CSR worty dirds and things I'm accused of doing...*SFW*

[skeptic53]

Dirty words from me, the lowly family doc:

"I cannot backdate a referral, you were supposed to see us first before seeing the specialist/PT/massage therapist"
"You cannot have referrals/refills/antibiotics/paperwork completed without being seen"
"I will not prescribe antibiotics for a cold"
"You can't play sports with a concussion/broken bone/raging fever"
"You don't need 3 months off work for a sprained toe"
"I will not prescribe narcotics/tranquilizers on demand or do early refills or replace "lost" prescriptions"
"I will not order $4,000 worth of lab tests recommended by your naturopath so that your insurance will pay for it (they mostly won't pay for it)".
"You don't need an MRI unless we need to determine whether surgery is indicated".
"I won't complete sports physical forms without doing the exam"
"You have diabetes, you need to be seen a minimum of twice a year, I won't do refills for an entire year"
"I will not participate in your battle with your ex-spouse over child custody by charting that they are parenting badly unless I observe it myself"
"If you are a female of child-bearing age with belly pain or symptoms I will do a pregnancy test regardless of how impossible it is that you might be pregnant" (I have personally diagnosed 3 immaculate conceptions)

[lobo65]

"The store is now closed"

"No, you cannot return this underwear that you have already worn"

"You cannot bring your parrot into the store"

I worked in a record store while finishing college years ago, and we once had a customer bring a mountain lion cub into the store.

[MoonCat]

Things I've been accused of:

- Hanging up on/disconnecting a customer (who is using a crappy cell phone that keeps dropping calls)
- "Losing" someone's ad (the computer system can do that, I can't)
- Being racist because I asked for prepayment (over the phone; no idea what his race is)
- Putting the wrong price in a customer's car ad (sorry, $2700 does not sound anything like $3600; just admit you want to lower the price or you got it wrong in the first place)

"Dirty" words/phrases:
- Sorry, I cannot transfer you to the publisher (his secretary, yes, him, no).
- Sorry, I cannot give you the personal phone number of the owner - even if I had it, which I don't
- No, we do not have a senior discount
- The charge for running a death notice is what it is. No, this is not "raping the public."
- I cannot tell you the name of the company that placed the blind box ad you're looking at.
- I cannot tell you the name of the person who placed the Valentine ad that you are convinced is intended for you.
- I cannot tell you how active of a gay community we have in town because I do not know--take the hint, OK?
- I cannot recommend another newspaper to you
- You cannot refer to craigslist or other competing media websites in an ad in our publication.
- You cannot "say anything you want" in your ad just because it's your ad. It's OUR paper and we make the rules, also we follow federal guidelines for certain things
- You cannot say "no children" in your apt. for rent ad. You also cannot say "employed only," "No welfare or Section 8", "no seniors," or reference any ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation or marital status.
- We cannot accept a death notice from you if the death was local and a local funeral home is involved.

I better stop now. I could go on and on....

[Ironclad Alibi]

otherwise known as words customers think are the oulest collection of words ever to be removed from your lips....

For some reason I was thinking this thread was going to about words like matriculation and proprioception.

[ShadowBall]

I have a couple dirty words too:

- "I have a contract for you to sign before I begin working on this project."

- "I require an up-front payment."

- "My rate is six dollars an hour." (The fact I have a rate at all is apparently offensive)

Let me tell you, nothing sends cheapskates and scammers (99 percent of all "want an artist" ads I respond to) running for the hills like uttering one of those phrases.

[Kristev]

The bathrooms are closed for cleaning right now. We have alternate bathrooms in the back.

[HappyFun Ball]

Dirty words:

"We closed a 1/2 hour ago"

"Bacon is not a free condiment"
"You are out of our area"

"We do not accept Bama cash (I still don't know WTF that is) or Dining Dollars.

Things I have been accused of:

Sitting in my car smoking before I take the food to the door (I don't smoke)

Answering the door with an alcoholic beverage in my hand (I don't drink)

Eating their food or drinking their soda.

Driving wrecklessly (The sign on my car suddenly turns my old POS Buick into a 4 wheeled, sports car death machine)

[BrenDAnn]

Things I've Been Accused of:
-Raising gas prices (I have no control over that, sorry)
-Overcharging people (No, I charge what I'm supposed to, sorry)
-Ringing things up wrong (No, the other stores/clerks are, not me)

Dirty Words I've Said:
-"No, I can't take your two party check."
-"No, you can't have day old doughnuts at 10pm at night. They're not a day old yet!"
-"No you can't have a discount on your food. It's not old."
-"No, I can't take your check, since it was just declined. I'll need other payment, please."
-"You can only write your check for $10 over the amount."
-"You can only get up to $20 cash back with your debit card"
-"Yes, you have to buy something to get cash back."
-"Yes, I really need your ID. Really. Yes, I'm serious."
-"Sorry, I can't sell these cigs/this beer to you since you don't have ID."
-"We can only take 10 or 12 bottles/cans at a time. Limited storage."
-"No, I can't give out rolls of quarters. Management rules."
-"You have to pay $x.xx for each extra topping you get on your pizza."
-"No, I can't combine the monthly special with any other special. Corporate rules."
-"It's illegal in the state of Iowa to put lottery or lotto tickets on a credit card. Sorry."
-"No, we can't take that disposable camera back without a receipt. The store number on the sticker isn't even ours!"

[PepperElf]

- any attempt to transfer a ranting SC to the manager.

It's "dirty" because they want to take their anger out on someone, and how dare I resist being the punching bag.

(Even if they're demanding stuff only the manager can authorize)

[AccountingDrone]

Dirty words from me, the lowly family doc:


"If you are a female of child-bearing age with belly pain or symptoms I will do a pregnancy test regardless of how impossible it is that you might be pregnant" (I have personally diagnosed 3 immaculate conceptions)

I got pregnant after having a tubal ligation roughly a decade previously ...

I can categorically say that now it would be impossible for me to get pregnant... no ovaries

[Gidgetdigit]

"Your insurance does not cover this."

"No, I do not perform LASIK."

[Andara Bledin]

Driving wrecklessly (The sign on my car suddenly turns my old POS Buick into a 4 wheeled, sports car death machine)

This made me giggle. You want to drive wrecklessly, after all.

^-.-^

[Syriilord]

I can categorically say that now it would be impossible for me to get pregnant... no ovaries

*The day after writing this* Congratulations Ms. Drone: You're 3 weeks pregnant

[Cazzi]

I had to use some very rude and disgusting phrases in my last employment!

"Last orders please!"

"Sorry, the bar is now closed"

"Drink up please, it is time to leave!"

"Sorry, I can't sell any alcohol for take out at this time, it's against the law" (this was before the UK licensing laws had a refurb)

[PepperElf]

"If you are a female of child-bearing age with belly pain or symptoms I will do a pregnancy test regardless of how impossible it is that you might be pregnant" (I have personally diagnosed 3 immaculate conceptions)

once had to take a pregnancy test when I complained of a stomach ache and vomiting. turned out .... I had a stomach bug. but it was the command policy to pregnancy test because... a girl vomiting must be morning sickness.

then they changed policy - or wrote up a new one - dictating that all students from my school had to get a pregnancy test when they showed up for sick call. except they forgot to specify female. so technically they had to test the men too.