Stupid Questions

[AFpheonix]

My car's due for it's 60,000 mile checkup....maybe next week.

Sometimes, you can get away with some pretty naughty statements if you deliver it correctly. I manage to get away with a lot of crap with delivery with a smile and a laugh. Usually to coworkers though, rarely to customers.

Silly questions:
Do you sell aspirin/stool softeners/blah blah here?
No, we don't sell that sort of thing at this pharmacy.

Do you sell spackle?
Last I checked, this was The Pharmacy America Trusts, not freaking Lowe's.

[DigitalEyes]

Sometimes, you can get away with some pretty naughty statements if you deliver it correctly. I manage to get away with a lot of crap with delivery with a smile and a laugh.

That is so true. It's all in the delivery. It really isn't too hard to leave a customer wondering whether they've been insulted or just included in a great joke.

[tollbaby]

All of these fluids are colored differently to make it easier to identify them.

Dude! I love you! marry me? I am printing this whole post out to stick to my fridge

[Becks]

People asking where the pharmacy and/or customer service desk are...when they're standing right next to one of the other.

(They're located right across from each other, and both have HUGE signs...)

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I had a car that I had for 4 years and I never changed the oil after the first year.

Now before anyone freaks out, I saw on PBS's show Motorweek of a device that reroutes the oil filter and replaces it with a really awesome filter system. In stead of replacing the oil and filter every 3,000 miles, you open up the filter and replace the filter cartridge and drop in a fresh quart of oil.

In the three years until the car was destroyed by an out-of-control Geo Tracker during an ice storm, every time I checked the pil it looked as fresh and as honey brown as the day it was poured out of the bottle.

M

[Jester]

Damnit! I told you people that coke is murder on my sinuses.

That line could be taken SO wrong!

Do you have any plants that never need to be watered, don't need sunlight, and are always in bloom?

Yes. They’re called “plastic.”

Sometimes, you can get away with some pretty naughty statements if you deliver it correctly. I manage to get away with a lot of crap with delivery with a smile and a laugh. Usually to coworkers though, rarely to customers.

That is so true. It's all in the delivery. It really isn't too hard to leave a customer wondering whether they've been insulted or just included in a great joke.

I get away with murder with some of the things I say to customers. I have found, both talking to coworkers and customers, that I can say stuff that if anyone else said it, people would be offended, but somehow, out of my smartass mouth, it gets a laugh. There are times I am truly amazed with some of the shit I get away with.

But then….I rock!

[Noelegy]

These are some of the most stupid questions customers have asked me throughout the years. [snip]

In the auto repair shop I now run:

After diagnosis:

Me: Sir, you're rotors are so thin they are probably glowing red hot during regular use. Your rotors must be replaced before you lose your brakes altogether.
Customer: Can't you just throw some brake pads on it?! I heard about garages scamming sports car drivers but not family car owners!
Me: It's true. I'm insisting you replace your rotors and pads because you own a four door vehicle with two car seats in the back. If you had a two-seater I'd give you brake pads and NO warranty.
Customer: What do the doors have to do with the brakes???!!!
Me: Well, since you have a four door with two baby seats that, presumably, hold two babies I cannot, in all good conscience, allow you to use a brick wall to stop your car. ____

GREAT response!

This story made me think of a commercial for the "Just Brakes" franchise. I've never done business with them, but I despise their commercials. They always consist of a dingy-sounding woman who calls up and asks an obvious question, giving the JB "employee" a chance to do his spiel. The female caller can't believe it's such a good deal, and she always says the same thing: "Why do you do it, Just Brakes?" and the jingle goes, "At Just Brakes we really do care!"

I usually compose a sarcastic reply in my head for the guy who answers the phone: "Because we're a business. We like to make money."