10 Ways To Earn a Silent DIAF from Me...

[fireheart]

This is more of a general megathread, similar to the "Top 5 ways to speed things up in a pharmacy."

Here's my list-just note that they're not in order of importance.

1. By hitting on me or a coworker. (this happened today...I flagged down my manager to do the exchange, thankfully I didn't have my namebadge)

2. Calling me "brain dead" or "stupid." I'm not psychic.

3. Wanting to split your purchases repeatedly so you can abuse our system. Not. Gonna. Happen. (also a quick way to get yourself banned, or for me to tear off the vouchers)

4. Leaving perishable/fresh foods in magazine racks or the drink fridges (drink fridges aren't set at the same temp as the other cold racks and definitely not the freezers). Even worse if it's fish or cheese.

5. Arguing that we changed the prices while we went to do a price check and it's not the magical price you hoped it would be.

6. Throwing a hissy fit as to why your card doesn't work. (Hint folks: if I say it's insufficient funds, it's INSUFFICIENT FUNDS!)

7. Getting pissy over a bag check when I have sufficient grounds to do so.

8. Telling me that you want "<cigarette brand> Lights/Low-Tar" or "Alpine Menthols". First of all, we haven't sold Light/Low Tar cigarettes since about 2005 or so (legal reasons). Secondly, ALL Alpine cigarettes are Menthol dumbass.

9. Expecting a discount on stuff that's well before use-by-date, well past its use-by date, or in the case of damaged stock that we can't sell for various reasons, expecting a discount regardless because "we'll just throw it out anyway". Of those: 1) unless there's a legitimate reason why, no. 2) health code and hygiene reasons. 3) we actually have a program for those sort of products.

10. Trying to enter the store 5 minutes after close. Double points if you're entering the store while the store manager is conducting a team talk.

[HawaiianShirts]

2. Calling me "brain dead"...

Next time someone suggests that, look down at yourself in horror and gasp, "Brain dead! No! Do I look it?" You may then have to explain that "brain dead" means that your brain is no longer independently capable of any activity and that the only way you would be kept alive (not standing, not talking, not working, just alive, and barely alive at that) would be by advanced life support systems that force your heart and lungs to continue to operate without any instruction from your brain. In other words, you'd be a prime candidate for complete organ donation.

The customer's the stupid one here. People, if you don't know what a term means, don't use it unless you want to make a fool of yourself.

5. Arguing that we changed the prices while we went to do a price check and it's not the magical price you hoped it would be.

An employee surreptitiously changing a price tag when performing a price check for a customer? I can't say that I've had to ask for price checks very often, but I can definitely say that this idea has never entered my mind.

6. Throwing a hissy fit as to why your card doesn't work. (Hint folks: if I say it's insufficient funds, it's INSUFFICIENT FUNDS!)

How can people not understand "insufficient funds." Is the word "insufficient" too big for them? Should I expect banks to eventually change the terminology so it says "you ain't got enough money" instead?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Next time someone suggests that, look down at yourself in horror and gasp, "Brain dead! No! Do I look it?"

I say just drop to the floor and play dead

[ThanosIsKing]

I say just drop to the floor and play dead

Dammit, that's exactly what was going through my mind while reading this!

[Exaspera]

(Brain dead reference)
"Y'know, I DID feel funny when I woke up today!"

"Oh dear! Do I look Pale to you?"

These all being those darned taxicab retorts and all.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

6. Throwing a hissy fit as to why your card doesn't work. (Hint folks: if I say it's insufficient funds, it's INSUFFICIENT FUNDS!)

Now there have been times where a certain retailer had some issues with my card and posted insufficient funds when I know I just reloaded the card (Greendot pre-paid). Unlike many people I try not to be a douche bag about it and calmly and rationally deal with it.

Those are the times I excuse myself, ask the clerk to wait a minute (or if there is a line to void the transaction and hold the stuff aside and I'll re-queue ad wait my turn) and head over to the ATM and get the money that way.

Now, my question. If I were to go through your line, do that and hit the ATM and then purchase everything with cash, would you find it sucky or offensive if I say something to the effect of "Must be your Merchant Services Account or machine, some local companies have the same issue. I knew I had the money on it, next time I'll just bring in cash." in a conversational sort of tone.

[jjllbb]

6. Throwing a hissy fit as to why your card doesn't work. (Hint folks: if I say it's insufficient funds, it's INSUFFICIENT FUNDS!)

Today after a lady's check was declined she told me it was simply outrageous because she had $40,000 in that account and why was I doing this to her?

[bainsidhe]

would you find it sucky or offensive if I say something to the effect of "Must be your Merchant Services Account or machine, some local companies have the same issue. I knew I had the money on it, next time I'll just bring in cash." in a conversational sort of tone.

I think it would depend on your tone. I've had customers get $ out of the ATM right after their card declined. I don't know why that is, but it isn't a conspiracy of the cashier against customers. Really, I swear! These customers were usually pretty calm, and like your example were familiar with it. It's the people who *gasp shock* can't believe they don't have enough money when they swear they have, like thousands in the bank!!!

[Exaspera]

they swear they have, like thousands in the bank!!!

These are the same folks who act all surprised when their cars get repossessed.

[fireheart]

regarding the "it says insufficient funds but it's a reloadable card" thing, my store does not take pre-paid Visa or Mastercard cards. We do not take reloadable ones either and if you have a cash passport you bought in Australia for overseas use, you cannot use them in Australia.
And I've had a few who will get huffy about it. One lady today was nice enough to let me hold while she rang her husband to find out what happened. That one's fine. As long as people are willing to either a) do a balance check at the ATM around the corner, b) let me hold while they talk to their bank or c) split their payments half cash, hard card, it's fine by me. But if you throw a hissy fit, then you earn my silent DIAF.

[Food Lady]

Mongo, the way you deal with it is perfect. If I hold a transaction for a customer, as soon as he/she is done at the cash machine I grab a supervisor or whomever is floating around to ring it right away, or send said customer to the service desk if no customers are there. I try not to make said customer wait in line again, since I appreciate the non-suckiness.

[Treasure]

Ok, i've done something like that - i was buying a few things @ the grocery store, and went to pay, and my deposit hadn't cleared yet for one card.. and i didn't have the other one with me; *crap!* i was doing self check out, and the nice CSM lady came over, asked if i was having an issue... and i realized what it was... she suspended my transaction, and i went home (just around the corner) and got my other card (left it in my jeans from going drinking the night before) and went back to get my items, the only problem was... i now had a higher total (less than a $1, but i was still wtf?) mentioned it, was told, "that's what its ringing up" so i paid and left...









*what does DIAF stand for? I don't know if its a regional thing or i just don't know (b/c i don't use) a lot of shorthand*

[Mikkel]

*what does DIAF stand for? I don't know if its a regional thing or i just don't know (b/c i don't use) a lot of shorthand*

Die In A Fire?

[Treasure]

Ok... thank you... I couldn't come up with anything so I had to ask...

[Andara Bledin]

... would you find it sucky or offensive if I say something to the effect of "Must be your Merchant Services Account or machine, some local companies have the same issue. I knew I had the money on it, next time I'll just bring in cash." ...

I don't know why that is, but it isn't a conspiracy of the cashier against customers. Really, I swear! These customers were usually pretty calm, and like your example were familiar with it.

As the person who rings up the credit card transactions for my company, I'm pretty used to the various reasons why cards with funds available decline when they shouldn't. The most common? The card issuer didn't trust the processing company for whatever reason and denied the transaction.

We get that all the time, and there's nothing we or our processor can do about it. The cardholder just has to call the provider, let them know that it's a legitimate transaction, and then the provider will remove the block and it will go through without a hiccup.

For us, it's due to our processor being internet-based. About 10% of all overseas credit card transactions have to go through this process. It used to be it would just come back as "Declined" with no explanation, but yesterday it actually said that it was refused by the provider. Today, however, it went through without issue, as the cardholder had spoken to the provider so they could pay for their product.

^-.-^