What She Told Me is Too Hard! (Long)

[mintjam]

Before I get started on this story, I just want to say that I've been lurking here for a long time (my first post!) and you guys are all great. Your stories keep me laughing and remembering that I'm not the only one dealing with the SCs out there!

So, on to my story. I work as a "lab consultant" at a university library; it's a fancy title for a lab monitor - I fill printers, answer simple questions, and get annoyed by people that I thought would be smarter, being at a university and all.

Yesterday, I had a doozy. Woman approaches my desk, peers at the sign ("The lab consultant is in!"), looks at me, at the sign, and then finally asks if I can help her. Probably not... but I say yes and we walk to her computer.

CL = Clueless Lady
Me = Me, obviously
RL = The halpless Reference Librarian that gets caught up in it all

CL: My PDF isn't printing right. Look, the print out is really light.
Me: (after looking at the printouts) Let me check the printer. (I check the printer... toner is fine, so it's not a problem with the toner.) Let's look at the document...

Turns out the PDF is a bad scan of a magazine... where many parts are washed out... thus they're going to print lightly. There's nothing I can personally do to fix this, and I tell her so.

CL: That's okay. I'll just e-mail it to myself, then I can read it at home!
Me: Okay. (starts to walk away)
CL: Can you show me how?
Me: Okay. Log into your email...
CL: Okay (does so)

We set it up, and go to attach the file... and it's too big! I explain to her why she cannot send it using her email account.

CL: Then how can I get it at home?
Me: We have a system called MyDisk...

This system allows a user to save files on our server and then, with a simple log in, retrieve them from ANYWHERE. The log in is the same as her email... which is also the same thing she needed to log onto the computer in the first place. She KNOWS what this username is. I spend 10 minutes explaining this to her. Finally she seems satisfied.

As I leave to do my hourly rounds to check the printers and the copiers, I see CL pestering RL about how to email a file. I scoot and head upstairs, hoping CL will be gone when I get back.

No such luck.

RL is waiting for me and directs CL to me, again. Before either RL or myself can say anything CL blurts out...

CL: What she told me was too hard!
RL: (barely containing laughter, especially funny from a woman that never laughs at patrons) Then I suppose we can't help you, can we?

I started snickering. I love it when the librarians back me up. And what is this lady going to do? Get me fired? We're short staffed as it is and because I can actually do my job, my boss loves me and isn't going to fire me.

[BookstoreEscapee]

OK, if she gave me her login and password, *I* could probably log into the system just from what you wrote here...

[IT Grunt]

So, on to my story. I work as a "lab consultant" at a university library; it's a fancy title for a lab monitor - I fill printers, answer simple questions, and get annoyed by people that I thought would be smarter, being at a university and all.

I feel your pain. I worked in my college's computer lab for my work study, and that was pretty much the same duties I had. Keep the printer full, fix problems with the PCs, and answer questions. NON-homework related, that was the stipulation. You wouldn't believe how many people tried to get me to do their homework for them by phrasing it as a question about a PC problem.

That story sounds like some of the people I had come through my lab. One that makes me snicker thinking about it even today:

A guy comes into the lab and sits down at one of the machines. For about ten minutes, he pokes around in the File Manager (these machines still had Windows 3.11 on 'em). Finally, with a look of total confusion, he comes and gets me.

Him: I can't find the file I saved.
Me: Ok. Do you remember where you saved it?
Him: To my hard disk.
Me: Alrighty. Is this the same PC that you used last time?
Him: Yeah, it was this one.
Me: Ok, we should be able to search for it. What was the filename.
Him: Termpaper.doc
Me: <searches... nothing> It's not showing up on the system. Are you sure that is the right filename?
Him: Oh yes, I'm sure.
Me: Ok. Are you sure it was this PC?
Him: Yes, I'm sure it was this one.
Me: Ok. You're certain it was to the hard disk, right?
Him: Yeah, it goes in here. <points to the 3 1/2" floppy drive>
Me. Oh.... you mean you saved it to a floppy. Do you have it with you?
Him: No, it's back in my room. Do I need it?
Me: <biting back laughter> Yep... you'll need it. If I'm still here when you come back I'll help you find it, ok?
Him: Ok. Thanks dude.

That was the most memorable one. The guy wasn't sucky about it or anything. I knew the guy wasn't sure of his terms, but I couldn't help but find it funny that he thought you didn't need the disk to retrieve files from it. This one was related to me by a co-worker:

There are signs on every wall, such that no matter where you are in the lab you can see them, that state in BIG BOLD LETTERS: SAVE YOUR WORK! The rest of the sign read: "It is recommended that you save your work every couple of pages while you are writing your papers. We are not responsible for lost work due to computer failures, power outages, etc."

So, one day, this girl is writing a 14 page term paper, and she didn't save a single letter of it. Just as she's about to finish it... bloop! Power failure. At this point, she went mega-SC. She got into my co-workers face, spitting with anger as she yelled at the top of her lungs, "YOU are going to re-write ALL 14 PAGES of my term paper, because YOU made me lose it!" He simply shrugged, pointed at the sign, and told her to take it up with the power company.

[mintjam]

I feel your pain. I worked in my college's computer lab for my work study, and that was pretty much the same duties I had. Keep the printer full, fix problems with the PCs, and answer questions. NON-homework related, that was the stipulation. You wouldn't believe how many people tried to get me to do their homework for them by phrasing it as a question about a PC problem.

I have that problem too. I'll help them figure out how to use word/excel/power point if they don't know what they're doing... but I will not, CANNOT do the assignment for them. Ever. I don't want to be kicked out for violating academic integrity policies.

[scary cary]

oh man i know it sucks for the girl writing that paper. but then again if you've got signs.... ehh, we all know SC's never read.

[Horsetuna]

Anyone remember Wordperfect? I remember 3.1 and how it autosaved every few minutes for you. I miss that feature...

[Gurndigarn]

Anyone remember Wordperfect? I remember 3.1 and how it autosaved every few minutes for you. I miss that feature...

The feature I found somewhat... eerie, though really nice? Rebooting my computer after a powerdown and getting a message along the lines of "You were working on this file before power was interrupted. Would you like to restore it?"

[EmiOfBrie]

Makes me remember back in my college days...

I was in a Mac (Centris 610) computer lab working on one of my Smalltalk assignments, when the student next to me experienced a crash just as she finished her research paper.

Back then, the computers were running MacOS 7.1p (the version just before the then-revolutionary MacOS 7.5 ), and MacOS at the time was a major crash whore, so Mac crashes were a way of life basically.

She was distraught and decided to call the on-duty lab support tech, who proceeded to tell her that her document was lost. She was crying when she got back to her seat, "bomb" icon practically mocking her efforts.

I asked her what program she was using, she said it was WordPerfect.

I smiled, told her that WordPerfect auto-saves every so often, and told her to just turn the machine off then on again (the poor Mac was locked up so badly even Command-Control-Reset (Mac's soft-reset procedure at the time) wasn't rebooting it).

She did so, and I directed her to the Trash, inside was a folder named "Recovered Items from Centris 610", inside that were a few timestamped files. I directed her to the newest of them.

She opened it up, WordPerfect loaded it, and sure enough, all she lost were 2 lines of text that she gleefully retyped. I felt good that I was able to help her recover her paper.

And the reason why that same college refused to hire me onto their tech staff: "We don't want to show favoritism, so we try not to put too many Computer Science majors into the positions." Believe me, it showed!

[BookstoreEscapee]

And the reason why that same college refused to hire me onto their tech staff: "We don't want to show favoritism, so we try not to put too many Computer Science majors into the positions." Believe me, it showed!

Well, you can't have too many people who might actually know what they are doing.....there is a reason we called it the Helpless Desk.

I always saved my work. But one night my computer just up and died (yes, it was a Mac and yes it crashed all the time). My dad couldn't fix it over the phone. I was 2 paragraphs away from the end of my paper and had saved it all along the way but did not have a printout so I still had to rewrite the whole thing on my roomie's computer. And it was my own computer so I didn't have it on a floppy that I could take to the computer lab. Had to get an extension but I think the second version actually turned out better...

When I was a junior in college ('96) I took a Mac class (easy A and all that), and one of the programs we did was Hypercard. Does that make me old?

-ams-

[IT Grunt]

When I was a junior in college ('96) I took a Mac class (easy A and all that), and one of the programs we did was Hypercard. Does that make me old?

Guess I fall into the old category too. 95-96 was my Junior year as well. Our lab was split into two parts, one side Windows PC's the other side Macs. I had about the same amount of problems with both sides.

Biggest SC problems I had with our lab was with ID cards. The rule was, no ID, no lab. The idea was to prevent someone from walking in off the street and using the lab, and I actually caught one once. Carded him and he said he wasn't a student or faculty, so I had to kick him out.

Some memorable incidents:

This thin, tall girl comes in without an ID. She tries to weasel out of getting it, but I always stuck to my guns when it came to the rules. So she goes to get it, comes back with an ID of a short, heavyset girl. The credit these people gave my intelligence was insulting sometimes. I had to kick her out.

This one guy comes in without an ID. I turn him away. He comes back with an ID that isn't even close to his:

Me: "This isn't your ID, I can't accept it."
Him: "Sure it's mine."
Me: "I'm not stupid, buddy, this looks nothing like you."
Him: <in a threatening tone> "This is the ID I am giving you."
Me: "This is the ID I'm rejecting. Now get out. "

The guy left in a huff, and made it a point to harass me whenever he got the chance. Fortunately, he was a senior and I only had to deal with him for a few months, then he was gone.

This incident started my trend of letting /no one/ in the lab without an ID. A guy comes in, shows his ID, his buddy doesn't have one. I tell him he can sit with his friend, but he can't use the PC's. This was the Mac lab, so after a few minutes, I hear that tell-tale 'Bong!' as the PC turned on. I confronted him:

Me: "I said you can't use the PC, now turn it off."
Him: "What year are you?"
Me: "A freshman, why?"
Him: "Then shut up."

I called security, they escorted him out.

Seeing that I was the only lab assistant to actually enforce this rule (thank God my boss backed me up on every time I enforced it.), I earned the nickname of 'Hitler'. Flattering title, huh? </sarcasm>

[Pagan]

Anyone remember Wordperfect?

Whaddya mean "remember"? I'm using WordPerfect 12 right now! I think that's the latest one. Actually, I prefer it. What what really hilarious, my mom used to be the Admin to a Vice-Provost at NMSU. Whenever reports had to be submitted to the President's office from various department on campus, they were all callin' my mom for help. Why? The President's office used WordPerfect, they were all using Word, except for my mom!

I've got a better one: Anyone remember Lotus 1-2-3? I don't know what the NMSU Biology Dept did after I left. I did departmental billing and was the only one who could write formulas in it!

[draftermatt]

We had a lab aid in the Engineering lab (for engineering and Cad students only) who would kick us out when her shift ended at 5. Sign on the door said the lab was open till 10.

So we would wait 5 minutes then go back in. She never locked up. I finally complained to the head of the department, and he knew nothing about her. He didn't hire her. She even tried to kick his aid out once.

Even worse she would yell at us if we got a phone call, but she was free to chat.

Sorry for the OT but this reminded me of that witch.

[tollbaby]

Whaddya mean "remember"? I'm using WordPerfect 12 right now! I think that's the latest one. Actually, I prefer it. What what really hilarious, my mom used to be the Admin to a Vice-Provost at NMSU. Whenever reports had to be submitted to the President's office from various department on campus, they were all callin' my mom for help. Why? The President's office used WordPerfect, they were all using Word, except for my mom!

There's a 12???? I still use WP 8, and it's still loads better than Word I will NEVER submit. NEVER!!!!!!! Do you hear me, Bill Gates? :P

[mintjam]

Seeing that I was the only lab assistant to actually enforce this rule (thank God my boss backed me up on every time I enforced it.), I earned the nickname of 'Hitler'. Flattering title, huh? </sarcasm>

Last semester I earned a memorable title not fit for repeating because I wouldn't let the poor babies eat in the computer lab... despite ALL the signs that say "No food or drink in the lab". This semester I'm aiming for all the cell phone people that can't read the "Turn off your phone!" signs.

[Gurndigarn]

When I was a junior in college ('96) I took a Mac class (easy A and all that), and one of the programs we did was Hypercard. Does that make me old?

Hey! Hypercard was one kick-ass program!