Your jealous you aint got no bitchs! (Long, swearing, and annoyence)

[Plaidman]

So, I got a brand new insult that I never heard from a real winner. I just knew he was going to be a fun customer from his attitude.

It started painful enough, man drives up in his car with music pounding so loud that my windows are rattling, and other customers in store are ether praising it, or yelling at me how offensive it is and I need to make him turn it down or I'll get fired.


The man just comes in, cuts in line.

SC: "Give me your phone".
ME: Yeah, no. We don't let people use it anymore. Sorry.
SC: "What the fuck man? Everyone lets me use it!
ME: Thus is why I said the anymore bit.
SC: *Storms out muttering bullshit*

He goes to our payphone, and moments later is screaming and pounding on the phone. A few minutes later he storms back in.

SC: *slams 50 on counter* "4 quarters"
ME: ''Sorry man, i don't really have the change for that right now. If you buy something I might, but it be fives and 1s.
SC: Fine. Pack of Marboro Menthol 100s.
ME: Do you have ID?
SC: Oh man what the fuck are you giving me such a fucking hard time?! I'm 22!
ME: Ok, do you have ID?
SC: I just drove up here! Thats my car!
ME: Awesome! That means your carrying your License!
SC: Oh fuck it. Fine. *goes back, grabs some chips, puts it on counter* These. And four quarters!
ME: *gives him change, including his precous quarters*
SC: What the hell man, dont' you have twenties or tens?!
ME: I told you it would be fives and ones.
SC: Oh for fucks sake you just hate me don't you!
ME: I don't really care bro.

He drives off, and I felt that I'm done with him.

How wrong I was. So very wrong.

He comes back later, grabs a six pack of beer and slams it on counter.

ME: Do you have your ID??
SC: Oh not this bullshit again! What the fuck man! Just sell me the beer!!!
ME: *puts beer on ground next to me* No ID, no beer. Sorry.
SC: Fine. Where are the burritos at.
ME: We moved them, they are now in the new cooler on the far back. *Points towards it*
SC: *steps towards it, but stares at the chip display that took over where the previous cooler for burittos were* There just chips here! Do I have to move the fucking chips to get my buritto!?
ME: NO, Far wall!! Next asile over!

SC: *Finally sees it. Grabs buritto, brings it over, pays for it and goes to heat it up in microwave* He sees a candy display, and grabs a Snickers bar. He turns to look at me where I wave..
SC: Why the fuck are you watching me fag! I'm not going to steal this shit! I got money!
ME: Didn't say anything.
SC: *mutters. kinda sounded like yeah I bet, but he puts candy bar back* He looks at the cappachino. "Hey, man, can I try these?"
ME: Sorry man. No samples.
SC: I just wanna try to see if I like it.
ME: Sorry, NO samples, if you want it, buy it.
SC: Yeah fine. *grabs cup, fills it partially, drinks it. Gets different cappchino, fills it partially, drinks it.
ME: Ok, you need to take your burrito and leave. I just said no samples, and your sampling.
SC: What the FUCK! I just want to TRY IT! I GOT MONEY! Unlike you! *comes over, slams a five dollar bill on counter, walks off*
ME: Do you want your change sir?
SC: YEAH I DO! *comes back, rips change from me* Yeah man. I get your problem. Your so fucking ugly. You aint got no bitches. I got tons of bitchs. You just got your hand or something.

ME: Yeah. No bitchs. I couldn't call a woman that. I, you know, respect them.
SC: Yeah whatever man. Your so fucking ugly. It so sad you can't get no bitches.
ME: Sure.
SC: Yeah. your a fag aint ya!
ME: Nope. Married. (yeah. I lied).
SC: Yeah!? Where is she!?
ME: Well, its midnight. She's sleeping right now.
SC: No man, she aint. She fucking someone right now. She can't stand looking at your ugly ass.
ME: Sure.
SC: I got a fucking car. You aint. Where is it!?
ME: I don't keep it here. Maniacs like you would key it.
SC: Yeah! If your fucking car was here, I Fucking BREAK IT. You fucking ass! I'm going to fuck your wife right now.

SC: *goes to door* Since you have such a fucking sad life, god bless ya. Your sure as hell going need it to live.

[Shroo]

SC: *goes to door* Since you have such a fucking sad life, god bless ya. Your sure as hell going need it to live.

Ow. My brain broke.

[baileysinmycoffee]

Oh. My. Gosh. Hopefully you don't get too many "special" people like that? It makes me glad I work in a call center, I don't have to deal with SC's in person...if someone starts cussing or saying inappropriate things on the phone, we just give them 1 warning and if they don't stop...*click*

[Miss Fatale]

ME: Yeah. No bitchs. I couldn't call a woman that. I, you know, respect them.

My hero!

[Soulstealer]

That brings me back to Psych 101 and the chapter on projection.

[Sapphire Silk]

You're way more tolerant than me. I'd have called the cops on him. What a jerk.

[XCashier]

Yeesh, what a pig. Bet the only "bitches" he's got are Inflatable Ingrid and Palmela Handerson.

[MrsEclipse]

Since you have such a fucking sad life, god bless ya. Your sure as hell going need it to live.

"And the same to you, sir."

[joe hx]

SC: *slams 50 on counter* "4 quarters"

*takes $50, gives 4 quarters*

[bainsidhe]

*sigh* Why are people just so....vile.

And what Joe said.

[DeltaSierra]

I'd have been tempted to ask if his vile attitude was the result of one of his "bitches" springing a leak.

[Food Lady]

*takes $50, gives 4 quarters*

hahahahahaha awesome.

[Thuringwethyl]

Do you have some sort of pheromone that draw these people to you? Yeesh.

[HawaiianShirts]

SC: Yeah whatever man. Your so fucking ugly. It so sad you can't get no bitches.
...
SC: *goes to door* Since you have such a fucking sad life, god bless ya. Your sure as hell going need it to live.

God bless you... with bitches... because... you'll die without them... ?
What messed up church does HE go to!?

*takes $50, gives 4 quarters*

I would have paid to see his reaction to that.

[Soulstealer]

God bless you... with bitches... because... you'll die without them... ?
What messed up church does HE go to!?

Church of the Flamboyant Pimp. It's located on the corner of Third and Main.