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Wherein the Monkey Loses His S**t

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  • Wherein the Monkey Loses His S**t

    Dateline: My school, my classroom.

    We are enmeshed in composition class, and we're closing in on roughly halfway thorugh. We normally take a short break (105 minute classes, don'tcha know) in the middle. We're discussing an evaluative article I had the class read and one of my students on my left side of the room is making a cogent point.

    Sadly, because I have a little hearing loss, I can't hear the student. The main reason is because Chatty Cathys #1 and #2 are once again discussing something in not-so-subtle whispers on the other side of the room.

    And I lost my cool. It happens.

    This has been a continual problem. They have been warned repeatedly. The Monkey has been polite thus far, but the Monkey has now flipped the switch to Murder-Death-Kill mode.

    Excerpts from my rant (approximate):

    "Everyone in this room paid to be here, and none of them paid to listen to you two talking about last week's episode of Glee."

    "I've given you five weeks to figure out how to act like adults in this room, but if you'd like, we can return to third grade and I can separate you two."

    "If you want to be part of the conversation, you might try raising your hand."

    "If you want to have Chatty Cathy time, the door is there, and you can come back on Wednesday ready to take part in this class."

    We took our break early. I needed to be out of the room at that point.

    Deep sigh.

    And then, after the break, I proceeded to teach the class as if nothing had happened.

    Two final notes: Multiple students thanked me after this outburst. Additionally, at least one student in the room next door asked me what happened, so I guess I should work on quieter ranting.
    Enjoy my latest stupid quest for immortality. http://1001plus.blogspot.com/

  • #2
    I'm so sorry the first image I had when I read the thread title was of that Family Guy monkey throwing poo.
    ...
    o___o Go LM. *gives spangle to add to fez* *golfclap*
    also, bonus points for pleasing use of "enmeshed," and excellent use of "cogent"
    and spelling "don'tcha" correctly.
    EDIT: I think you handled the situation appropriately, given that I didn't hear your rant verbatim. (curse you Latin, now I can't spell again, three times to guess I refuse to give into auto-correct handing me the right spelling *shakes fist*)
    Last edited by teh_blumchenkinder; 11-09-2010, 02:54 AM.
    "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
    "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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    • #3
      Well, you warned 'em.

      They didnt listen.

      You pwned them.

      Its all good.

      Comment


      • #4
        Why do I still think they haven't learned their lessons?

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        • #5
          I always hated that in college when a professor would be forced to resort to that.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Aethian View Post
            Why do I still think they haven't learned their lessons?
            Because they honestly don't comprehend that what they are doing is wrong. They're just having a little chat and all of a sudden the professor goes apeshit on them!!! Like, WTF?!

            Sadly, far too many people today are that self-centered and clueless, even smashing them over the head with a 50 pound ClueBat will not get through; they'll think you're just picking on them.
            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
            My LiveJournal
            A page we can all agree with!

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            • #7
              i believe what you did was right; maybe not the full methodology, but then again, the denser the being, the nastier and louder you have to be to get the point across.

              i'm thinking that these two twits will cry to mommy and daddy about how their professor 'traumatized' them.
              look! it's ghengis khan!
              Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

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              • #8
                Right now in my Introduction in Art class, I am near to doing the same thing..except of course I am not the instructor. Not only does the instructor ignore it, but they talk FAST, and trying to take notes while 2 groups of 2 are talking in different parts of the class is very difficult.

                Add to the fact that the professor will go off in wild tangents, AND I have STS problems..my notebook probably looks like unorganized insanity. As opposed to the organized insanity it should resemble.
                Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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                • #9
                  One of my teachers did that my senior year of high school.
                  Two girls were gossiping over whatever the current teen show was (I really don't watch the 'shows for my age group.')

                  Poor English teacher just lost it. We'd all had him for all four years (Core classes for this program were all the same.).

                  Y: "For the love of. You two have had FOUR YEARS TO LEARN TO SHUT UP! You're in class. Safe that gossiping bull crap til Lunch! Unless you can find a way to have YOUR conversation meld with my lesson, there will be no talking by either of you the rest of this period. Otherwise, I start deducting two points off your grade, per word.."

                  He was also the Judo instructor. A boy tried to slap a girl, and the girl was in his Judo class. She flipped the boy onto the floor, looked at Y bowed and sat down. LOL

                  You'd think once you hit college, the need to be an annoyance would have ceased, but maybe they missed the memo about being mature. I'm sorry. But I don't think you were wrong to correct them. You are supposed to be teaching them responsibility along with your subject of choice. I see NOTHING wrong.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth superhotelworker View Post
                    You'd think once you hit college, the need to be an annoyance would have ceased, but maybe they missed the memo about being mature.
                    You'd think that, wouldn't you. I thought that when I went to college, I'd actually get to be in classes with mature people. Nope. Then I thought that when I got to my upper level classes, those people would be weeded out. Nope. People were over an hour late to some of my classes on the first day.
                    The High Priest is an Illusion!

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                    • #11
                      Been there, done that, didn't get no steenkin' t-shirt - but there are people who will pull the crap off you. And deserve at least a smidgeon of it to go their way.
                      Even more when they paid to be there.
                      Oh, I got that attitude: "I paid, so I can do what I want". You can guess the reply.
                      FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC

                      You're not a unique snowflake unless you create your own mould (Raps)

                      ***GK, Sarcastro, Lupo, LingualMonkey, BookBint, Jester, Irv, Hero & Marlowe fan***

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                      • #12
                        Quoth ArcticChicken View Post
                        You'd think that, wouldn't you. I thought that when I went to college, I'd actually get to be in classes with mature people. Nope. Then I thought that when I got to my upper level classes, those people would be weeded out. Nope. People were over an hour late to some of my classes on the first day.
                        A couple of years ago I had a class where a good quarter of my students were habitually late. They would complain they couldn't find parking (it was a 9am class).

                        Come earlier, I said. I get here at 7:30 and I never have trouble parking. But heaven forbid the precious little angels have to get up early to get to class on time.

                        Finally, I got sick of it, and started locking the door when I started class, and refused to unlock it until the first break. All of a sudden, everyone was seated by the time I was ready to start class.

                        I did lose my temper in the classroom once, a bit worse than lingual monkey did. I had several people who would talk, talk, talk during my lecture. I was unconsciously going hoarse trying to speak above the hubub. I tried admonishing the students to be polite to their peers and not talk while I was talking. About half way through the semester, I just lost it.

                        Me: OK, I've had enough. I've been telling you folks all semester not to talk while I am talking, unless you are asking a question or contributing to a class discussion. I'm done for the day. When you people are ready to behave, I'll come back to the classroom.

                        I then gathered up my things, and kicked the door open as I walked out (that was unprofessional I will confess).

                        You could have heard a pin drop in the room behind me as I left.

                        But it solved the problem. I had no further issues after that. And the students who were there to learn actually thanked me later.
                        They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                        • #13
                          Lingual Monkey: I feel your pain and thus I want to give you a cookie for your rant. I'm doing my student teaching. 8th graders, inner city. The biggest group of EWs I have ever met in my life. The first class completely ignores me no matter what I do, the teacher AND 2 aids can't do anything to help and gods know they've tried. There's 28 kids in social seating since there's so many of them and no one can get them all to shut up at the same time. Even for 2 seconds. I mean, I go to help someone who has no clue what is going on because (big surprise) they couldn't hear the directions, and 8 conversations are going on the other side of the room. Its like playing wack-a-mole with gossip.
                          Me to a friend: I know I'm crazy, you know I'm crazy, the zombies at the end of the world will know I'm crazy. Thus not eating my brain for fear of ingesting the crazy. It's my survival plan.

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                          • #14
                            When I was a substitute teacher, I actually had this happen in middle school. I stopped everything and just stared at the two little girls talking. In about thirty seconds, the whole class was staring and they kind of ground to a halt realizing they were now the center of attention.

                            "Now that I have your attention, can I ask what the topic was? I mean, I know math can get kind of boring, so you have my sympathies. But we are all ladies or gentlemen here, and that means we don't talk when someone else is talking."

                            I waited a little bit and then went back to talking; sure enough they started again in a few minutes and one more I stopped and turned around. They were quicker this time.

                            "Now, I said we were all ladies or gentlemen here. I don't want to have to guess which of the two you were. But if you're no longer one or the other, you can be something else. I'd like to call it 'walking to the principal's office'."

                            . . . they whispered the rest of the lesson. And so long as it was just whispering, I ignored it.

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                            • #15
                              I don't suppose the two Chatty Cathy's every apologized for causing a problem?
                              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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