Kids say the darnest things

[sarushippo]

i'm new so heres a little background. i worked for an after school program that taught science to elemantry schools. it was alot of fun but kids can blurt out the strangest things. feel free to add what ever you have heard a kid say.

this school was a religous school (i can remember what exactly) but very heavy on the teachings of God (used capitol to be respectful to those who follow). well in one class i was teaching color and said "no one can see color when the lights are out because you need light to make color" immediatly one child pops up with "God can!!!" the rest of them follow suite and go crazy saying he can do everything and the sort. i had a hard time moving on with the lesson after that....

my co-worker had a child in his class called Goldstar, that was his full first name. his sister was Beautystar...i sooo wanted to meet there parents.

my favorite of all time was when the lesson was on electricity. we got one of those genrators that looks like a big metal ball on a stick. we for one example we would put a small pile of pie tins on top of the ball and turn on the electricity. the pie tins would float off then fall to the ground. to make things fun i would wave a stick as this happened and called it magic so kids could blurt out it was electricity. one boy floored me.....he was all smiles "MAGIC DOESN'T EXIST JUST LIKE GOD!" the problem was i wanted to laugh so hard but i was the only adult there so i had to hold it in and stay in charge.

if i have any more i'll post them but these will forever be in my mind.

[tropicsgoddess]

Kids do say the darndest things! Not to threadjack, but it reminds me of this. My little sis was in kindergarten at the time and her teacher was asking the class what to do if in case there was a fire at home. My sister piped up that our parents wouldn't have to worry because they have a waterbed!

[Bobsentme]

My wife, our 8 year old, and I were out to lunch the other day.
We're laughing and having fun, when my wife made a poke at me.

I reiterated with a silly poke of my own, to which my son responded, "Don't talk about Mom that way!"

I looked at him and smiled, and said "Hey, wait! You didn't stick up for me when I was being picked on!"
To which my son responded...

"Because your not fat!"

Luckily, the shock and horror in my eyes caused my wife to laugh, instead of burst into tears.

[Peppergirl]

I looked at him and smiled, and said "Hey, wait! You didn't stick up for me when I was being picked on!"
To which my son responded...

"Because your not fat!"

Luckily, the shock and horror in my eyes caused my wife to laugh, instead of burst into tears.

OMG!!!

My son did something similar. He was about 6 or 7 at the time, and I joked with him, asking if he wanted to take a bath with me (of course I was kidding). He looked at me crazy and said 'NO!' really emphatically.

I said "Why?" Real innocently.

His response "Because your butt is too big, Mom."



Now, back then I was bigger than I am now, but not fat or huge by any means. But damn, I laughed so hard I cried. My now ex-husband looked horrified. Like you, he was afraid I'd cry, I guess.

[Sarlon]

there is photographic proof that when I was a child I was NOT the sharpest knife in the drawer....

after recieving a pad of really nice coloring paper my immortal words were "I'm gonna use one a day...cause thats called sharing"

[joe hx]

When my little brother was little (6 or 7 I think) he was playing an educational computer game. It displayed a picture, and then showed several other pictures, and he had to choose which of the other pictures rhymed with the first one.

The first image was a ghost. The item that rhymed with it was toast.

He wasn't getting it, so I tried to help him: "Does ghost sound like toast?"

His response? "No, Ghost sounds like OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!"

Another time when he was a little older (say 10) girls seemed to ask him out a lot (why did that never happen to me??).

I asked him one day if any girls had asked him out recently.

He said no.

I asked why.

He replied, "Ran out of girls!!"

[AriRashkae]

My son is 4 years old, and spends almost every weekend with my mother (so I can escap... ) Apparently, a few weeks ago, Mom was having one of those days where nothing goes right, and was looking for something under the table, with my son's "help". My father opens the door, says "While you're down there can you find me this bolt/part/randombitoffarmequipmentjunk," and leaves. Just as she's about to burst into tears, she leans on the Play button on her cell phone, and one of her religious podcasts starts its theme music. My little one looks at her and says, "Grandma! God is calling!"

My favorite is when he decided peeing standing up was a cool thing and ran over to me to proudly announce, "Mommy! I peed on the heater!" (radiator, not electric!)

[Victoria J]

My mother still teases me about the time when I was apparently trying to butter her up for something I wanted. I must have been around 4 years old

I looked up at her and said "Mummy you have a lovely..."

then I thought about it

"moustache"

My mother doesn't normally have a moustache but I guess keeping up with a toddler wasn't leaving much time for looking after herself. Luckily she just found it very funny.

My favourite that I've heard is something I think I've mentioned here before. I have a half-sister who is 23 years younger than me and I was out with her and my father one day. She was probably around 3 - at that age when they can run pretty well but nearly fall over if they stop.

So we're in town when she suddenly rushes forward (she's too young to cross roads but old enough to know to stop so she's allowed to run a little bit ahead) and she's hugely excited shouting "look ! LOOK !" and we can't see what she's so excited about.

She stops by this store front. Her eyes are huge and she's amazed. "Look ! A man shaving a window !

I think she made the window cleaners day. He was just squeegeeing foam of the window

She also pointed at a somewhat unusual building and asked what it was. I explained it was a church (though it doesn't necessarily look like one) and she nodded very wisely and said "So that's where they keep the giraffes". Never did get to the bottom of that.

We also had a terrible time once playing this guessing game a bit like animal vegetable mineral. We're trying to guess a person, and we're told that they are a real person and that they are dead. We did eventually work out she was talking about God. We think she was confused because he's in heaven.

Victoria J

[RedRoseSpiral]

I said something like your boy in the last story. As a child I really didn't like Sunday School or church (still don't >.>) and I really didn't like them when I had to be stuck inside on a beautiful day that also happened to be my birthday. During the lesson I was in before they kicked me out for the day I yelled out, "God isn't really! He's made up like Santa and the Easter Bunny to scare you into being good!"

That was pretty much the last straw for the day. My parents were called and I got to go ride horses at my grandparent's ranch. ^_^

[crashhelmet]

My brother's high school was performing the musical Sweet Charity one year. My brother had a role, so we got the family together to go down and see it one night. There's a scene where Charity is leaving and is trying to say good bye. Her line is something like "Won't anyone say goodbye to me?" The house is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. All of a sudden, my 4 year old niece says "Goodbye" and EVERYONE busts out laughing. Even the actors are breaking character and laughing up on stage.

CH

[Lace Neil Singer]

I said something like your boy in the last story. As a child I really didn't like Sunday School or church (still don't >.>) and I really didn't like them when I had to be stuck inside on a beautiful day that also happened to be my birthday. During the lesson I was in before they kicked me out for the day I yelled out, "God isn't really! He's made up like Santa and the Easter Bunny to scare you into being good!"

That was pretty much the last straw for the day. My parents were called and I got to go ride horses at my grandparent's ranch. ^_^

I always hated Sunday school as a kid, too. My brothers and I got expelled from Sunday school in the end cuz we wouldn't sit still and we wouldn't pay attention.

Pertinent to the subject, there was one occasion when the long suffering Sunday school teacher was asking what you should do with your collection money. My middle brother piped up, "Buy sweets!" XD The teacher replied, "That's very bad and God would be upset if you did that." I then butted in, "So why did he create sweets, then?"

I honestly think that the teacher was glad to see the back of us. XD Out of all of us, my older brother is the only one for who the teaching took.

[Chrismor]

My brother had a good one recently. There was a program on tv, that as part of it, showed the killing and preparing of various farm animals. He was disgusted by this and told me "I'm turning vegetarian!"

I tried to wind him up by telling him there was pork for dinner the next day, at which he tells me:
"You can have the pork. I'll have the shepherds pie (minced beef pie, topped with potato)"

I couldn't bring myself to correct him.

[Flying Grype]

That was pretty much the last straw for the day. My parents were called and I got to go ride horses at my grandparent's ranch. ^_^

Atheism has its rewards.

[BaristaTrav]

I couldn't help but think of Moral Orel.

[Nashida]

I've been student teaching this semester, with three semesters of field study before that. I could totally threadjack with all the things I've heard my kids say (they're all elementary kids, the latest batch being fifth graders).

My mother always likes to remind me of how I was as a kid. Apparently when I was 4 I got into a rather heated argument with my preschool teacher over a sailboat sail. We were supposed to color and design them anyway we wanted, but me being the no-nonsense preschooler I was outright refused to do anything, because "Sails are WHITE!"