Some Helpful Hints for Dining Out.

[Jester]

I've got two to add to the list, if I may:

I am going to disagree. The ones I posted are the kind where you want to hit the people if they don't follow them. The ones you posted are minor annoyances. And frankly, I AM paid to clean up after customers, so I do not think that they should be stacking plates for me...it is, after all, MY JOB. Hell, when I see people stacking plates for me, I often joke with them: "Stop that! You're on vacation, I'M working!" As for the papers in the coffee cups...whatever. There are far more annoying things to deal with.

[tollbaby]

I'll also disagree with you Mishi. I've actually had waitstaff get annoyed when dishes were stacked - to them, it's a sign that you don't feel they're clearing up fast enough, and it can actually be perceived as an insult. I will absolutely pass plates over to make things easier, especially if I'm seated in a booth.

[draftermatt]

I'll also disagree with you Mishi. I've actually had waitstaff get annoyed when dishes were stacked - to them, it's a sign that you don't feel they're clearing up fast enough, and it can actually be perceived as an insult. I will absolutely pass plates over to make things easier, especially if I'm seated in a booth.

At Disney World there's a restaurant (50's Diner) where if you don't stack your plates you get screamed at (lovingly) by the wait staff who are pretending to be 50's style Moms.

It really irritated me since I've been told to never stack at restaurants.

The waitress then proceeded to yell at us for stacking our glasses as "you never do that!"

For all it's "charm" and "fun" people tried to sell to me about that place, I was ready to tell that lady to fuck off.

[PatchO'Black]

At Disney World there's a restaurant (50's Diner) where if you don't stack your plates you get screamed at (lovingly) by the wait staff who are pretending to be 50's style Moms.

It really irritated me since I've been told to never stack at restaurants.

The waitress then proceeded to yell at us for stacking our glasses as "you never do that!"

For all it's "charm" and "fun" people tried to sell to me about that place, I was ready to tell that lady to fuck off.

Ah, topic drift, how we love thee....

The 50's Prime Time Diner, like most themed restaurants, rely on one actually enjoying the theme. I, for one, have often thought I would like playing along at that particular eatery. Of course, not everyone is going to want to have a "dinner at home" when they are on vacation.

[KiaKat]

*nods*

Just my 2c here, but I was always taught that stacking dishes at the table is terrible. But then I was also taught that a waitperson should never clear the table before everyone is done eating, and that the proper way to indicate that one is done eating is to place one's used silverware parallel on the plate (if one is NOT done eating, one crosses said silverware on the plate).

YMMV, of course.

Back on topic: I can't tell you how many times I've ranted about similar subjects to friends, coworkers, bosses, anyone who will listen, my parents, etc. I swear people shouldn't be allowed out in polite company before taking a class on How To Behave In A Bar Or Restaurant.

[Jester]

I've actually had waitstaff get annoyed when dishes were stacked - to them, it's a sign that you don't feel they're clearing up fast enough, and it can actually be perceived as an insult.

More pragmatically, we know how to stack stuff so we can balance it and walk with as much as possible. The customer may or may not be wait staff in their own job, but they are definitely not US, and their method for balancing dishes from four finished dinners may be quite different from my method, or that of my coworkers, etc.

Just my 2c here, but I was always taught that stacking dishes at the table is terrible.

It is sometimes considered rude, and generally at fine dining restaurants they observe this. I have seen customers yell at staff in my establishment for doing just this.

I should point out that I do not working a fucking fine dining restaurant. I work in a casual family restaurant/bar in a very laidback island town. So to these hoity-toities I say, fuck off, you self-important pricks.

I swear people shouldn't be allowed out in polite company before taking a class on How To Behave In A Bar Or Restaurant.

I could--and would--teach that class.

Just call me Professor Jester!

[DemoDiva]

I always feel guilty when I watch the waitress trying to clear up the dishes as quickly as possible while I'm sitting on my hands, so I always try to help at least a little, by moving dishes towards her, or putting the silverware on the top plate.

Bad DD?

[Seshat]

I'll also disagree with you Mishi. I've actually had waitstaff get annoyed when dishes were stacked - to them, it's a sign that you don't feel they're clearing up fast enough, and it can actually be perceived as an insult. I will absolutely pass plates over to make things easier, especially if I'm seated in a booth.

Uh... what?

Though Jester's explanation makes sense - that I might not stack plates in a way that balances well on his arms.

[Jester]

I always feel guilty when I watch the waitress trying to clear up the dishes as quickly as possible while I'm sitting on my hands, so I always try to help at least a little, by moving dishes towards her, or putting the silverware on the top plate.

Bad DD?

Not bad at all to help out. As I said in my post, the people who actually stack them, I JOKE with them to stop working, as they are on vacation and I am not. I am never actually offended by this, though I could see some servers at some higher end restaurants feeling a bit embarrassed. Hell, our profession has its share of jerks too, so I wouldn't be that shocked by someone being offended by the stacking of the plates, but overall, you don't need to do it, you shouldn't feel the need to do it, but if you do it, don't worry about offending the servers.

Hell, in general, do not worry about offending the servers if you are not being an asshole. Their job is to serve you, not the other way around. Not to say they are your servants, as some SCs believe, but the job description is right in the name: server. Just as I don't attempt to help the electrician with the wiring (because I know he knows better), I don't feel the need to go out of my way to help a server.

Do I stack plates? Of course I do. I can't help it. It's habit for me. You'll find most long-time food service industry people do this without thinking about it. But I don't want anyone here thinking that they SHOULD be doing this.

I hope that all made sense. I am a bit woozy this afternoon.

[tollbaby]

Uh... what?

Though Jester's explanation makes sense - that I might not stack plates in a way that balances well on his arms.

I'm not kidding. I've actually had wait staff get annoyed with me for stacking plates, and as I had friends who worked at the same place (thought not on that shift) I was able to get the reasoning behind their annoyance. Seemed stupid to me too... I was done, I was trying to help, but they got the impression that I was rushing them. Meh.

[KiaKat]

My last note about stacking plates, I promise

One reason to avoid stacking plates in nice restaurants is that frequently there are embellishments that can be damaged by someone stacking. The servers have been trained on how to clear a table without scratching or breaking the china.

Obviously this doesn't hold true in all places. Many normal restaurants don't have china that is fine enough to warrant that sort of care. Most places I've worked have just tossed everything into a busing tub and said "meh" if something broke. But there's another good reason to not stack most plates - the danger factor. Unless a server is particularly lucky or has inordinately good balance, they *will* drop a stack of plates at some point. It's a lot easier to clean up (and a lot safer) if the stack of plates is only a couple pieces, rather than the entire table.

There are other reasons I've heard, including avoiding the sound of clinking china (it sets my teeth on edge, like nails on a chalkboard) and keeping the food from splashing everywhere (an inch of soup in the bottom of a bowl can end up on the ceiling when a glass is dropped on it), but safety is the big reason, in my experience.

Unlike my aunt, though, I won't snap at a server if they stack at the table. But then, I don't tend to snap at waitstaff as much as she does. I'm rather glad she doesn't still have the restaurant/catering service she used to own. She must have been a pain to work for.

[Javarod]

Yes, and that's fair. But I live in Key West, Florida.

If I lived in Phoenix and worked in a bar there and got that stupid question, my response would probably be something like, "No, we commute from Miami every day just to work here."

You get the idea.

Laughs, "Oh, i knew what you meant, but i just couldn't resist that (and for the record, my commute is 107 miles one way)."

[Jester]

One reason to avoid stacking plates in nice restaurants

At a nice restaurant, a diner would look silly stacking plates. Nice restaurants is where the patron is pampered so they feel like they don't have to do a thing. And even my compulsion to stack plates will not generally manifest itself if I am at a nice place. I might place the silver on the plate to indicate I am through, but that is pretty much it.

Really...let them earn their money. You heard this from a server who has worked everything from Denny's to fine dining, and everything in between. Nice restaurants? There is no reason for a customer to "help" the staff by stacking plates. Seriously.

Unlike my aunt, though, I won't snap at a server if they stack at the table.

I generally don't stack ON the table, though I will stack AT the table, stacking them in one arm while I collect them with the other. More often than not, I can clear a 4-6 person table in one go (depending on what funky dishes they may have), and have made many managers nervous with the sheer amount of stuff I will take at one go. Of course, this has not been a major issue lately, as I am pretty much exclusively behind the bar these days, and since we have bus tubs under the bar, I don't have to go as far, so I don't feel the need to stack so much in one go at all.

...my commute is 107 miles one way

Each way? Are you mad?!?!?!?

[Seshat]

Hm. Thank you for the additional information - especially the 'danger factor' one. I really hadn't thought of that.

My family tries to stack helpfully - so that leftover food isn't a hidden trap in the middle of the stack, so that cutlery is all on top and visible. But I'll mention that possibility next time, and we may well switch to a 'passing plates' family.

And I think I've eaten at the 'fine dining' level ... twice. In my lifetime. So don't worry about me scratching the china!

[Javarod]

Each way? Are you mad?!?!?!?

Yes, but i assure you that has nothing to do with this.

Seriously, i got a management position down there, just requires four trips a month. 'course the wonder van would decide to develop problems now, i'm down to 17MPG from 21. Joy. Besides, i drive a lot, in two months i've put around 3600 miles on it in less than 2 months, so that little commute is nothing.