Special cases. Customers that you HAVE to mess with. *language*

[Dentarthurdent]

I always thought those were manly tears that came out when I was watching the end Iron Giant. Supermaaaaan. Crap, gets me every time. Jeez I'm getting misty just remembering it. Wait, what was I talking about. Oh yeah, I think I drifted off while the customer was ranting. Back to the rage.*[/COLOR] ...f*cking *sshole!

LMAO. I always drift away and start thinking about The Iron Giant when people shout, too.

[Sarcastro]

Totally. Don't mind me. I'm going to my happy place. While you're rattling off the 50 reasons why we should compensate whatever arbitrary amount you demand because your power was out for two hours, I'm thinking about how awesome it would be to have a fast spaceship and a Wookee co pilot/best friend. Once you stop talking I repeat the same thing I've repeated 3 times already. I don't mind when the customer fights with me, I have a million day dreams ready for this daily occurrence. If they only knew I was ignoring them completely when they rant I wonder if they would just keep talking. I figure a lot of them would as most of them just call in to hear the sound of their own voice.

But that's why I'm always super nice to CSR's. I try to keep it short and stick to business so I don't mess up their stats. Also they could be like me and make my life hell.

Every now and then I'll check back on my special cases and laugh at the comments some reps leave. The noobs have no idea how to handle these guys. But since I'm basically insane from having worked customer service since I was 17 I'm the one that likes to take those calls.

But yeah man, bartenders usually ignore me until they serve me my first drink and see the tip I leave them. When I come back up to the bar they get right to me. I over-tip like a mad man. Bartenders are people you want to have as friends. They are the gate keepers to sweet inebriation. Inebriation needed to forget I could have gone to law school and just avoided all this bs.

Don't really have time for Team Fortress 2 any more. Played it on my friends account. Then got my own. downloaded it and got addicted to portal instead. Now I'm sort of stuck on Zombie Driver for no specific reason. Ok, I like to mow down hordes of zombified customers in a fast car armed with missiles. Need to prepare for when the necropalypse actually happens.

I work for a brokerage, and because my firm deals mainly with other brokerages (and not individual clients) I don't get very many opportunities to mess with customers. Still, there are a couple of idiots I have to deal with.

For example, we have "Donald." This guy will see our listings posted somewhere, and will call in...show bids that are miles away from where we'd sell them. Then he'll whine about how we "don't want to deal with him." Sorry, but fuck you, Donald. We're not going to take a loss on something because you're a cheap bastard. We know what our listings are worth. Buy the bonds, don't buy the bonds...we don't care. If you don't, someone else will...and they'll be willing to pay full price for them.

Don't get me wrong--he seems to be a nice guy--but the minute he starts whining, I start to tune him out. In fact, when I hear his voice, I can feel my eyeballs glazing over I also don't like the guy, for other reasons. Mainly, because he's pestered us on a (no longer) daily basis on things for 6 years, and hasn't purchased a thing!

Yet, I'm still "obligated" to send him lists of items. If I don't, he whines to my boss, and I get into trouble. Too much effort for no return

Seriously, I'd try using an analogy on him: If you worked at a busy hotdog stand, and had a customer that came up to you and asked you what toppings you had and complained incessantly about the brand of ketchup or how you should be wearing a hair net and gloves. You'd probably be ok with it if every now and then he paid you for a hot dog. But let's say this customer never actually bought a hotdog, just stood there while I had customers waiting in line and complained. Would you not eventually grab a bottle of horseradish and violently introduce it to his rectum sideways? You probably would, Donald. Now, I'm not saying you're an annoying customer, but I am saying that I'll violate you anally with large bottles of spicy condiments at the angle that will cause the most discomfort to you if you ever call here again. And don't think I don't know where to find you, as I send you listings on a daily basis and your address is permanently burned into my cerebral cortex.

Or maybe you could use something a little less illegal to threaten him with.

[Peppergirl]

Note to SC: Don't mess with the guy who has the power to make your life miserable.

I find this offensive!

I'm a travel agent and I have never, EVER stuck someone who pissed me off into a center seat near the lavatory on a cross-country flight.

Shame on you!

/end sarcasm

[Sarcastro]

I find this offensive!

I'm a travel agent and I have never, EVER stuck someone who pissed me off into a center seat near the lavatory on a cross-country flight.

Shame on you!

/end sarcasm

I... I... I love you. That sticking a jerk customer next to the toilet in a center seat for probably 9 hours +... it's art.

Feeling the power of the dark side of the force! Oh and thanks for merging my posts. I promise to not be lazy and edit the ones I have in the future like I've got some decency.

Seriously this place is great. I knew I wasn't the only one!

[Red_Dazes]

Gggggo ffffff*ck yourself!

Me: I'm... just... not that flexible.

...Bad Red... No koolaid while reading CS!

^_^

Man I wish I could be like this sometimes....

[topaz1117]

I registered just to tell you...

You're my hero!

[Sarcastro]

I registered just to tell you...

You're my hero!

I am merely a vessel for karmic retribution. These powers were granted to me and are used only for good. Also it's fun being a dick to people who are at the other end of a phone and can't physically assault me. Sure they could find my office, maybe even get past security, even track me down to my cubicle but,... but... Crap. I can't find a way to end that sentence in a way that doesn't end with me in a bloody heap on the floor. Dude, maybe I should stop being a dick. Some of these assholes are crazy.

[Peppergirl]

I... I... I love you. That sticking a jerk customer next to the toilet in a center seat for probably 9 hours +... it's art.

Feeling the power of the dark side of the force! Oh and thanks for merging my posts. I promise to not be lazy and edit the ones I have in the future like I've got some decency.

Seriously this place is great. I knew I wasn't the only one!

I love you too!

I think you're confused...I said I DIDN'T and WOULDN'T do such a thing.

And don't worry about it - merging has nothing to do with decency. At least not much.

[Mikkel]

I love you too!

I think you're confused...I said I DIDN'T and WOULDN'T do such a thing.

And don't worry about it - merging has nothing to do with decency. At least not much.

As long as the airlines have less desirable seats, someone has to sit in them. Should it be someone nice or someone sucky? Easy choice.

[Chrismor]

Ah, you have to love the power of the travel agent. We are the ones who can make sure you get the center seat, down the back, by the lavatory, with no recline, next to the screaming baby, and that you get the vegetarian/low carb/gluten free meal.

I am not saying that we do that, but you know, a couple of little codes into our system and hey presto.

As for the seat next to the lavatory thing, the best one I heard was one of our corporate clients, getting a 10 seat private jet. 9 seats were, you know, seats. 1 seat was a leather covered cushion on top of the lavatory. Not sure how accurate the claim was, but there you go. That really is travelling in comfort.

C.

[Sarcastro]

I love you too!

I think you're confused...I said I DIDN'T and WOULDN'T do such a thing.

And don't worry about it - merging has nothing to do with decency. At least not much.

Ohhh, I got ya. *wink* *nod* Just like I'd never sign up a trouble customer up for every single bestiality newsletter/man on man action e-mails back when I sold computer parts. That would be boorish and juvenile, and as such completely beneath me.

[paxillated]

Ah, yes. I like to think I'm nice to people because I like to be - but I'm well aware that, when I'm the customer, it has benefits!

And from the other side of the counter, it was so much fun to watch the SCs turn red and splutter, while I remained friendly and polite. "I'm so sorry that happened, Ma'am! I really wish I could break the rules for you, but we're simply not allowed to [whatever]." Repeat ad nauseam, until SC has steam coming out of the ears, then offer: "Would you like me to call the manager?"

Which was great, because the manager was a bee-yotch on wheels. She hated me, and hated even more that she could never get anything on me. So she'd start by being nice, meet the sucky, and fireworks would commence.

Karma got her, thanks to a SC fraudster... I think I'll post that story!

Pax

[godaistudios]

...f*ggot *ss! Gggggo ffffff*ck yourself!

Me: I'm... just... not that flexible.

RM: F*CK YOU! *click*

snip

...or am I truly the only a-hole that enjoys messing with these guys?

I love the comment... if he hadn't hung up there, I would have likely responded with "While I appreciate the offer, I'm not that desperate, and you're not that lucky."

Why yes.... I have used that. I opened up the flood gates a bit when I found out I was being laid off my old job, and knew I only had to put up with customers from there for only so much longer.

Now, for the most part, I deal with a better class of customer.

[XCashier]

Example 2: "Rageman"
This guy calls in so incredibly angry that he stutters and tries his best to make you as angry as he is....
<snip hilarious pwnage>
Me: I'm... just... not that flexible.

RM: F*CK YOU! *click*

I totally do not feel sorry for these guys. They get themselves into trouble and think that pitching a massive conniption fit and screaming like a banshee will get them what they want. They deserve to drive themselves into an early grave.

[RetailWorkhorse]

If you worked at a busy hotdog stand, and had a customer that came up to you and asked you what toppings you had and complained incessantly about the brand of ketchup or how you should be wearing a hair net and gloves. You'd probably be ok with it if every now and then he paid you for a hot dog. But let's say this customer never actually bought a hotdog, just stood there while I had customers waiting in line and complained. Would you not eventually grab a bottle of horseradish and violently introduce it to his rectum sideways?

I resemble this remark!

We get customers like that ALL THE TIME.

We do not serve them and once they start talking smack we call the non-emergency line and the cops come visit. We just don't put up with the bullshit. Already had one threaten Dad (cops LOVED that silly drunk because he had drugs on him).