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Scam Me Once, Shame On Me. Scam Me Twice, I KEEL U!

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  • Scam Me Once, Shame On Me. Scam Me Twice, I KEEL U!

    (Recap - we are a virtual office/telephone answering service. We take all the customer calls, new orders and answer emails for OnlineShop.com. We used to send out the orders as well but that is a different story.)

    We got the following (i've edited personal details from the email) from a (possible) customer-

    17th Dec 2011 Mykeisha Gonzalez
    sexyladybewbs69@email.co.uk
    What do you Mean that u have the information ,,,look we are not turning around this Matter,,and this is not a cremin to buy your produts by mistake!!, as I've said I gonna send u the payment soon,,,,now f you can't wait !,do what you,,,is that makes you happy,, and you don't scare me soo,,, as long as I wii Pay the amount of products,, I have already the information to send to you payment,,,thank you


    1) We have not sent this person an email. At all. We only reply once we get an email. There are only 4 of us here, we all checked our email accounts to make sure. We have no idea what the hells she is talking about.

    2) This is an online shop. You go online, you add crap to the basket and you hit PAY. Then the goods are shipped out. NO. We will not send you stuff and you can pay us later on. WTF?

    We replied back asking for more information on the nature of her query. She never replied.

    NB - I did not edit the content of her email. What she sent is exactly what you see. Her name and email address were edited for her own privacy although that email addy is close in nature to what she had lol.

    I personally deal with emails in the same gawdawful english daily. I am now an expert at detecting when I am being yelled at by email.

  • #2
    English fail. Grammar fail. Making sense fail. Wow....

    ...and what the hell is "cremin"? I can't even tell what she was trying to say with that one...
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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    • #3
      Quoth MoonCat View Post
      ...and what the hell is "cremin"? I can't even tell what she was trying to say with that one...
      My guess is a misspelled 'crime'.
      I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

      Who is John Galt?
      -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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      • #4
        this is not a cremin to buy your produts by mistake!!

        This made my day. For some reason my brain has decided to say it in the same tone/voice as "Clean ALL the things!"

        Mora - two possibilities occur to me. Someone is spamming w/ your companies email or Ms. Broken English was going to write to you, put in the address, then saw something shiny and wrote a reply meant for another company.

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        • #5
          I wonder if Ms. Broken English is friends with Paul Cristoforo. They have the same style of writing emails, at least.
          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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          • #6
            and this is not a cremin to buy your produts by mistake
            I read "cremin" as "cremains".
            Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

            Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

            I wish porn had subtitles.

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            • #7
              I read it as Criminal.

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              • #8
                Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                I wonder if Ms. Broken English is friends with Paul Cristoforo. They have the same style of writing emails, at least.
                Winning!

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                • #9
                  I dunno if cremin..crime? First thought I had was Cremlin? Gremlin? Cream...yeah.

                  Someone I know writes like that. Yes. English is not her first language, and mix that with gangsta speak, you get her stuff. Bad horrid nasty punctuation, illeggieleiglble spelling, made-up words, the whole gambit.
                  Oh, and the person I know only types in caps. It hurts to read what she types. She does try. I will give her that. Still, I want to reach through the 'net and slap her a few times! Or send her the Netiquette stuff..but she won't read it.
                  In my heart, in my soul, I'm a woman for rock & roll.
                  She's as fast as slugs on barbituates.

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                  • #10
                    Look up Anus Laptops/ Scam baiter. That is pretty funny, its an oldie, but I enjoy giving it a read every now and then.
                    Last edited by HappyFun Ball; 12-29-2011, 08:12 AM.
                    http://www.customerssuck.com/?m=20080203

                    My destiny is not pretty, but it's what my cutie mark is telling me.

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                    • #11
                      If you have to decipher emails like that every day I salute you as I think I would end up throwing my computer out the window if it was me!
                      My Crafting Profile http://www.craftster.org/forum/index...ofile;u=139859

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                      • #12
                        Icon love!

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                        • #13
                          You win at teh internets!

                          Making me laugh out loud at work while im supposed to be doing work type crap makes me love you hardcore.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth MoonCat View Post
                            English fail. Grammar fail. Making sense fail. Wow....

                            ...and what the hell is "cremin"? I can't even tell what she was trying to say with that one...
                            I was thinking she was saying "Cretin", that she wasn't a cretin for ordering by mistake.

                            Maybe she ordered something by phone originally?

                            Bizarre, to say the least.
                            They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                            • #15
                              She never replied back. All orders - phone or internet go through the same website. No one by her name or email addy has ordered. No one emailed her and no one spoke to her (we log all calls).

                              She is batshit.

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