dolphin watching

[vacation_rentals_suck]

Guest: yea Dave, I was thinking of booking the dolphin watch tour but I need to know of the dolphins will be out today

Me: I am not really sure

Guest: is there someone that knows?

Me: no ma'am

Guest: ok thank you

She calls back

Guest: Dave, I just talked to you. I need to know of the dolphins will be out today for the dolphin watch tour

Me: we dont know

Guest: ok I will try back and hopefully get someone who knows what they are talking about

She calls and gets my coworker who tells her the same thing

She calls again and gets another coworker who tells her the same thing

She calls again and gets me and she is crying

Guest: Dave, why cant anyone help me? This has been a nightmare of a vacation.....nobody could help us pick a restaurant to eat at last night, and when I finally got a girl who did she recommended a place that was a dump with nasty food and horrible service and your manager washed his hands of it and said I need to take it up with the restaurant. I call here for advice on the dolphin watching tour and you dingbats who live here cant tell me when the dolphins will be out. I am very hurt, Dave. Nobody seems to have time for me. This is horrible. I have never been treated like this before and I will take every opportunity to let everyone know how horrible this experience has been. I cant talk anymore, I am just too upset.....(she cries for a few seconds and then hangs up)

[Hobbs]

So...now you're responsible for forces of nature, like the habits of dolphins? G-dammit, how do these people get control of our capital?!

[Taboo]

...wow, what an idiot.

"Ma'am, we can't tell you when the dolphins will be out, because they are living animals and are not controlled by us. However, if you take a sharp blade and make a few cuts on yourself and then wade into the water, we might be able to find you some sharks...."

[Snowbird]

Man, these people are just... idiots. In this day and age, why on earth would a person rely on another for detailed information that is oh so vital to their happiness on vacation when all they have to do is, oh, I don't know, use GOOGLE?? Oh wait! it's because they'd have to be personally responsible instead of having someone else to blame. omg. I weep for humanity.

Dave, you need a recording preceding you in answering the phone that plays that old country song: "Here's a quarter, call someone who cares."

[PepperElf]

yeesh. i guess she didn't read the fine print that says there is no guarantee the animals will show their faces

or just tell her...
"ma'am, the dolphins called the office and said you're scaring them and they won't come out if you keep talking."

[Hobbs]

Huh, on reading it a second time, however, I'm reminded of the movie adaption of Jurassic Park when the dinosaurs don't appear...

[Automan Empire]

ROFL @ Taboo

I would have responded by chuckling (in as much a with her not at her kind of way I could muster) and saying, "Only the dolphins know that, Maam. They never seem to call me with their itinerary. Here's the number to the dolphin boat place, call and ask if they've been seeing many dolphins this week."

Just saying no gives cartain people little option but to go batshit.

[Yfandes]

Hey we get that with our research vessels sometimes!
PITA teacher of the incredibly speshul gifted students who have high IQ's yet still can't tie their own shoes: And we want to be sure to see the Pacific white-sided dolphins! Can you arrange that?
Me: Uh ma'am? they don't take reservations....

[Mr Hero]

It all makes sense now. VRS talks with God. That explains why SC's expect him to do otherwise impossible things.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Hey we get that with our research vessels sometimes!
PITA teacher of the incredibly speshul gifted students who have high IQ's yet still can't tie their own shoes: And we want to be sure to see the Pacific white-sided dolphins! Can you arrange that?
Me: Uh ma'am? they don't take reservations....

Why does this sound vaugely like the Bill Engvall sketch where he takes his wife on a whale watching trip . . . or was it the deer hunting one? Either one was pretty much the same in this respect:

NO they (the whales or the deer, depending on the scenario) didn't call back to set up the time for the meeting . . .

I'm curious as to how VRS seems to draw these morons to him like moths to a flame . . .

[edible_hat]

I'm curious as to how VRS seems to draw these morons to him like moths to a flame . . .

My theory is that when people go on vacation, they forget to bring a brain.

[Buglady]

^^ that. People DON't bring their brains on holiday, I'm convinced of it. In fact, they almost always turn off their brains the moment the idea of a vacation crosses their tiny little minds.

I came to that conclusion about 3 weeks after starting my first job in a touristy area of town... twenty years ago. I've never had any reason to re-evaluate - all the available evidence supports the hypothesis, including (I'll admit) some of my own behaviour while on holiday :hide:

[Ben_Who]

God, yet another story of a clueless tourist who isn't aware that the wilderness isn't a zoo and the animals don't keep appointments.

"Well, Ma'am, I see here that you're booked in for the 7:25 moose, but as you can see it's now 7:28 and that moose has already left. There'll be another moose along at about 8:03, if you want to wait...now will that be a coach or a first-class moose?"

Forget the ones who don't believe that the moose are moose because they don't have antlers. Pro-tip - females never do.

Love, Who?

[Spider Jerusalem]

In my experience, it's not just people on vacation. It's pretty much constant. Or maybe it's just the mouth-breathing rubes in my hometown....

As for the dolphins woman...I can barely believe that someone like her can even get dressed without help.

[Ree]

It's a wonder you guys do any business at all with the sheer number of transactions that seem to go tits up from the outset.