranial-Rectal Inversion?"

Have a good stiff drink (of your choice) on me.