Stupid Questions, Take 576.

[MiddleofNowhere]

Stupid Questions...

Yesterday, as I was in my shop straightening RAINCOATS, under a sign that said GET YOU RAINWEAR HERE, a customer walked up, look at the sign, looked at me with a RAINCOAT in my hand and asked...

"Do you guys have any raincoats?"

Face. Palm.

I'm not even kidding.

[Yfandes]

We get college students running into the main building 20 minutes after their class should have left on the research boat (sometimes the prof holds it, sometimes he doesnt) going "Where is the boat!?!!!!1!! OMG there was traffic!!!" (this is Los Angeles - there is ALWAYS traffic).

I've taken to just looking up and saying "we keep our boats on the water" and walking away.

Ok, so the boat docks are behind the main building, but wouldnt it make sense to look for a boat on the DOCK near the WATER?

[HawaiianShirts]

My latest...

Co-Worker: Hey, HS. You ever heard of a SlingBox?
Me: Yeah, it sends a TV signal through a home network or onto the internet so you can watch your own TV service anywhere you have a computer and a high-speed internet connection.
Co-Worker: Oh. That's pretty cool.
Me: ...
Co-Worker: Is there something like the SlingBox that would let you do the same thing with the internet?
Me: You mean let you use your home ISP for internet access anywhere?
Co-Worker: Yeah.
Me: No, that's not possible.
Co-Worker: Why not?
Me: ... You can't send internet access through the internet.

[Racket_Man]

OK I've got 2

I currently work for a nationally known pizza chain.

I answer the phone.
ME: Good afternoon thankyou for calling [national pizza chain] [local location]. How can I help you today????
DUMBASS CUSTOMER: DO YOU SELL PIZZAS??????

I had to hit myself over the head with a pizza box to stop the instant headache

the second one was years ago when I worked at a national burger chain (that has since dissappeared, swallowed up by another chain). I know I have told this one before

SC comes up to counter

SC: I would like a cheeseburger hold the cheese please.
CSR: that would be a hamburger sir
SC: NO I would like a cheeseburger hold the cheese
CSR: NO SIR that would be a hamburger SIR


[wash rinse repeat a few times]
(NOTE: the only difference between our hamburger and cheeseburger is a slice of cheese and a different paper wrapper. both have ketchup mustartd and pickle)
MOD comes up to see what the fuss is about. SC repeats order
Mngr: SIR what youare ordering is a hamburger
SC IWANT A CHEESEBURGER HOLD THE CHEESE PLEASE
Manager: OK if that is what you want.

manger goes in back and makes a hamburger and wraps it in a yellow cheese burger wrap. then charges the SC for a cheeseburger.

SC goes away happy

[Mnemjian]

Me: Hello this is [street name] bookstore.
SC: Yeah what street are you on?

Me: Hello this is [street name] bookstore.
SC: Is this [street name] bookstore?

Me: Hello this is [street name] bookstore.
SC: Do you sell books?

[smileyeagle1021]

They might have been asking whether you could order just drinks. I know some places that will only serve drinks with food, or do that at busier times.

Actually, thank you for pointing that out... that would be a legit question. Up until recently, in Utah it was illegal to order liquor without either being a member of a private club or ordering food (you couldn't just walk into a place and say "may I please have a fuzzy naval", you either had to show your membership card first or order food first).

[joe hx]

a costumer on bread stick dipping sauce:
"what's the difference between the cheese sauce and pizza sauce?"

my reply
"one is cheese sause, the other is pizza sauce"

[BookstoreEscapee]

They might have been asking whether you could order just drinks. I know some places that will only serve drinks with food, or do that at busier times.

Heh, in Key West?

IMO, that question was just way out of left field. What kind of logic does it take to equate watching news=gay?

I figure it was the not watching football that makes you gay. So I guess that's me.

Me: Hello this is [street name] bookstore.
SC: Is this [street name] bookstore?

ugh Thank you for calling Barnes & Noble Mytown. This is [my name is not Sally]. How can I help you?

Oh, hi Sally. Is this Barnes & Noble?

More bookstore:

Where's the non-fiction section?

"Well, see over on the right side there, where it says 'Fiction and Literature'? It's everywhere else."

[smileyeagle1021]

What kind of logic does it take to equate watching news=gay?

I figure it was the not watching football that makes you gay. So I guess that's me.

y'all still have no idea just how tempted I was to tell that jackoff that "no sir, I'm not gay because I don't want to watch football or want to watch the news... I'm gay because I'd like to suck your dick"

I like having a job though

[Mark Healey]

In the same bookstore Mnemjian works at:

C: Where is (title) BlabityBlah?
M: blabityblah sounding like it is probably a novel Is it a novel?
C: Yes
M: Points them towards the lit and genre fictions sections and tells them that they are alphabetical by author. Yes, there are people who think they would be alphabetized by title.
C: No, it is non-fiction, where's that?
M: It's the rest of the store. Could you be more specific?
C: Duh.
M: Is it history or math or cooking or paleontology or crafts or computers or pets or a field guide ...
C: It's about this guy...

And that's when I shot him, your honor.


Still at the Bookstore

I'm standing out front self administering some vitamin N.

Person from the street approaches me and asks if there is an internet cafe near by. So far, this seems reasonable, doesn't it? Not when you realize that the building right next to where I'm standing is an internet cafe and their door is literally 3 feet from where I'm standing.

[Jester]

They might have been asking whether you could order just drinks. I know some places that will only serve drinks with food, or do that at busier times.

Or maybe they were idiots.

They got a Coke and a coffee. I'd like to repeat that, even though I said that in the original post. They got a COKE and a COFFEE. After asking me if we served drinks. In an obvious restaurant/bar setting.

I vote for "idiots."

Heh, in Key West?

And BE, with inarguable logic, gets the win!

[BookstoreEscapee]

And BE, with inarguable logic, gets the win!

Woohoo!! What do I get?

[Tireana Dorcha]

I get this practically every weekend and holiday we're open:

[Phone rings, I pick-up]
Me: Facility, this is Tireana.
SC: Are you guys open today?

<.< No, no we're not. I like coming in on days we're closed just so I can answer phones. It's the highlight of my life.

Now, I get it, not everyone is open on the holidays, but upon the phone actually being answered, wouldn't a more apt question be: What are your hours?

[Victoria J]

They got a Coke and a coffee. I'd like to repeat that, even though I said that in the original post. They got a COKE and a COFFEE. After asking me if we served drinks. In an obvious restaurant/bar setting.

I vote for "idiots."

While some places won't serve alcohol to those not eating, as a licensing condition or otherwise, some places I know that primarily sell food won't allow you to take up a table just for drinks at busy times.

Of course (a) that isn't what they asked, and (b) you work somewhere that isn't so heavily concentrated on the food. It's still the nearest to a reasonable question I can get.

They're probably idiots anyway.

Heh, in Key West?

If it's something they see where they are from I figure that would be an ignorant question, not a stupid one.

Victoria J

[Jester]

Woohoo!! What do I get?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Welcome to your hollow victory.

While some places won't serve alcohol to those not eating, as a licensing condition or otherwise, some places I know that primarily sell food won't allow you to take up a table just for drinks at busy times.

I was behind the bar. There was almost no one in the place. We DO allow people to come in just for drinks, though of course in the dining room we would prefer they are ordering food as well. At the bar, as long as you're 21 and not just drinking ice water, you can get whatever you want.

You were right when you said they were "probably just idiots."