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These stories are from a couple of days ago, and all I can say is that I have been well and truely reminded why I hated the bar so much. Ugh.
You are paying extra for NOTHING
Lady walks up to the bar and starts to order food.
SC: Can I have a beef burger...and can I add bacon and cheese?
Me: Sure thing.
SC: But I don't want bacon and cheese...
Me: OK...so just a normal beef burger?
SC: No. A beef burger with bacon and cheese but with no bacon and cheese.
Me: Riiiight...
SC: Another beef burger with bacon and cheese...but with no bacon.
Me: Right, so just a regular cheese burger?
SC: No! You are not listening! A beef burger with bacon and cheese but with no bacon!
Me: OK then. So I've got a beef burger with bacon and cheese but with no bacon and cheese, and then a beef burger with bacon and cheese but with no bacon.
SC: Correct.
I rang it through. She paid £2.50 extra for food she didn't want...
Unattended food
Customer ordered fish and chips. He ate three quarters of the meal, put on his hat and coat, and then he left the pub. I cleared away the leftovers.
Half an hour later, he returned.
SC: Where's my food gone?!?!
Me: Oh, you left, I assumed you were finished.
SC: I was going to the shops! I was going to return!
Me: Did you tell anyone you were coming back?
SC: Why should I have to? I didn't think you would STEEEEEEEEEAAALLL my food!
Me: I'm sorry sir...
SC: Fuck you!
He stormed out.
I really hate you
One of the regular old men came up to the bar. It was the first time I had served him in five months, but I knew his order. He always ordered a pint of lager, and a packet of peanuts. ALWAYS. I should also mention that he is a miserable old bastard. He hangs around outside the pub hours before we open, and does nothing but whine and complain.
Me: Your usual?
SC: Yes please.
I gave him his pint of lager and packet of nuts.
Me: That's £x.xx please.
SC: WHERE IS MY OTHER DRINK?!?
Me: I'm sorry?
SC: That is not my usual! I don't drink alone anymore! I have a lady-friend!
Me: Oh, I'll get that for you...
SC: Sometimes, I don't know why I bother coming in here. You lot just don't have a clue...
How the fuck has that man got a girlfriend? Well, if she is as old as he is, she might be deaf and unable to listen to him whine all the time.
Goldilocks
A customer ordered our gammon meal. It is probably one of the largest items on the menu. You get a gammon steak, fries, vegetables, eggs, and pineapple. So it is served on a large plate.
Old bitch walks up to the bar and batters the plate down.
OB: Excuuuuussse mee! This plate is too large! A lady cannot possibly be expected to eat off this!
Me: I'll bring a smaller plate to your table.
OB: Well you'd better hurry! I don't want this going cold!
I went into the kitchen and grabbed a smaller plate.
Me: There you go.
OB: This plate is too big! I am not a man! Women can't eat off large plates! It is not dignified!
I went back into the kitchen. The only other size plate we had was a side plate, which was only slightly bigger than a saucer.
Me: This is the only other size we have.
OB: This plate is too small! OK, I think I need to speak to the manager over this!
I have never been so glad not to be a manager in my life. I went and grabbed my boss.
Boss told me that the old hag demanded a refund. Was given a very stern no
You are paying extra for NOTHING
Lady walks up to the bar and starts to order food.
SC: Can I have a beef burger...and can I add bacon and cheese?
Me: Sure thing.
SC: But I don't want bacon and cheese...
Me: OK...so just a normal beef burger?
SC: No. A beef burger with bacon and cheese but with no bacon and cheese.
Me: Riiiight...
SC: Another beef burger with bacon and cheese...but with no bacon.
Me: Right, so just a regular cheese burger?
SC: No! You are not listening! A beef burger with bacon and cheese but with no bacon!
Me: OK then. So I've got a beef burger with bacon and cheese but with no bacon and cheese, and then a beef burger with bacon and cheese but with no bacon.
SC: Correct.
I rang it through. She paid £2.50 extra for food she didn't want...
Unattended food
Customer ordered fish and chips. He ate three quarters of the meal, put on his hat and coat, and then he left the pub. I cleared away the leftovers.
Half an hour later, he returned.
SC: Where's my food gone?!?!
Me: Oh, you left, I assumed you were finished.
SC: I was going to the shops! I was going to return!
Me: Did you tell anyone you were coming back?
SC: Why should I have to? I didn't think you would STEEEEEEEEEAAALLL my food!
Me: I'm sorry sir...
SC: Fuck you!
He stormed out.
I really hate you
One of the regular old men came up to the bar. It was the first time I had served him in five months, but I knew his order. He always ordered a pint of lager, and a packet of peanuts. ALWAYS. I should also mention that he is a miserable old bastard. He hangs around outside the pub hours before we open, and does nothing but whine and complain.
Me: Your usual?
SC: Yes please.
I gave him his pint of lager and packet of nuts.
Me: That's £x.xx please.
SC: WHERE IS MY OTHER DRINK?!?
Me: I'm sorry?
SC: That is not my usual! I don't drink alone anymore! I have a lady-friend!
Me: Oh, I'll get that for you...
SC: Sometimes, I don't know why I bother coming in here. You lot just don't have a clue...
How the fuck has that man got a girlfriend? Well, if she is as old as he is, she might be deaf and unable to listen to him whine all the time.
Goldilocks
A customer ordered our gammon meal. It is probably one of the largest items on the menu. You get a gammon steak, fries, vegetables, eggs, and pineapple. So it is served on a large plate.
Old bitch walks up to the bar and batters the plate down.
OB: Excuuuuussse mee! This plate is too large! A lady cannot possibly be expected to eat off this!
Me: I'll bring a smaller plate to your table.
OB: Well you'd better hurry! I don't want this going cold!
I went into the kitchen and grabbed a smaller plate.
Me: There you go.
OB: This plate is too big! I am not a man! Women can't eat off large plates! It is not dignified!
I went back into the kitchen. The only other size plate we had was a side plate, which was only slightly bigger than a saucer.
Me: This is the only other size we have.
OB: This plate is too small! OK, I think I need to speak to the manager over this!
I have never been so glad not to be a manager in my life. I went and grabbed my boss.
Boss told me that the old hag demanded a refund. Was given a very stern no
yeah, how the hag like those apples.
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