Convenience Store Rules

[PorkChop]

I've seen some threads about rules for grocers and department stores, so here is one for convenience stores/gas stations. Although I haven't worked at a Circle K with gas, so others here who do sell gas, post your rules here! So here we go!

1. No ID, no Sale! Nuff said.

2. Do not treat me like I am your bitch. There is a strip club next door.

3. If the nacho cheese machine is not working, please tell us. Do not take it apart and try to fix it. We do not feel like cleaning up a sea of nacho cheese.

4. I do not speak "Mumble ese" when speaking to me, talk to me in a clear, concise voice.

5. Please don't play the cigarette game with me. I got a line of people behind you. Just tell what you want, damn it!

6. How the hell does the soda and coffee bar get so dirty? I just cleaned it 2 seconds ago! Do you spill soda on your counter top at home and not bother to attempt to clean up.

7. If you spill all of your 44oz soda all over my counter top at my register area, please help clean up. Or atleast apologize. One dumbass spilled his soda and did not say sorry at all, and I got soda all over my brand new running shoes I just bought that day. I was so pissed!!

8. Say please and thank you! It is called manners!

9. If you have so much money, why don't you buy a brain and use it! God I can't stand it when guys go through their money clips with all their 100s and 50s just to get to their singles. Show offs! Get a bank account.

10. If you have a $2 purchase, please don't use a 100 bill. I see smaller bills in your wallet. Use those! Also, we are not the "Bank of Circle K!"

11. Actually, it doesn't bother me if you put your money on the counter. I do not want to touch your skuzzy, dirty hands anyways.

12. Go ahead and call corporate to complain that I didn't sell you your smokes or liquor. Please do. Then the big guy upstairs will personally come to my store and shake my hand and tell me what a good job I am doing.

13. Stop asking me why the window broke (our window just broke last week). Seriously people, it just broke. It is bloody hot inside the store and cold at night outside. There was probably a small crack and the extremes of temperatures made it broke. I really could make up a good story and have you believe it, but, I have a soda spill to clean up.

14. Please shower everyday! Especially on those Hot Arizona days. Care for some Deo for your bo?

15. Do not expect me to count out your money for you. You look perfectly capable to count it yourself. It is your money, you count it! I had an 8 yr old in the other day who can count better than the adults who come in who use nothing but nickles and pennies to buy cheap beer.

16. No, I will not let you use my phone. We have pay phones outside.

17. If you see me, on my own time at the grocer or in the mall with my husband, leave me alone. I do not want to talk to you.

18. Don't ask me to chip in change if you don't have enough money for your smokes or beer. If you were buying milk for the baby, that would be a different story.

19. If you are loitering outside, I will tell you to leave unless you are waiting for a ride or your car is broke down. If you have no where to hang out, go to the mall. Who wants to hang out at C-Store is beyond me.

20. Don't get all pissy if I ask for ID. If you're younger than me (24) don't get angry. I still get carded for whiskey.

21. Oh yeah, remember rule #1. Folks, if you are young looking and going into a C-Store who doesn't know you're of age to buy age restricted items, always have your ID!

[Jester]

I have said it before, I will say it again.

I am 36. I still occasionally get carded. On such joyous occasions, I very happily whip out my ID, hand it to the clerk/waiter/bartender/bouncer. And after they have looked over said ID, they then hand it back to me, and hand me my six-pack/get my drink from the bartender/make me my drink/let me in the club. And everyone's freakin' happy.

I do not piss and moan about the fact that I am almost 40.*
I do not piss and moan about the fact that I am 15 years past legal.
I do not piss and moan about what a hassle it is.
I do not piss and moan about the white hairs in my goatee. (They've been there since I was 18. Same with my father.)
I do not piss and moan that this is ridiculous.
I do not piss and moan that the laws are ridiculous. Of course they are. We all know they are ridiculous. I know that there is nothing that the clerk/waiter/bartender/bouncer can do about it in the 30 seconds I am spending with them.
I do not piss and moan about my good friendship with the manager/owner of the establishment. If I am good friends with the manager/owner of the establishment, I understand and respect that he/she has trained his/her employers to follow the law so that his/her establishment does not get in trouble with the various authorities that they can get in trouble with for running afoul of these ridiculous laws.

No. What I do do is I hand them my freakin' ID, and they then allow me to do whatever it is I was attempting to do when they carded me.

And if, for some bizarre reason, I do not have my ID on me, you know what I do?
I forego the six-pack/drink/cocktail/club, and move on with my freakin' life. And berate myself for being such a forgetful and absent-minded idiot. And apologize to my friends for inconveniencing them at that time.

*(Okay, I DO piss and moan about being almost 40...but only in my own private thoughts. Not because I am almost 40 and getting carded, mind you. But just because, may the gods help me, when the hell did I get to be almost freakin' 40 years old?!?!?! How could such a thing happen?!?!?!)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

3. If the nacho cheese machine is not working, please tell us. Do not take it apart and try to fix it. We do not feel like cleaning up a sea of nacho cheese.

I take it this actually happened?

[powerboy]

10. If you have a $2 purchase, please don't use a 100 bill. I see smaller bills in your wallet. Use those! Also, we are not the "Bank of Circle K!"

A high schooler done that to me once. He bought a bottle of water for $1.00 and handed me a $100.00.

[chainedbarista]

with #10, i've been telling them that i can't since that would wipe out ALL of my change. don't like it? tough; i'm not creating a situation where i can't cash out customers who have smaller bills because you're too lazy/stupid/thinking impaired to get it changed out where you were handed it in the first place-big bills aren't impressive, just annoying, like those holding them!

[Sofar]

10. If you have a $2 purchase, please don't use a 100 bill. I see smaller bills in your wallet. Use those! Also, we are not the "Bank of Circle K!"

People bring their patronage to The Bank of Hades Burger all the time. At the end of the day there's always four or five hundreds and about a dozen fifties underneath our drawer. We don't have any problem changing them, though, seeing as we don't use our safe, our register has about two thousand dollars in it nearing the end of the night. You know, there is a bank down the street. And another bank in the grocery store across the way.

13. Stop asking me why the window broke (our window just broke last week). Seriously people, it just broke. It is bloody hot inside the store and cold at night outside.

I remember back in Santa Fe our windows would crack all the time, dry air, intense drop in temperature in the evening, intense rise in temperature in the morning. Good thing we had the old-style leaded glass windows, which are very easy to reglaze.

[alphaboi]

A high schooler done that to me once. He bought a bottle of water for $1.00 and handed me a $100.00.

Just tonight a middle-aged guy tried to buy a $1.48 cup of coffee with a $100 bill circa 8:30pm. WTF? Where are people getting all these big bills? Clearly not at the bank since they're tryign to cash them hear. Even the dealers, pimps, and whores we get usually pay in $20s or smaller.

[CrazedClerk]

Most c-stores around here won't take $50s or $100s.

Man #3 is incredibly, I'm still laughing "sea of nacho cheese". Ohhh, my

I feel bad for people who work at c-stores, especially night shifts. You must get all kinds of drunks, stoners, transients and other lovely people to deal with.

[Amethyst Hunter]

I've learned that I do not work at a grocery store, I apparently work at the Bank of Winn-Dixie - we get a LOT of morons who like to flash their Big Bills around for $2 purchases.

And oh the irony, there is an ACTUAL bank RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET. Think I'll go over there tomorrow and get some food...

[Crosshair]

Even the dealers, pimps, and whores we get usually pay in $20s or smaller.

That's because if they try to pay for a $5 fix with a $100 bill they are going to get beaten and robbed. A dealers time is very valuable and he doesn't have time for that kind of crap.

[dragonflygrrl]

It's been a few years since my gas station days, but there are things that still piss me off:

22. Poke holes in the damn burrito wrapper before you put them in the microwave. If you forget and the burrito explodes, don't just walk away. I know it's too much to expect you to clean it yourself, but at least tell me, so I can clean up after you immediately rather than when I'm trying to close up and go home.

23. Unless you are two feet tall, you can reach the urinal. If you somehow manage to miss, clean it up yourself. I was never paid enough to clean up pee.

24. Urinals are not ashtrays. No smoking in the building includes the bathroom.

25. *Really gross* Used feminine hygeine products go in the trash can. They are not to be used to stage a recreation of the Wreck of the Hesperus in the toilet.

26. The full service station is across the road. I will sit here and stare at you until we are both old, but I will not come out and pump your gas. What part of "Self Service" did you not fully comprehend?

27. If I have a line of people, I am unlikely to run over and make coffee, no matter how plaintively you whine that we are out.

28. No, I will not brew fresh coffee even though there is coffee in the pot just because you want to be sure it hasn't set out all day. I make coffee every half hour. End of story.

29. No, I will not go into the ladies' room to get your daughter/mother/girlfriend/hooker. Whatever is taking her so long is none of my concern. I will probably have to clean it up later and that is bad enough.

[Becks]

From the gas station--

--Do not bitch to me about prices. I don't set them. If you don't like it, there are a dozen more up and down this road. Look.

--Do not tell me that you want a certain brand of smokey treats, watch me get them and ring them up, then tell me that you want a different brand instead.

--Prepay after 10 pm means just that. Haul your ass over to the window and give me your $10. It'll still pump the same.

[PorkChop]

I take it this actually happened?

Yes, this really did happen, unfortunely! This woman comes in, and opens up a plate of nachos. I was busy helping other customers so I didn't notice that she was trying to fix the nacho machine. So she opens it up and noticed that the cheese only had just a little less than a half a bag left. So, she felt entitled enough to open the other bag that we keep in the machine and hence "The Sea of Nacho Cheese." There was cheese everywhere! All over the counter, the cabinet doors, and the floor! This cheese is HOT! But, luckily cheese lady was not burned. It took my coworker and I FOREVER to clean up this mess. Cheese lady didn't give two shits that she created this mess and was certainly was not going to help clean up.
Our cheese machine is old and the outer plastic cover is warped. We just need a new machine. If the boss sends in an order for a new machine, it would take months to get it.

Working at a C-Store is pretty amusing. It is pure entertainment and I get paid for watching it. I see some idiots who come in and have lack of manners and it makes me feel better about myself and my family. My family taught me courtesy and manners.
We do have a lot of nice people who come in and they get the same thing everytime. If we see them come, we grab their smokes or liquor before they come in.
Last night I had the nicest, most polite little boy who came in. He said please, thank you, have nice night. Gold Stars for him and his parents!

[Hicksey]

23. Unless you are two feet tall, you can reach the urinal. If you somehow manage to miss, clean it up yourself. I was never paid enough to clean up pee.

It is amazing the things that people do and leave in public urinals/toilets. Being someone who travels for a living you wouldn't believe the things I have seen.

I have seen where someone wrote their name on the wall with their own fecal matter.

I think people purposely urinate on the seat and laugh about it. I was in a rest area once and heard a guy in the stall next to me curse under his breath that he missed, and then actually laugh out loud about it. My wife tells me women are no less guilty of this as she has gotten to the point that she refuses to use public washrooms.

On the $100s & $50s ...

Those idiots that think that throwing down a big bill in a convenience store or gas station improves their social standing just make me laugh. It has been my experience that the people in life that are really important already know it and act accordingly. They don't constantly feel the need to prove it to others. Those that do this are destined to make it into a Jeff Foxworthy joke about what happens when you give money to rednecks.

[friendofjimmyk]

And oh the irony, there is an ACTUAL bank RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET. Think I'll go over there tomorrow and get some food...

That's funny!