I'm a liar, unkind, unprofessional, a know-it-all, the usual

[Argabarga]

Wait, I've run into the female version of that guy! She complained to management that 'plainclothes security harassed her.' and she wanted to make a formal complaint about us. Apparently a customer who was just being nice let her know that if she parked in the fire lane she might get a ticket. OMG, that meant they must be security and she DID NOT appreciate being harassed! Oye. We where uniforms and don't patrol in our own vehicles; this guy was in his own car and everything!

Reminds me of the guy who called to complain that we were ticketing cars in the lot at his apartment and we had no right to do that, we were just a towing company, who did we think we were?! Especially when he had a permit.

I told him we didn't write tickets, he insisted we had, and had given him one for "no permit for lot" when he HAD a permit. I again told him we didn't give out tickets. It went back and forth for a bit before I asked him if the ticket came in an envelope. He said yes. I asked him to read it to me, he said it read "UNIVERSITY POLICE SERVICES"

Yes, he illegally parked, on campus, got a ticket, drove home with it stuck to his windshield, parked, went into his apartment, and didn't even notice it till' the next day. And when he did, he assumed it was from us....

I explained that likely scenario to him, only for him to deny he EVER ONCE drove onto campus, and wanted to know why WE were issuing tickets to people in his lot, and then putting the university police's name on them.......

I hung up quick... thankfully he didn't call back

[manybellsdown]

Well, aren’t you just a saint! And I don’t appreciate you being a know-it-all! It’s a shame you have NO idea how to be a professional!

It's shame you have no idea how to be a decent human being. Sir.

[Skelly]

Might I suggest a technique I use? (My Customer Service Fu is very strong!)

"I demand you apologize!"

"Very well; I'm sorry that you were incorrectly told that you could park there."

Et voilà! Apology without admission of fault!

Better: "I'm sorry that you are an idiot, I bet it must be terribly difficult, being an idiot in this world"

[Skelly]

Ahh yes, the Mysterious Someone strikes again.
Characteristics of the Mysterious Someone:
Always looks like in a position of authority.
Has no name, no ID, or credentials of any kind.
Is never seen more than once.
Is never seen by an actual employee.
Takes delight in giving incorrect information, either verbally, by moving signs, or through telepathic communication.
Never stays around to witness the fruits of his labor. May have spies to hidden cameras.

Whats not known is if Someone does this to annoy customers, or the poor employee that must deal with the backlash.

I've read that among cops, he's known as "Some Dude". He's the guy who put that rock of crack in the little angel's shoe, he owns the pants in which a gun with no serial number was found, he forgot his pot in the car, he's the guy who opened fire on those law abiding citizens who were sitting on their porch, studying the Bible at midnight. When necessary, he teams up with his friend Some Guy, usually when they beat someone up...because Some Dude is a coward who won't fight fair...

[Ellain]

Some Dude and Some Guy are also well known in emergency rooms, I hear.

"I was SOCMOB when Some Dude came up and punched me in the face!"

*Standing On Corner, Minding Own Business, FYI.

[Argabarga]

"Yo, Joe, I was like, minding my own business, when this bullet, like jumped up off the sidewalk... and drove itself right into my gut, about 3 or 4 times...."

*Checks off "Liquor Store Robbery" on admitting sheet*

[Mytical]

Ok..my mind is weird...when I first saw SOCMOB my first thought was..

Sitting on Couch Munching on Biscuits and the image of somebody just running in a door and punching somebody sitting on a couch flashed through my mind...

[Sapphire Silk]

I heard all of your responses in the most deadpan voice imaginable, Argabarga. Beautifully handled! I wonder if SC went after the guy that actually told him to park there too? Probably not.

Glad I'm not the only one

Some Dude and Some Guy are also well known in emergency rooms, I hear.

"I was SOCMOB when Some Dude came up and punched me in the face!"

*Standing On Corner, Minding Own Business, FYI.

You forgot the 2nd part: "And I only had two beers!"

[Shalom]

I explained that likely scenario to him, only for him to deny he EVER ONCE drove onto campus, and wanted to know why WE were issuing tickets to people in his lot, and then putting the university police's name on them.......

You know, I can imagine a scenario in which he could be correct: another tenant drove to campus, parked illegally, got ticketed, and when he got home he stuck the ticket on some random car's windshield, hoping that owner of said other car would just pay it without checking the plate number etc. to make sure that it was really his. It's been known to happen.

[NateTheChops]

"Yo, Joe, I was like, minding my own business, when this bullet, like jumped up off the sidewalk... and drove itself right into my gut, about 3 or 4 times...."

Doctor Nick: Save your lies for the police.