Stupid questions!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

These are all real inquiries I've gotten from customers:

"Do you sell stuff there?"

No, we just put it on display for you to come look at

"Will you take a check that has a name on it other than mine?"

Why yes, we don't give a shit about fraud, come right on down.

"Do you have that game with the guy with the gun on it?"

To which of the 342 games that fit this description are you referring?

"Do you sell bar stools?"

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

"Do you have pong?

You're about 30 years too late

"Can I use my SSN card/Vehicle Insurance Card/Birth certificate/etc as ID for a trade?"

Um no, what part of PHOTO ID do you not get?

"Do you sell Ipods/Iphones/Laptop chargers/Stereos?[/i]

Only games here, that's why we have GAME right in our business name. We aren't Electronics R us

"Do you ticketmaster here?"

Uh no, what in the hell would ever lead you to believe that, we aren't listed anywhere near tickets in the phonebook, we have never sold tickets nor have we ever been affiliated with ticketmaster in any way. (believe it or not I've been asked this by MORE than one customer!)

[tropicsgoddess]

Damn, the wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead......

[Jester]

I've done this before, but some of the stupid tourist questions my friends and I have fielded down here in Touristville, aka Key West.

"How many times a day do they have the Sunset Celebration?"

"Does the sun always set on the same side of the island?"

"Does the water go all the way around the island?"

"Where's the bridge to Cuba?"

We are 90 miles from Cuba. There ain't no bridge.

"How long is the Seven Mile Bridge?"

I used to think that was hilarious, till I met the girl that thought the Seven Mile Bridge wasn't seven miles long, but seven miles high. Yeah, she had a clear future as a trophy wife.

Now this next one is a fair question if you see me out and about and ask it, but it is unbelievably stupid when people ask me it while I am working. And this is one of the most common ones I get:

"So, do you live here?" No, I commute from Phoenix every day. (Yes, that IS the answer I give every single flippin' time!)

(As the tourist points to Sunset Key, which is just a few hundred yards off of Mallory Square, on the west side of Key West) "Is that Cuba?" Yes. It's much further than it appears. If you look closely, you can actually see Fidel waving.

"The streets are kind of narrow here. How do you get the snowplows down them?" Coldest recorded temperature in Key West: 41F.

"What kind of fish can we catch under the island?" No, I really am not making that one up.

(Asked weekly if not daily by passengers to the staff on the Glass Bottom Boat) "Where's the glass bottom?"

(When you are driving down the Keys, many things are listed or referred to as what Mile Marker they are near. For instance, a hotel might be listed as being at Mile Marker 89.) "How far apart are the Mile Markers?"

(Asked when standing in front of the sign that says "Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville.") "Does Jimmy Buffett really own this place?" No, they use his name without permission.

(Asked when standing in front of the sign that says "Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville.") "Where's Margaritaville?"

(Asked when standing on the sidewalk on Duval Street.) "Where's Duval Street?" Darlin', turn around.

(When asked about New Year's Eve, my friend explained that we get about 100,000 people down here every year for that, and most of them congregate on or around Duval Street, our main drag.) "With that many people on one side of it, does the island ever tip?"

"Do you take American money?"

"Wait, we have to be 21 to drink here?" Just like in the rest of the country, yes, genius.

"Isn't everyone in Key West gay?" Yes, and your next in line for indoctrination. Bend over.

(Asked almost daily of me.) "How do we get to the upstairs?" Walk....up....the stairs. Said while looking meaningfully at the staircase that heads (wait for it.....) up.

"Do you guys sell drinks?" To which I slowly turn around, look at BAR, the hundreds of bottles of liquor on the back BAR behind me, the dozen beer taps protruding from the BAR, the ALTAR OF RUM (over 150 varieties and counting!) in the glass case, and the people drinking cocktails around the BAR....then slowly turn back to the questioner and say "No."

"Wait--you mean you live HERE, and you go other places on vacation?" Yes. It's that whole variety thing so many of us humans like. Plus, when you want to get away, the idea is to GET AWAY. Even if you live in a getaway that everyone gets away to, if you want to get away, you have to get away from the getaway.

[HawaiianShirts]

Bar stools in a game store? I think I've met that customer, or at least a relative of theirs. She took two laps around the electronics store I worked for, then stopped to ask me, "Where is your lawn furniture? I can't seem to find it."

"How long is the Seven Mile Bridge?"

I used to think that was hilarious, till I met the girl that thought the Seven Mile Bridge wasn't seven miles long, but seven miles high. Yeah, she had a clear future as a trophy wife.

My first thought was that the question about the length of the bridge was fair. In various places in Idaho, you'll find Nine-Mile Road that's about fifteen miles long and Four-Mile Gulch that's barely over one mile. I wondered if maybe they were nine miles or four miles away from some major landmark or point of measurement, but they're not. I think the person who named them was just a really poor judge of distance.

But the Seven-Mile HIGH Bridge? Freaking hilarious! Kind of dwarfs Denver's claim, doesn't it?

"What kind of fish can we catch under the island?" No, I really am not making that one up.
...
(When asked about New Year's Eve, my friend explained that we get about 100,000 people down here every year for that, and most of them congregate on or around Duval Street, our main drag.) "With that many people on one side of it, does the island ever tip?"

I know some people are just plain dumb, but please don't tell me that there are really that many people who think that islands float on the water! Please!

[Bronzebow]

"Do you guys sell drinks?" To which I slowly turn around, look at BAR, the hundreds of bottles of liquor on the back BAR behind me, the dozen beer taps protruding from the BAR, the ALTAR OF RUM (over 150 varieties and counting!) in the glass case, and the people drinking cocktails around the BAR....then slowly turn back to the questioner and say "No."

Awesome! I can just see the confused looks! My day is now made, thank you.

[TimmyHate]

"Do you guys sell drinks?" To which I slowly turn around, look at BAR, the hundreds of bottles of liquor on the back BAR behind me, the dozen beer taps protruding from the BAR, the ALTAR OF RUM (over 150 varieties and counting!) in the glass case, and the people drinking cocktails around the BAR....then slowly turn back to the questioner and say "No."

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait! The ALTAR OF RUM???? *drools*

[mikoyan29]

I can understand the question about the 7 Mile Bridge. Around here we have mile roads which means they are such and such miles from the center of Detroit. So if there were a 7 mile Bridge, it could mean it's on 7 Mile Road.

Anyways, not a question of me but of a friend:
"Does this Ocean Perch come from Michigan?"

[Lace Neil Singer]

This. Every time I hear that question, I die a little inside. -.-

[Slytovhand]

"Can I use my EFTPOS/ATM card?" when wanting to buy stuff over the phone!

eta: Actually, it's better when they ask if they can pay cash over the phone.....

[crazylegs]

Don't you have to go around in pairs? Usually said to me while I'm on my own, which makes it a self answering question

Can I go down there? Normally asked by drivers when I have a road closure in place, marked with car with flashing lights, cones, signs and me directing traffic

Do you carry a gun? Can you see a gun? Anything vaugly resembling a gun? Anything that could be mistaken for a gun by a blind man? No? Well there's your answer.

What would you do if I hit you? Um, hit you back?

Yer, the last one's a real winner I know...

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I've had the "do you work here?" question asked several times to me recently after I have just come out of the EMPLOYEES ONLY area in the back.

*facepalm*

Also not a stupid question per se, but one guy claimed to have visited all 52 states in his lifetime.



(...there are only 50 states)

[Pagan]

We had a lady the other night asking where <our store brand> was. The pharmacist that was there that night just looked at her and asked, "<Our store brand> what?" Finally figured out what she was looking for but I don't think we ever got her to understand that was the store brand name!

(When you are driving down the Keys, many things are listed or referred to as what Mile Marker they are near. For instance, a hotel might be listed as being at Mile Marker 89.) "How far apart are the Mile Markers?"

That's how the exits are marked on the interstates, too. Amazing how many people can't figure that out....including my grandfather. The southern terminus of I25 is in Las Cruces. The first exit is at Univeristy Ave and marked "Exit 1". The next one is Lohman Ave, marked "Exit 3" since it's at mile marker 3. Well, he thought that they had messed up and it was supposed to be 2.

"Do you take American money?"

You get that, too, huh?

[LadyAndreca]

[QUOTE=Pagan;574959]That's how the exits are marked on the interstates, too. Amazing how many people can't figure that out....including my grandfather. The southern terminus of I25 is in Las Cruces. The first exit is at Univeristy Ave and marked "Exit 1". The next one is Lohman Ave, marked "Exit 3" since it's at mile marker 3. Well, he thought that they had messed up and it was supposed to be 2. [QUOTE]

I admit I thought that once. You know, when I was young and inquisitive and just old enough to be connecting the fact that 'exit 3' shouldn't come after 'exit 1' when we hadn't passed 'exit 2'. That's the day I learned what mile and kilometer markings were (there were both where I lived because that area of Alabama I lived put them in...for the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, I think). It made sense to me once Dad explained it.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Also not a stupid question per se, but one guy claimed to have visited all 52 states in his lifetime.

(...there are only 50 states)

He also visited the states of confusion and denial.

[EricKei]

"Wait--you mean you live HERE, and you go other places on vacation?" Yes. It's that whole variety thing so many of us humans like. Plus, when you want to get away, the idea is to GET AWAY. Even if you live in a getaway that everyone gets away to, if you want to get away, you have to get away from the getaway.

I know that feeling (see location tag)

We have a Margaritaville here, too...It's 3 doors down from one of my favorite clients, in the French Market ^_^ They make damn fine red beans & rice. A petite friend once ordered their "volcano nachos"...She was unaware that this referred to a large plate stacked over a foot high with chips, cheese, and other bits. We actually had o help her eat it. Which, of course, rocked