Tweet
Wardrobe malfunction (or "Bitch, you be trippin'"
So I'm doing my usual weekly Herding of the Furniture when somebody barks at me "I need some help here!"
I turn and am greeted by a young woman dressed in a style I would call "Wisconsin Winter Call Girl Chic." White, jewel-bedecked sunglasses atop her forehead, a winter stocking cap, a pink-and-black plaid (
uke) hoodie with fake fur and cropped just enough for me to see her belly piercing and tramp stamp, baggy blue jeans that look like they were run through a garbage disposal, judging by the shredded hems falling under her feet like stirrups, and wool clogs (aka winter flip-flops) that must've been unbuckled judging by the way they were flapping against her heels like flip flops. All this on about a 70-degree day. I tell ya, I don't understand people who dress like this.
"Where are the kitchen towels? They're not by the dishes!"
So I take her over a few aisles to the kitchen towels while she flaps behind me. Seriously, how can she walk like this?
I show her where the kitchen towels are and in gratification of sorts, the young woman tells me "This store is so fucking backwards."
And then it happens. The dumb slut manages to catch her foot on one of her dragging jeans hems, rips the denim right off the leg, and she goes tripping and face-planting right onto the floor, her shoe flying off her foot right onto the floor as her leg goes right up into the air!
"SHIT!" she howls and I turn to leave quickly, unsuccessfully stifling a giggle. "YEAH, YOU WALK AWAY LAUGHING! ASSHOLE!"
It's always awesome to see somebody pwn themselves like that.
I turn and am greeted by a young woman dressed in a style I would call "Wisconsin Winter Call Girl Chic." White, jewel-bedecked sunglasses atop her forehead, a winter stocking cap, a pink-and-black plaid (
uke) hoodie with fake fur and cropped just enough for me to see her belly piercing and tramp stamp, baggy blue jeans that look like they were run through a garbage disposal, judging by the shredded hems falling under her feet like stirrups, and wool clogs (aka winter flip-flops) that must've been unbuckled judging by the way they were flapping against her heels like flip flops. All this on about a 70-degree day. I tell ya, I don't understand people who dress like this."Where are the kitchen towels? They're not by the dishes!"
So I take her over a few aisles to the kitchen towels while she flaps behind me. Seriously, how can she walk like this?
I show her where the kitchen towels are and in gratification of sorts, the young woman tells me "This store is so fucking backwards."
And then it happens. The dumb slut manages to catch her foot on one of her dragging jeans hems, rips the denim right off the leg, and she goes tripping and face-planting right onto the floor, her shoe flying off her foot right onto the floor as her leg goes right up into the air!
"SHIT!" she howls and I turn to leave quickly, unsuccessfully stifling a giggle. "YEAH, YOU WALK AWAY LAUGHING! ASSHOLE!"
It's always awesome to see somebody pwn themselves like that.
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
) hoodie with fake fur
Comment