Religious SC Behavior thread (Three part)

[ditchdj]

You know what I'd like to see????

Churches should be required to have members that "Practice what they preach". If not then they're NOT a real church and should NOT be exempt from paying taxes. But dont worry that'll never happen because it's not "politically correct".

[Athena]

Hi guys. Long time lurker first time poster.
We used to have lots of JW's visit us, until we had a carload visit when i had my three horses on the lawn. I live in a semi rural area and our yard is fully fenced. WHen i want the lawn mowed i just bring them up for a few hours. Anyway this carload pulled to a stop and they all piled out, dressed in their matronly best. Now my horses are my babies, they're molly coddled and given the best of everything. As a result they are VERY friendly and love cuddles and they see all humans as their friends.
I discovered that day that JW's don't hang around for very long after they've had three 16HH horses rub heads against them, drool grass slobber on their shoulders and try to shove their noses into their feedbag sized handbags. Surprisingly they haven't been back since, either.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Mastiffs work pretty much the same, and are pretty much the same size. The drawback is they dont' mow your lawn. The perk is that they can puncture tires with their teeth.

My in laws dont' have a lot of problem with anyone coming to their door.

[staticradio]

i really want to put together some pamphlets and little books for other religions.

someone hands you a chick tract hand him right back a discordian pamphlet or a church of scientology flyer

I had that today right after the transaction was final...it was like, "here you go..." a book on creationism vs. evolution (with more emphasis on the former). I should see if it's still there tomorrow (somewhat interested).

usually, I really hate when some denominations exploit their faith as the most important, but this was somewhat different.

I should just hand them back sometimes, and call the manager as it constitutes some degree of solicitation.

[Lehk]

I had that today right after the transaction was final...it was like, "here you go..." a book on creationism vs. evolution (with more emphasis on the former). I should see if it's still there tomorrow (somewhat interested).

usually, I really hate when some denominations exploit their faith as the most important, but this was somewhat different.

I should just hand them back sometimes, and call the manager as it constitutes some degree of solicitation.

"Lord Darwin would be most displeased if i were to read this"

[Pagan]

Btw, I'm Wiccan. A modern day witch. It doesn't matter what you say, they'll say you haven't found the truth.

MM Moirae - You should see how they react when you tell them you're not only Pagan, but you're a Druid! You can just see them looking for the human sacarfices!

I've never really had a problem at work, the only one made me laugh. I wear a pentagram necklace. One day (and it was around Christmas, too!) a lady came up to me and whispered, "Are you a witch?" To which (ha!) I replied "Yes, yes I am and I feel a spell coming on!"

I did do the religion two-step with some Baptists at my front door which is perpendicular to the kitchen window so I couldn't ignore them. Told them I wasn't interested, had my own religion, blah, blah. Then one of them pulled out the, "Don't you want to go to heaven" line. Looked at him and replied, "Sir, where I go or do not go when I die is none of your concern," and closed the door. Funny thing was, I can see out the bdrm window from the kitchen and had seen them come around the corner. Now I've got a pentagram suncatcher in the bdrm window, a pentagram windchime on the porch, a Green Man in the kitchen window (not that they knew what it was), and was watching a program on the Free Masons!! Not whatcha call a "Christian" household!

There's a thread on this subject in another group I belong to and one of the ladies there has a sign up that says, "The witch is in and she's casting spells." Thinking of using it.

[Slave to the Phone]

Hand them a tract about the Almighty Cthulhu next time.

Curses on you! I wanted to be first.

*looks at username, retracts curses*

I actually carry a couple of those in my bag. I politely trade with people.

Me: Oh, thank you. *looks at cover* I promise to read this as soon as I have a moment to properly appreciate it. (this means I will read the best parts out loud to a bunch of drunk bikers just to watch them fall over laughing, but I'm evil that way) Here's something I think you might find interesting. *hands over 3-folded copy*

Generic them:

[Moirae]

lol. I made the mistake of telling some mormons that I'm Wiccan once. We were on the street downtown (they picket the downtown bus stops so they can preach to everyone that gets off the buses) and ended up with 5 of them following me down the street preaching loudly.

I finally had to threaten to call the cops if they didn't back off. It was only then that they left me alone though they yelled it at me as I walked away.

Apparently they figured that I needed to be saved.

[repsac]

Longtime lurker on here, poster on a few stories on the old board.


I don't have a JW story to share, so much as just minor observations.

1.) If you ever travel around Brunswick georgia, look for Jesus. Yeah, Jesus. There's some guy there that dresses up like him (or what he thinks Jesus should look like) and wanders about town carrying a cross. Thing is, supposedly the cross got heavy, because he's got wheels on it. Never spoke to him, but some that I know who have say he's warped. To say the least.

2.) One of my tricks, taken from a personal disability that can be used by others, is to stare at the person during their spiel. The whole time they're talking, I try my best to watch their lips and not their eyes. Why? Because, I'm deaf. Now, truth be known, I can hear some of what they say; but more often than not, I can't. So once they're done with their pitch I often wait a moment for them to look very confused at me. Nine times out of ten, they ask "Is something wrong?" to which I respond cheerily. "I'm deaf." Every so often, a smarta$$ will ask how I heard them. Most of the time they just yell "sorry" and leave.

3.) Keep those tracts. Why? Well they're VERY dated. It's fun to look at the stories there in, especially the baptist ones since they seem to be the worst. My favorite, actually has something of a story with it. Since it's god awful early here, I'll pass this on and crash.

Working in retail, I remember picking up these tracts that a local Baptist minister would leave behind. Well, this particular minister left one talking about how reading Harry Potter was the spawn of Satan. Furthermore, this minister had a get together at his church where they were going to preach, pray, and then have a huge bonfire. Now, I'm a Wesleyn Methodist. So, going to a Baptist bonfire is not a common thing. (Wesleyns are known for their mantra of "open hearts, open doors, open minds") Still, they were serving free food and I wasn't about to turn that down. Besides, a girl I was trying to get a date with would be there.

Well, long story short, it turns out the bonfire was actually a ton of Harry Potter books. That stack must have been eight feet tall when they set it ablaze. Now, I'm not sure what prompted me to do it, but I turned to that minister and asked him if he knew much about history. He gave me a funny look, but before he could say more, I said loud enough to carry. "You know. It's funny, but unless I'm sorely mistaken, didn't Adolf Hitler do the same thing to books that he felt were...oh what's the word?" looking back at the minister I finished. "Undesirable and corrupting of young minds?" Turning my back on them I walked off, heading to my car. As I did, the looks I got were of shock, disbelief, and more than one person looked physically ill. And no, I never got with the girl.

[Moirae]

rofl. Great come back.

[Worker-Intellectual]

The only time I ever got a pamphlet was in high school... since I had a speare next period and Star Wars Ep. 3 was coming out in a few days, we scanned the pamphlet and turned it into a Jedi pamphlet in paint.

[Acolyte]

I wonder if the assorted religious groups have a 'Non-(Religion)s SUCK!' forum, where they discuss sucky non-converts like ourselves...

[AFpheonix]

Perhaps, but I imagine they're praying for souls instead of just complaining

[Ryu]

nope
if there are them then its the extremists who go all out and usually dont take no easily

[kebable]

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