Some Examples Of Why Bartenders Are Not Armed

[KiaKat]

The one we carry is Fattoria Di Felsina Berardenga, from the Chianti Classico region. I'm not sure what the vintage is on it, though I think it's the 2000. Might be the '99.

Wines, especially difficult-to-find wines, tend to be more expensive on the East Coast of the US. Import fees, exchange rates, transportation costs, and the distribution system we have over here all combine to increase our prices by around 300% over the local prices for any given wine. Which is GREAT fun when we have European or Australian tourists who are staying locally and stop in to grab a bottle for the evening.

"What?! What do you mean this wine is $12! I pay 3 Euro for this at home! This is an outrage! A ripoff! How dare you!"

"I'm very sorry ma'am, I don't set the prices. Even if I were to sell to you at cost, you'd still be paying around $9. Would you like a bag for that?"

"I can't believe this place! Rabble rabble rabble bitch moan curse!"

"Again, ma'am, I'm very sorry. Will there be anything else this evening?"

"Yes, can you open this for me? I don't have a corkscrew in the room."

*tries to bite tongue*

[draftermatt]

I especially love the people who say, "Bring me your BEST rum." To which I tell them, "That would be Pyrat Cask 1623, a lovely 40 year blend from the British West Indies island of Anguilla. It's $50 a shot." While this is okay with a small number of people, most people give me the face, then say something along the lines of, "Okay, well bring me your best TEN DOLLAR rum."

I'm reminded of the episode of Golden Girls when Dorothy finally gets a diagnosis (she'd been sick for some time) so she takes the others to a nice restaurant and orders "their finest champagne".

After taking a sip and remarking how good it is Rose points out it had better be good for $500 a bottle (may have been more than that). Cue shock, horror, cursing from Dorothy until Sophia pours salt in her glass, makes the manager drink it, who promptly comps their meal.

[Pagan]

This one? Yeah, that's way beyond a mortal's price range

Yeppers!

(No, I am in no way affiliated with that shop. I do not advise you to buy there, nor do I discourage you to.)

Royal Mile Whiskies is a good one, too. I've been in the shop in Edinburgh and kept thinking, "I want one of those and one of those and one of those...."

Snap! I only had a miniature though, so two wee drams and it's gone.

A miniature is one wee dram for me!

Trinchero Cabernet
Robert Mondavi Fume Blanc
Murphy-Goode Fume Blanc

Ravenswood and Kendall-Jackson are good, dependable wines, too.

[Jester]

"What?! What do you mean this wine is $12! I pay 3 Euro for this at home! This is an outrage! A ripoff! How dare you!"

And you're NOT at home. You're abroad, where your home wine is now an import. Just as our cheaper California wines would no doubt be more expensive in your country.

Hell, I go to Mexico where Mexican beer is very, very cheap. Here, it is an import, so we pay more for it.

This is nothing new under the sun, and anyone who doesn't get it probably has a family of 8 gerbils living in their skull, with plenty of space for block parties.

Sophia pours salt in her glass, makes the manager drink it, who promptly comps their meal.

Wonderful. Yet another example from Hollywood of how to get out of taking personal responsibility for one's actions by being a lying shit sack.

[DemoDiva]

Wonderful. Yet another example from Hollywood of how to get out of taking personal responsibility for one's actions by being a lying shit sack.

I was thinking that exact same thing when I read that. I always hate it when they do that in movies/shows, and the staff are totally floored by it and immediately rush around to try to resolve the issue.

Hello? In real life, the waiter would say, "No, ma'am, I don't want to drink from your glass. It's impossible that it tastes salty, we just uncorked this bottle for you. Ma'am...ma'am..." sigh "Ma'am, I saw you pour the salt in there, and there is no human way I am picking up the tab for a $500 bottle of Champagne because you can't be bothered to read the menu."

[PCGameGuy]

Having seen requests for sweet wine in California, I must put forth my personal favorite. My wife hates all wines, bitter and sour and the terms she uses, so I had to find SOMETHING to use for our wedding party. After wandering around our local wineries I came across these guys: http://www.charlesspinettawinery.com/
The Chenin Blanc is damn near acid free, and they also have the Orange and Black Muscat. In limited quantities they even have an excellent frost wine from time to time.

All the wines are excellent, and well priced, and they ship too. So, if you want to get a wine that even a wine hater will probably enjoy and not end up with some Arbor Mist crap, consider them.

[godaistudios]

While I don't consider myself a wine connisseur, there are a few wineries in Paso Robles in California I'm familiar with - one being Rio Seco - which has an interesting blend - vintage is 2003, it's made up of 50% Cabernet/30% Merlot/20% Cabernet Franc, and I've enjoyed a couple of bottles of it.

If I make it out that way again, I want to try Justin's vinyard out there, though they seem to have some of the most expensive wines in the region - I've only been able to find one bottle of Justin's special reserve, and I wasn't ready to drop close to $100 on the bottle to find out if I'd like it or not.

[Wenchie]

Any recommendations on a good white? I can't have red wines because the tannins are a big migraine trigger for me... and I'm allergic to hops so I can't have beer... I drink a lot of cider when I'm out at a pub since I can't have beer and hate paying for watered down mixed drinks, since they rarely make them as strong as they should (or as I like.)

I don't know a lot about rum. Except that rum & Vernors makes a really good mixed drink. But you need to pretty much live in Michigan or Florida to know what Vernors is.

(Edit: Michigan has a lot of wineries, but I haven't had a chance to go out and do tastings. I should try to make it out to some of the closer ones this summer.)

[Jester]

Any recommendations on a good white?

I already commented on these:

Robert Mondavi Fume Blanc
Murphy-Goode Fume Blanc

Also, Cavit Pinot Grigio and Brancott Sauvignon Blanc are tasty.

I should admit that I have never found a chardonnay I liked, so I have no suggestions in that category for you. Can't stand chardonnay, really. Ick.

I don't know a lot about rum. Except that rum & Vernors makes a really good mixed drink. But you need to pretty much live in Michigan or Florida to know what Vernors is.

I know what Vernor's is. Not a huge fan, but can see how it would go well with rum. If you want something different from the usual Bacardi, I would recommend Kilo Kai spiced rum, Atlantico, or Appleton Estate VX with your Vernor's.

[Pagan]

Any recommendations on a good white? I can't have red wines because the tannins are a big migraine trigger for me... and I'm allergic to hops so I can't have beer... I drink a lot of cider when I'm out at a pub since I can't have beer and hate paying for watered down mixed drinks, since they rarely make them as strong as they should (or as I like.)

Kendall-Jackson make a good Chard. Jacob's Creek, an Australian, has a good Chard. You can never go wrong with Fetzer, either.

I know some people with laugh and pooh-pooh them, but Barefoot and Two Buck Chuck (well, it's $3, not) are actually really good wines.

[Jester]

Jacob's Creek, an Australian, has a good Chard.

And an amazing Shiraz, if you prefer red.

[Pagan]

And an amazing Shiraz, if you prefer red.

All of Yellow Tail's line is pretty good, too. And I've been liking Little Penguin lately.

There's also a really good sparkling by Seaview.

[KiaKat]

Next time you're at a store, look up Indaba. They have similar wines to Yellowtail, and it's much better.

RE: Chardonnay

Many people (especially those with trained palates, like Jester) tend to dislike the American style of Chard - it's been matured in charred new oak barrels, which means buttery texture, vanilla/caramel/coconut flavours, and a distinct "woody" note. I can't stand it.

Try some of the French Chards - Pouilly Fuisse (Fume is Sauvignon Blanc from the Loire, Fuisse is Chardonnay from Burgundy), Chablis (the good stuff, not the jug), Macon-Villages, or Beaujolais Blanc. They're unoaked, tend to have fairly crisp, minerally notes, and are generally delicious. I love them.

Other whites to consider: Italian; from Piedmont or Veneto, Spanish; from Rueda or Rias Baixas, or, if you can find it, Slovenian Tocai.

If you're looking for sweet, try a German Riesling from the Mosel valley. Loosen Bros. makes a good one, so does JJ Prum. Kronenburg (will correct spelling when I can check the bottle) makes a Spatlese (peak-of-harvest) that tastes like honeyed apples. Also look for Chenin Blanc from the Vouvray region of the Loire Valley in France. It should be labeled Demi-Sec.

[Treasure]

If you're looking for sweet, try a German Riesling.

My fave!! I love Riesling, and I'm a big fan of the $7.00 blue bottle!!! Pinot Grigio (SP?) is also a light white, slightly sweet;

Also try Honey Mead - my favorite is Chaucer's but they are a little sweeter than most people I know tend to prefer, in the summer months, its great chilled, and in the winter its amazing mulled or even used to spike apple cider mmmmmm

[Pagan]

If you're looking for sweet, try a German Riesling from the Mosel valley.

And that's where I run. I can't stand sweet wines. But, I do like dry rieslings and Gewurztraminers.

The closest to a sweet wine I'll get is St. Clair Vineyards Mimbres Red. HUGE cherry notes, one of those that's easy to drink too fast. Of course, the family that owns the vineyard (and several others in NM) is from France and has a long wine-making tradition.