My birth certificate does not say America, Bank Of.

[Whiskey]

Quickies from fast food graveyard. Both take place at the window, after they've ordered, I'm only barely making up the amounts. Its within a dollar.

Me:
C:


Me: Hello, 4.31 please
C: *hands me a hundred*
Me: *pulls a face, looks for keys*
C: Oh uh sorry
Me: its not a problem. *shuts window, collects money out of my lock box, opens window* 95$ is your change
C: Yeah my wife works a job like this!
Me: Oh. Really.
C: Yeah so I know what youre going through.
Me: I can tell. I just dont like hundreds because last time I was robbed since the guy behind that car saw me take a hundred. He knew I had at least one (lie).
C: *looks uncomfortable* oh..


Now heres the thing, unless its super ridiculously slow after 11pm and before 4am I can cash at least 2 hundred dollar bills. More if they're not supermassive dickholes who pay for 5$ in food with a hundred. However, after 4 you're on your own. I drop all my money in the safe and get a clean drawer with a grand total of 75$ in it.

Its like 4:15AM

Me: Hello, 3.45 please
C: You can cash a fifty right
Me: Unfortunately I can't right now (truth. No one had paid me with a twenty so I had 75$ to last me 2-2 1/2 hours)
C: ARE YOU SERIOUS
Me: Yes, after four I only have access to whats in my till.
C: Can you cash a 20?
Me: *thinks, ugh itll bring me low* Yeah.
C: OH SO YOU CAN CASH A 20 BUT NOT A 50!?
Me: ...yeah? (thats a 30$ difference in change, kids!)
C: Whatever here's a five.

Are. you. serious.


And finally I gave a customer who was just shit out of luck for ordering free food. He was nice and didn't give me trouble. He wanted jalapeno poppers, well we were out. Fine, he'll take cheese sticks. I ring him up when my TL tells me we ran out apparently. I tell him we're out of those too and he asks if we have fish. Dude is now going to have to wait 3 minutes at the window, has already not gotten what he wants twice, and hes not biting my head off. I didn't ring up the damn fish. Not a big deal. I got a talking to because I gave it to him. So apparently only the people who threaten me physically get free food. Fuck off. I gave the guy 2$ in free food. The cranky motherfuckers get at least 10$. I am apparently the worst at customer service.

And I overheard that our store managers bonus is tied into her food ordering some how. Less waste or whatever. That explains why we only run out of unneccesary things. Like tacos. Or egg rolls. Jalapeno poppers and cheese sticks. Chicken patties and FRIES. Don't forget bags and napkins.

God forbid if we dont have six cases of fruit cups though. I think I've sold like ten cups in five months.

OH GOD EDIT I FORGOT ABOUT BACON AND CHEESE GUY

I'm gonna do it with him through the window one day.

me: what can i get you
B&C: #4, curly fries with bacon and cheese and a coke
me: see you at the window
TL: ITS YOUR MAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN
Me: HAYYYYYYY *does suggestive hip movements*

-B&C pulls to window-
Me: -eyelash batting galore- 5.27
B&C: here you go.

*makes food*
B&C: (hollers) HURRY UP
Me: *turns to window, screeches* WHAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
TL: O_O
B&C: O_O
Me: >:O
B&C: Just kidding! :*
Me: *gives him his food* Mayo and sweet&sour?
B&C: just mayo please
Me: See you next time
B&C:

Gonna hit it with the angry fist of god.

[MoonCat]

At least you had one nice guy.

What is it with these people with the 100-dollar bills? Are their lives so pathetic that they get their jollies trying to impress people at the drive-thru by flashing 100-dollar bills around?

[Whiskey]

At least you had one nice guy.

What is it with these people with the 100-dollar bills? Are their lives so pathetic that they get their jollies trying to impress people at the drive-thru by flashing 100-dollar bills around?

I really have no idea. The ONLY time I get big bills from the bank is when I'm paying rent or an 80+ dollar bill. OR if i'm at a sit down restaurant, but thats extremely rare that I have nothing but hundred dollar bill. Even then, if I know I only have a hundred I make it a point to drink a crap ton of beer and bring my bill around 40-50$ (yes this is the reason. stop looking at me. DONT JUDGE ME YOU DONT KNOW ME)

But the fact I think ahead is legitimate proof I'm legally insane in 48 states.

[lupo pazzesco]

Urg...big bill breakers. Minor pet peeve of mine.

At Textbook Hell, we have an ATM inside, that dispenses $50s and $10s, and is popular because you can ask for withdrawals in increments of 10, whereas most others are $20. Of course, we aren't allowed to straight up give change for those who get 50s, can't open drawers without a cash transaction. So people will buy a coke to break a 50.

One guy withdrew about $200 from the ATM then asked for smaller bills, I said no. He bought a scantron. (22 cents). Paid with a 50. Went to get a coke. Offered another 50. Tried to get a pack of gum, and I flat out told him it was early in the morning, we didn't have change, and I knew for a fact he had smaller bills, (since I gave them to him!) and thus we had to ask for something smaller. He starts screaming that it was legal tender and I was REQUIRED to take it.

Me: We also reserve the right to refuse service. Have a nice day now! Buh bye!!!!

I don't get why people do that, it's damned inconvenient, especially when there are banks close enough I can walk to them within 20 minutes, so it's like, a 2 minute drive. Idiots.

</grumblefest>

</threadjack> Sorry....

[Whiskey]

My school offers free scantrons (1 per day with an up-to-date student ID card) for free. Just sayin, if you want to be.. picky look into it

[RayvenQ]

I'm the reverse of Big Bill Breakers, I ALWAYS try and give close to the exact amount of money, quite often i do give the exact change.
Good luck on getting your paws on B&C guy

[Whiskey]

I'm the reverse of Big Bill Breakers, I ALWAYS try and give close to the exact amount of money, quite often i do give the exact change.

Have it ready. I have a great ability to not blink for a solid couple minutes. People get very nervous when someone is just standing there, not moving, like O_O.

[VenomX]

He starts screaming that it was legal tender and I was REQUIRED to take it.

Ummm NO.

You are not required to accept it by law.

Just the other night.. A "lady" that wanted to use a $100 on a 50 cent pack of gum. I told her no way I could do that with the money I had in the drawer. She insisted I HAD to and I told her nope as per the law I could accept anything form of payment I wished. Infact if I felt like it I could tell all customers that they had to give me 10,000 jellybeans as payment.

She huffed and puffed and left. LOL

[Project_Mars]

Someone told me that a lot of people get paid in big bills and that's allegedly all they have... not sure if that's quite it...

[bean]

Someone told me that a lot of people get paid in big bills and that's allegedly all they have... not sure if that's quite it...

If they don't have bank accounts maybe. Otherwise they can request whatever they like when cashing their check. I suspect the ones with big bills are going to the ripoff payday cashing places. It'd be cheaper (by a large amount) to just go to the issuing bank to begin with where I work, Chase only charges $5 instead of 1-2%. Most of my store's employees are full time, and full time starts at 10/hr.... (and payroll is handled by Chase). My employer also offers direct deposit "debit cards" (with some crazy fees) for those that are truly so challenged that they can't get a bank account.

For what it's worth, I'm listed on ChexSystems and a couple of check processors and still manage to keep an active checking account with a debit Mastercard, with an absolutely amazing bank (USAA).

[Whiskey]

If they don't have bank accounts maybe. Otherwise they can request whatever they like when cashing their check. I suspect the ones with big bills are going to the ripoff payday cashing places. It'd be cheaper (by a large amount) to just go to the issuing bank to begin with where I work, Chase only charges $5 instead of 1-2%. Most of my store's employees are full time, and full time starts at 10/hr.... (and payroll is handled by Chase). My employer also offers direct deposit "debit cards" (with some crazy fees) for those that are truly so challenged that they can't get a bank account.

For what it's worth, I'm listed on ChexSystems and a couple of check processors and still manage to keep an active checking account with a debit Mastercard, with an absolutely amazing bank (USAA).

Most jobs here start at 8/hr. BOA charges 5$ to cash its own checks (all our payroll is through BOA). The people, including me, who work here live hand to mouth. 5$ is an entire day's food. We don't get direct deposit because its "too expensive." We used to have the DD cards, but they eliminated those too.

If you get paid in big bills, you can always go to a bank and cash them out for small bills for free. Shocking.

[taurinejunkie]

Ah, USA, never cease to amaze me with madness. Every ATM I've been to in Canada gives out 20s and nothing else; and it's rare to see anything higher than that (though my godfather once gave me a 100 as a birthday gift), and there are stores that flat-out refuse 50s and 100s, maybe because there are more fakes around or maybe because they empty out a till real quick. Oh and I almost forgot, our bills are color-coded, so these quick-handed scammers that give you a 10 and claim it was a 100, or something, fail every single time north of the border.

[Whiskey]

I wish my store would mandate a grave bill limit. Nothing higher than a 20 after 10pm. It makes me incredibly nervous. All you have to do is hand me a 50/100$ and know I have enough in my box to steal. Not to mention I HAVE THE KEYS.

My bank has ATM's that will do as low as fives. It'll give me all the 20s I want up until 100. You have to go in a bank, or get paid under the table (as a lot of people do) to get 100$ bills. Also, crooks have gotten a lot smarter. You're probably more likely to get a fake 5$ bill than a fake 100$ bill. (I did, in fact, pull that fact straight out of my ass)

For what it's worth, I'm listed on ChexSystems and a couple of check processors and still manage to keep an active checking account with a debit Mastercard, with an absolutely amazing bank (USAA).

Also, isnt USAA a Military bank that civilians can't have accounts at (unless related to a military person)?

[Magpie]

Ah, USA, never cease to amaze me with madness. Every ATM I've been to in Canada gives out 20s and nothing else; and it's rare to see anything higher than that (though my godfather once gave me a 100 as a birthday gift), and there are stores that flat-out refuse 50s and 100s, maybe because there are more fakes around or maybe because they empty out a till real quick. Oh and I almost forgot, our bills are color-coded, so these quick-handed scammers that give you a 10 and claim it was a 100, or something, fail every single time north of the border.

The ATM at my mom's college campus gives out $5 as well. But all the relatives who love to give $50 and $100 bills for Christmas and birthdays had to have gone to the bank for that. I think the colour-coding does encourage people to give the higher bills - which is worth more: a small stack of green bills, or a single brown pink bill? And I've had cashiers get confused about what I gave them here. Scammers work on "you forgot what I gave you", not on "you didn't look at it clearly". Colour-coding doesn't really help with that, unless one or the other of the cashier and the customer is visually impaired, AND it isn't a deliberate scam. (I will admit that it seems to be loonie vs toonie that confuses cashiers, especially when I hand them $2.05 for a $1.05 purchase).

[trailerparkmedic]

Also, isnt USAA a Military bank that civilians can't have accounts at (unless related to a military person)?

Anyone can have a basic bank account with USAA. They limit some insurance stuff and a few types of bank accounts to members.

They aren't required to give members an account/car insurance/etc. One of my classmates (when I lived in San Antonio) did something fairly high up the food chain on the car insurance side and she told us a story about a SC who was flabbergasted that they revoked his insurance after something like 4 DWIs. She was high enough she got to be pretty bitchy to him.