The Stupidest argument you have heard from SCs

[KaeZoo]

In Michigan, we have a Bad Axe and a Hell. Of course, there's also the fabled Kalamazoo.

We also have a Branch, a West Branch, and a South Branch. The only funny thing about them is that Branch is on the western side of the state, West Branch is on the eastern side of the state, and South Branch is northeast of West Branch.

And back on topic, the stupidest thing I will hear from customers again this year will be on the day after Christmas, and will be some version of "Why do I have to stand in that line? All I want to do is exchange this".

[Knightmare]

In Michigan, we have a Bad Axe and a Hell. Of course, there's also the fabled Kalamazoo.

We also have a Branch, a West Branch, and a South Branch. The only funny thing about them is that Branch is on the western side of the state, West Branch is on the eastern side of the state, and South Branch is northeast of West Branch.

Ah, damn, you got to it before I did.
And it always amazed me, while living in Kalamazoo, how many people would mispronounce the name. "No, it's sounds just like it's spelled: Kal-uh-muh-zoo."
There was a song back in the day by Glenn Miller and the city has been featured on numerous television shows. If I remember, it was even in Tommy Boy and was the site for an X-Files episode.


My bad. The X-Files episode was Traverse City, about 3 hours north of K'zoo.

[TNT]

Indiana University and California University are both in... Pennsylvania.

The Amish country town names in PA are justly famous, but my favorite town name is still Bala Cynwyd.

Stupidest argument... there are so many candidates... but one is totally unforgettable... it happened during the transition to the new owners. It didn't happen to me, but as luck would have it, I got to listen to a replay. To really appreciate it, imagine a husband in the background spewing a stream of obscenities about "poor customer service" and "incompetent employees." While the whole call is a special kind of stupid, I've highlighted the ultimate in stupid. ( I can't remember the exact details, but the substance is true to the original):

Customer: You stole my email address and gave it someone else.
Tech: Huh?
Customer: I just found out that my email is changing from something (at) smallcable.whatever to something1 (at) bigcable.whatever.
Tech: Apparently someone was already using "something" at the new company, so we changed it to "something1".
Customer: That's my name. And I want it back. People will be sending email to "something" at the new company, thinking they're sending it to me.
Tech: That other person has had it for years. If you got the name, people would be sending email to you, thinking they're sending it to him.
Customer: This is just bizarre. Didn't anybody check to see if people at the new company had the same email names?
Tech: It's assumed that things like can and will happen, especially because we were a small company bought by a huge company.
Customer: But nobody actually checked?
Tech: I don't know.
Customer: I see what you did. You knew the sale wouldn't have been allowed to go through if two people had the same email name. So you just conveniently forgot to check.
Tech: It doesn't work quite that way.
Customer: And how does it work?
Tech: I've explained that.
Customer: The point is still that you stole my email name.

[Lone Wolf]

"But I neeeeeeed it!"

Yeah, like that's going to make the product that we've run out of magically appear.

Working in a call center and with the holidays approaching, I'm hearing this one a LOT lately. People will order things online -- items which are currently really popular. Now if a particular item is out of stock, it usually says so on the website. Unfortunately, there are times when an item will run out just around the same time as a customer orders it and they have no way of knowing so they place their order only to receive a confirmation email a day or two later telling them that they won't receive their order for several weeks, sometime untill after Christmas. While their disappointment is understandable, there's nothing that can be done about it. But they call us up and we apologize and explain the situation to them, but they still don't understand there's not a damn thing we can do about it. "But I need _____ because it's a Christmas present for my kids! Isn't there anyway you can get it to me sooner, at least in time for Christmas?"

I really, really, really HATE when they play the "But it's Christmaasss!" card, making you feel personally responsible, like I'm the new incarnation of the Grinch who stole Christmas and I've just ruined it for their kids.

Another really stupid thing that I hear is when they order something that is available and the website tells them it "Usually ships within 24 hours". Then when they call up to find out why they're not going to receive it for 2-3 weeks, they say "But when I ordered it, it said it ships within 24 hours, so why can't I get it within the next day or two?"

Uh, because that refers to the time it takes to process the order and have it leave one of our warehouses, not when you can expect to have it in your hands, dumbass!

[Jester]

"But I need _____ because it's a Christmas present for my kids! Isn't there anyway you can get it to me sooner, at least in time for Christmas?"

People really are idiots. The solution to this is simple. It isn't perfect, of course, but it works. You order the item, pay for it, and understand it will be there after Christmas. You then wrap up a present box for the giftee, with a note inside saying something to the effect of "Hey! You are getting a PS3 for Christmas! It's been delayed, blah blah blah, but it's on its way." Maybe not great for little kids, but hey, if your kids are that damn important to you, why don't you do a little thinking ahead, genius?

As for the strange place names, Arizona has a few. Bumblebee and Valentine come to mind, as does Table Mesa ("mesa" is Spanish for "table") and my personal favorite, Nowhere. Not to be beat by Zona, the Florida Keys has their very own No Name Key. And of course, in my travels, I found Bliss. No, not the emotion or the state of being, but the town of Bliss, Idaho. Whoever thought that Bliss was easy to find, and that all they had to do was go where the potatos are from?

My favorite road sign of all time I actually saw as a kid. We were driving through Connecticut on our way to Cape Cod and there was a large sign on the freeway that cracked us all up. In large letters it said, "SPEED LIMIT 55." Below that was a picture of a police figure pointing out from the sign at the driver. Below the cop were the classic words, "THIS MEANS YOU!"

[protege]

You have to love Amish country, in Ohio. We were driving around and saw a sign that had Paradise (go left, I think.) on the same sign that had Virginville and Blue Ball (going to the right).

Paradise, Intercourse, Bird-in-Hand, and Blue Ball are in PA. I pass through several of those towns while driving to and from the beach. I've never heard of Virginville though. It wouldn't surprise me if it was in the same general area

Paradise is an interesting place. It's the only town I know of, where you can be on a stopped Strasburg RR train...and get buzzed by an Amtrak train at 79mph. In fact, I caught the nose of the lead F40PH locomotive as it was rushing by. If you've never had the experience, it's unfreakingbelieable. First you hear the horn, and then suddenly it roars past!

Anyhoo, there are some towns in SW PA that have interesting names. "Prosperity" is anything but. It's a nice, clean little town, but there's not much business there. It never really developed like some of the other towns down that way.

[Gurndigarn]

As for the strange place names, Arizona has a few. Bumblebee and Valentine come to mind, as does Table Mesa ("mesa" is Spanish for "table")

Get an englishman to tell you about Torpenhowe Hill.

My favorite road sign of all time I actually saw as a kid.

Passing through Alberta, there's a sign along one of the highways that says "Wood House", with an arrow pointing at a wood house.

[JustaCashier]

Another town we have in Washington State is Toppenish.

It gained some noteriety, (National, if I recall) a few years ago, not for being a funny name, but because of the fact that students were unable to do an internet search for it due to the school's filtering software blocking the search attempts because the town name contains the word "penis".

Mike

[Maevis]

Two of my favorite idiot arguments are from the same lady:

Me: moi
SL: stupid lady
TS: her teenaged son (poor dear)

Me: (as I'm getting ready to ring up her DVD rentals) Oh, I see that you still have a movie checked out. I just wanted to remind you that it's two weeks past due.

SL: I do not!

Me: According to our records, you do. Let me just check and make sure it's not here. (I look for it, it is decidedly not in the store).
Me: It's not here

SL: I never rented that movie! I returned it last week!

(boggles the mind, doesn't it?)

Me: Well, it's not here.

SL: I told you I didn't rent it.

Me: Ma'am you have 6 other people authorized to rent on your account. Is there a possibility that one of them rented the movie?

TS: Mom, we have that movie at home

SL: NO ONE from my house rented that movie!

TS: Mom, the movie is at home on the counter

SL: NO it is NOT!

Me: Well, the best thing I can suggest is that when you go home, please look for it.

SL: I know EVERYTHING that happens in my house!!

TS: Mom, I swear to god we have that movie at home.

SL to Me: ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR!

Me: No, I'm just asking that you look for the movie at home.


She came back about 30 minutes later and slammed it down on the counter, and wanted an initialized receipt that we checked it in because we were a bunch of scammers.

A few weeks pass and another movie is two weeks late. After going around in circles it turns out that she returned it to a completely different rental company on the opposite side of the city. But no way was she going to pay the late fee for it because she "Returned it on time!!"

[Hempress]

I live fairly close to Bird-in-Hand, Intercourse, Blue Ball, and Paradise. At the Strasburg Railroad they have trains that take you there (Paradise). It's actually a very boring town, though. Definately not my idea of paradise.

[MadMike]

I live fairly close to both Bird-in-Hand, Intercourse, Blue Ball, and Paradise. At the Strasburg Railroad they have trains that take you there (Paradise). It's actually a very boring town, though. Definately not my idea of paradise.

Cool! My grandmother lives not far from there.