Oh Zombie Tree, Oh Zombie Tree

[Aethian]

That's right! A great, big, shiny, aluminum Christmas tree, maybe painted pink!

Lucy for the win.

[protege]

Where are you living that pines are producing pollen this time of year? Most pollen production is done late spring/early summer. And this: http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2009/...3671240631341/

It might not have been pollen, but whatever it was, it damn near killed me. It was either pollen or dust.

[Daskinor]

Pine trees are heavy with mold spores. They kick into overdirve once warmed up and indoors. If you look closely at the bark you might even see small blue/green colonies.

[TheSnakeLady]

Mine was even prelit, so no messing with the lights either.

I have a fiber optic one. Putting in different-colored disks results in different patterns of flashy colors on the tree. It's very hypnotic.

[Andara Bledin]

My work has a medium-sized fiber optic tree set up. It's really nifty, and now I want one.

^-.-^

[Cat]

I just decorated my lil tree with a garland made from a Think Geek catalog.

Nerds for the win

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

My work has a medium-sized fiber optic tree set up. It's really nifty, and now I want one.

^-.-^

For some reason, I don't see those kinds of trees anymore. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong stores.

We used to have them at the swamp several years ago. Then one year they stopped showing up and I've never seen them come in again.

[protege]

Speaking of aluminum Christmas trees...my grandmother has one. For years, she'd put the "normal" tree in the living room, and the "metal" one in the basement TV room. Yeah, I know

[DGoddessChardonnay]

And that ladies and gentlemen is why I have a fake tree. I spent $65 ONCE, and my tree lasts FOREVER!

.....Or at least until the hinges fall apart, but whatever. Mine was even prelit, so no messing with the lights either.

I went out to Big Lots a couple of years ago (2007) and bought a pre-lit tree . . . I love it.

Just the right size to fit in that narrow nook between the back of the sofa and the doorway going into the dining room. And I didn't have to deal with the frustration of trying to put strands of lights on without getting tangled up in them, the strand tangling itself up to the point where I simply throw them across the room into a trash can and scream "SCREW THIS ST" (did I ever tell ya'll I have no patience at times?)

I took it down Jan. 2008 to put it away and it didn't want to fit quite right in the box . . . so when I took it back out November 2008 to set it up for Christmas and we decided to leave it up.

So it's been up all year long . . . and still looks good.

[Pagan]

We have an artificial tree mostly so we don't have to vaccuum up needles after the fact, though the flame retardent-ness is a plus.

You mean the needles that you're still vacuuming up on the Fourth?

Saw one at Walmart this week. You could check there too.

The one I work at doesn't have any. Hell, we hardly have any fake trees at all! I don't know what's up with that. The next closest ones are, frankly, a little farther than I feel like driving.

[SG15Z]

My family uses a fake tree. I love it since my parents bought it once and never ad to buy another tree again. And we've had it over 20 years now. Well worth it. Especially since trees are so expensive. Ranging from 40 to 100 dollars depending on the size. Yeah I don't feel like spending that kind of money every year.

[hinakiba777]

My family got our first faux tree when I was 13. You had to place each branch in individually. They were color coated so you knew which ones went where. The trunk was a solid piece of metal with holes in it. I spent a few years complaining that a real tree would be easier, as I was the one who put the branches in place.

When I was grade 11 my we got a better fake tree. This one had the branches attached, and the trunk was broken into sections. So you just placed each trunk section in place, and pushed the branches down into place. It's much easier to assemble, and personally I think it's a much nicer looking tree.

I think it's funny that everyone is talking about how Fake trees last forever, just because my mother announced a moment ago she wants a new Christmas tree. hehe irony

Anyway, When I came home from my first year of University, my parents gave me a little tree for my room. Little green Fiber Optic tree with Holly Berries all over it.

My given name is a huge Christmas time joke for my parents. All of my gifts have those berries on them. And many of a decorations have them too. Because "What's a Christmas without Holly?" It's kind of corny, but I love it.

It is always good to having educational bonding time with the young. If more people did it, maybe we wouldn't have so many SCs.

No... wait... that's too optimistic. It would just mean that the SCs were bonding with their SC-tots and showing them firsthand how to be SCs.

That is going to be in my NIGHTMARES tonight, Evi. Just imagining SCs all around the world sitting around their Zombie trees telling their tykes how to scream at the cashier. *shudders*

I'm going to go get a hot chocolate to calm my nerves.

[BlaqueKatt]

it doesn't HAVE to be pine, fir or spruce. It CAN be any indoor plant or plant-like object or wire object or plastic object that can hold suitable decorations.

My mom once used a ficus, and I made a tree-shaped outline out of garland on my entertainment center doors and scotch taped ornaments to it.....

[LadyAndreca]

A lot of the stores around here are already selling out of Christmas decorations. Target is out of Christmas tree stands, about half their artificial trees, and light timers. Home Depot is out of strings of clear/white tree lights, outdoor green extension cords, and most of their artificial trees. (They're out of green light timers too, but I found a white one in their electrical aisle.) Sears didn't bother ordering anything but a handful of outdoor lit decorations to begin with. I'm told Lowe's is out of Christmas tree stands too, but haven't been there because the other three stores are much more convenient.

Stores are so worried about having too much leftover Christmas clearance that they didn't order enough of things people will actually buy.

As for the real vs artificial debate, Matt and I talked it over and we both like real trees better. We both always had them growing up, and we've yet to find an artificial tree that looks real enough to make us change our minds. Even the most realistic trees we've seen have had really fake-looking branches to fill out the interior.

Edit: Though I do recall, once in college I decorated a potted plant of some type or another with miniature angel ornaments. I did it again with my unkillable plant before we got cats, but I'm too afraid that they'll try to eat the angels now.

[EvilEmpryss]

That is going to be in my NIGHTMARES tonight, Evi. Just imagining SCs all around the world sitting around their Zombie trees telling their tykes how to scream at the cashier. *shudders*

I'm going to go get a hot chocolate to calm my nerves.

Your response inspired me to write "The Sucky Customer Night Before Christmas" (though I think I should rename it "The CSR Night Before Christmas". I didn't realize there was a Literary section on this site, but that's where it now resides.

Enjoy it while you sip that hot coco.