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People who have read my Morons in Management thread knew I was dreading this shift, and with good reason. The pubs ice machine broke down, and no one could come out to fix it over the weekend, one of the managers forgot to order change, so that meant the only money we had was literally in the registers, and someone else forgot to do the spirit order, meaning we were low on pretty much everything. We were also very understaffed. Two people called in sick, and a lot of people had booked the weekend off because it's Mother's Day in the UK this weekend.
I've been trying really hard not to be too mean towards the management about this. There is a lot going on at the minute that has made things a little crazy. Lazy Manager is on holiday, New Manager has been packed off and sent to another pub (thank God!) so that only leaves Boss and Even Newer Manager to run the pub. So the two of them have been working their asses off all week and things have simply been forgotten.
It was awful. We had five members of staff on duty, usually on a Saturday we have twelve. The pub was unbelieveably busy. I would estimate we had 40 customers for every member of staff, so the lines were HUGE. It didn't take long for any trace of happiness to be sucked out of me, and I found myself being very snappy and sarcastic towards the customers.
So, here we go!
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SC: Come on pal, I've been waiting ages here!
Me: I will get to you as soon as I can.
SC: This is absolutely ridiculous! I shouldn't have to wait this long just to get a drink! Geez!
I finally get to him.
Me: Right, what can I get you?
SC: Oh...uhhh...ummm...uhhh...do you have a menu? Uhhh....ohh...ummm....ahhh...honey, what do you want?
SC's Wife: What's good to drink here?
Me: *I pass them a menu* I'll come back to you.
SC: But we've been waiting ages! We'll have....uhhhhhh.....ohhhh.....
Me: *sighs*
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A customer continuallly whistled at me to try and get my attention. I ignored him, and the rest of the staff ignored him.
SC: *whistles* Come on! Over here! Serve me! Over here! Over here!
Me: *pretends SC isn't there*
SC: Hey, why are you ignoring me? Don't you know what whistling means?
Me: No I don't! I am not a dog, so when you feel like being polite, I will serve you.
The SC listened! He was very polite after that.
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Unlike this SC.
SC: Oi! Cunt! When is it my turn?
Me:
Never!
I pushed the magic call button under my register to summon the doormen. They escourted him out.
SC: What did I do? This is not fucking on!
Me: Byeeee!!
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SC: I would like a glass of iced water, with a piece of lemon ANNNNNNDDDD lime.
Me: I'm sorry, I'm afraid the ice machine is broken. I can only do it without ice.
SC: I don't understand.
Me: We have no ice for your iced water.
SC: ..........
Me: Sooo...do you still want the drink?
SC: Only if there's ice.
Me: So no then?
SC: No, I still want it, with ice.
Me: But we have no ice.
SC: Well you're just going to have to get me some.
Me: Ok, I'm too busy for this. Next!
SC:
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As if the night wasn't bad enough, we ran out of vodka. The only vodka we had left was the expensive stuff.
SC: I will have a vodka and redbull.
Me: I'm sorry, we've run out of vodka, we only have *expensive brand* left.
SC: Well, you are just going to have to sell that to me at the same price as the cheap stuff.
Me: No.
SC: What did you say?
Me: No. I cannot sell it at that price. It would destroy our stock levels.
SC: I don't give a shit. Stop being so rude.
Me: Being told no isn't rude.
SC:
SC decided to have lager instead.
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Pretty much every customer was yelling at me.
SC: Me next!
SC: Oi! Oi!
SC: DOWN HERE! SERVE ME! DOWN HERE!
SC: HEY! HEY! GET DOWN HERE AND SERVE ME NOW!!!
So yeah, I wasn't very happy.
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Then this guy came along. Got all of his order out of the way no bother. Then it was time to pay.
SC: I don't think I should have to pay! Seeing as you aren't smiling!
Me: I am being yelled at by pretty much everyone I see. Of course I am not smiling.
SC: Well, that doesn't matter. You should be happy in your job no matter what. And I don't see why I should have to pay.
Me: Well, I am just about to call the doormen over. Let's see if they agree with you.
SC: You can't do that to a customer!
Me: You're not a paying customer, so yeah! I can!
SC: Fine! I'll pay, I'll pay! You don't need to be such a dick!
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A really ugly old hag was resting her breasts on the bar, looking at me and winking.
SC: You know, if you served me next I would make it worth your while. *winks*
A co-worker started screaming with laughter. She described the look on my face as "pure terror and disgust"
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I was serving a girl who looked a bit familiar.
SC: Hi customersruinmylife.
Me: Oh...hi?
SC: Remember me? We went to high school together!
I remember who she was. I barely knew her at school, which is why I didn't recognise her.
Me: Oh yeah! Hi, how are you doing?
SC: So, how about a couple of free drinks for an old friend?
Me: I can't give out free drinks I'm afraid.
SC: I knew you were going to say that! I thought you were a dick in school and I can see that you are still a dick now! Fucking dick!
Another one for the doormen.
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SC: Can I have vodka and lemonade?
Me: We have run out of vodka.
The SC literally screamed in terror.
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About half an hour before we closed, the manager started taking off the registers one by one, seeing as it was starting to die down. I begged him to take mine first, which meant all I could do was clean and could quite happily ignore the customers.
SC: Oi! You! Serve me!
He was the only customer waiting.
Me: I don't have a register.
SC: Just serve me you fucking useless cretin!
One of the doormen happened to be standing behind him. He was promptly thrown out.
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Finally, we closed. I can still feel the scars from this shift. My feet are still throbbing from running around for eight hours straight.
I've been trying really hard not to be too mean towards the management about this. There is a lot going on at the minute that has made things a little crazy. Lazy Manager is on holiday, New Manager has been packed off and sent to another pub (thank God!) so that only leaves Boss and Even Newer Manager to run the pub. So the two of them have been working their asses off all week and things have simply been forgotten.
It was awful. We had five members of staff on duty, usually on a Saturday we have twelve. The pub was unbelieveably busy. I would estimate we had 40 customers for every member of staff, so the lines were HUGE. It didn't take long for any trace of happiness to be sucked out of me, and I found myself being very snappy and sarcastic towards the customers.
So, here we go!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SC: Come on pal, I've been waiting ages here!
Me: I will get to you as soon as I can.
SC: This is absolutely ridiculous! I shouldn't have to wait this long just to get a drink! Geez!
I finally get to him.
Me: Right, what can I get you?
SC: Oh...uhhh...ummm...uhhh...do you have a menu? Uhhh....ohh...ummm....ahhh...honey, what do you want?
SC's Wife: What's good to drink here?
Me: *I pass them a menu* I'll come back to you.
SC: But we've been waiting ages! We'll have....uhhhhhh.....ohhhh.....
Me: *sighs*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer continuallly whistled at me to try and get my attention. I ignored him, and the rest of the staff ignored him.
SC: *whistles* Come on! Over here! Serve me! Over here! Over here!
Me: *pretends SC isn't there*
SC: Hey, why are you ignoring me? Don't you know what whistling means?
Me: No I don't! I am not a dog, so when you feel like being polite, I will serve you.
The SC listened! He was very polite after that.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unlike this SC.
SC: Oi! Cunt! When is it my turn?
Me:
Never!I pushed the magic call button under my register to summon the doormen. They escourted him out.
SC: What did I do? This is not fucking on!
Me: Byeeee!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SC: I would like a glass of iced water, with a piece of lemon ANNNNNNDDDD lime.
Me: I'm sorry, I'm afraid the ice machine is broken. I can only do it without ice.
SC: I don't understand.
Me: We have no ice for your iced water.
SC: ..........
Me: Sooo...do you still want the drink?
SC: Only if there's ice.
Me: So no then?
SC: No, I still want it, with ice.
Me: But we have no ice.
SC: Well you're just going to have to get me some.
Me: Ok, I'm too busy for this. Next!
SC:
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As if the night wasn't bad enough, we ran out of vodka. The only vodka we had left was the expensive stuff.
SC: I will have a vodka and redbull.
Me: I'm sorry, we've run out of vodka, we only have *expensive brand* left.
SC: Well, you are just going to have to sell that to me at the same price as the cheap stuff.
Me: No.
SC: What did you say?
Me: No. I cannot sell it at that price. It would destroy our stock levels.
SC: I don't give a shit. Stop being so rude.
Me: Being told no isn't rude.
SC:
SC decided to have lager instead.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pretty much every customer was yelling at me.
SC: Me next!
SC: Oi! Oi!
SC: DOWN HERE! SERVE ME! DOWN HERE!
SC: HEY! HEY! GET DOWN HERE AND SERVE ME NOW!!!
So yeah, I wasn't very happy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then this guy came along. Got all of his order out of the way no bother. Then it was time to pay.
SC: I don't think I should have to pay! Seeing as you aren't smiling!
Me: I am being yelled at by pretty much everyone I see. Of course I am not smiling.
SC: Well, that doesn't matter. You should be happy in your job no matter what. And I don't see why I should have to pay.
Me: Well, I am just about to call the doormen over. Let's see if they agree with you.
SC: You can't do that to a customer!
Me: You're not a paying customer, so yeah! I can!
SC: Fine! I'll pay, I'll pay! You don't need to be such a dick!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A really ugly old hag was resting her breasts on the bar, looking at me and winking.
SC: You know, if you served me next I would make it worth your while. *winks*
A co-worker started screaming with laughter. She described the look on my face as "pure terror and disgust"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was serving a girl who looked a bit familiar.
SC: Hi customersruinmylife.
Me: Oh...hi?
SC: Remember me? We went to high school together!
I remember who she was. I barely knew her at school, which is why I didn't recognise her.
Me: Oh yeah! Hi, how are you doing?
SC: So, how about a couple of free drinks for an old friend?
Me: I can't give out free drinks I'm afraid.
SC: I knew you were going to say that! I thought you were a dick in school and I can see that you are still a dick now! Fucking dick!
Another one for the doormen.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SC: Can I have vodka and lemonade?
Me: We have run out of vodka.
The SC literally screamed in terror.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About half an hour before we closed, the manager started taking off the registers one by one, seeing as it was starting to die down. I begged him to take mine first, which meant all I could do was clean and could quite happily ignore the customers.
SC: Oi! You! Serve me!
He was the only customer waiting.
Me: I don't have a register.
SC: Just serve me you fucking useless cretin!
One of the doormen happened to be standing behind him. He was promptly thrown out.
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Finally, we closed. I can still feel the scars from this shift. My feet are still throbbing from running around for eight hours straight.
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