Customers put the F.U. in fun.

[ackmeow]

It's been a while. None of the stories I've gathered have warranted a new thread, but they've piled up to the point where I can create a list! Hooray!

But... But I...

"I lost? But why? It's been years since I've played? Why did I lose? It was my turn!"

This lady is looking left and right, her eyes tearing up. The expression on her face is a mixture of wrath and horror, the kind one gets if you're forced to watch a clown put a live puppy in a salami slicer. Sorry, lady. Cold Hard Math, the foundation of the universe doesn't make exceptions just because you took a break. In fact, I'm sure the lottery company is more inclined to say no BECAUSE you took a break instead of giving them your money.

Electric tickets?

(Man at self checker)

*Beep*

"F**k!"

*Beep*

"F**k!"

*Beep*

"F**k!"

"Sir?"

"I keep losing!"

...Okay, are you wired to receive an electric shock every time you lose? Is it wired to your tingly bits, cause every time you say the F-word, you jump. Kinky stuff you have there, sugarduff. Is this a new training regiment to stop you losing, or is this some weird sex tape you and your wife are making? I forgot to wear my black plastic thong to work, so you'll forgive me if I'm inappropriately dressed.

It's too cold to dress like that!

This isn't entirely work related but It happened as I was coming in to work so it kinda counts.

I grew up in CrapIt'sCold North ontario, and as a result am fairly immune to the lukewarm winters south ontario offers. I still wear shorts and t-shirts in winter. One polar bear of a man noticed me coming into work wearing the above and began to chastise me on my dress code. Ok, sure it's not exactly fashionable but it's my choice to wear what I want.

His quote, as far as I remember is as follows:

"What the hell are you doing, Kid? It's -10 below! It's too cold to wear that! Go back inside and put some proper clothes on or I'll give you a thumping!"

Um, Fashion police? Security? A man in 12 layers of clothes is threatening to thump me for looking out of place?


Ahh, Street slang.

We got awesome new black t-shirts to wear to work! I like them. My customers on the other hand...

"You look like a dork in that shirt."

A what? Do you know that "Dork" is slang for Penis? I look like a penis in this shirt? Wow. How about that. I look like a flaccid reproductive organ. Should I be honoured? I mean, If I look like a "Dork" as you so succinctly put it, then I'm the physical representation of one half of the objects that brought you into being.

Hmm... On second thought, I'm not honoured to be a part of that. You be the dork today.


SC do not care.

Over the last 2 days of work people have spilled drinks, vomited on the floor, thrown garbage all over the place and tossed full cups of sugar liquid at the trash and missed by feet. Not one of these spills were reported till about 15 minutes later/picked up or cleaned up by the offenders. Not one.

I mean, I can sorta understand you missing the trash can and not noticing but vomit? It's your body telling your brain it's had enough crunchy goat nipples and forcing you to relive your lunch in reverse. Painfully too I might add. How can you not notice that? It smells too!

You could at least have the decency to puke in a trash can. Or tell someone. Or not eat stuff that makes you sick, even if it tickles your taste good sensors.

[thehuckster]

It's too cold to dress like that!

"What the hell are you doing, Kid? It's -10 below! It's too cold to wear that! Go back inside and put some proper clothes on or I'll give you a thumping!"

Reminds me of a time I went on a trip to North Carolina from the northeast in winter. It was about 55 degrees, which was quite warm compared to the 20 degrees back home, and I was wearing a T-Shirt and shorts, and was still quite comfortable. Some guy was amazed at how much I tolerated this "freezing weather" asking where my coat and scarf were.

I told him I don't even think about wearing a coat until I can see my breath. He looked very confused. I don't think he's ever seen his breath before in his life.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I was always amused when I lived in Texas-- in Plano, a suburb of Dallas-- after growing up in Columbia, MD.

You could always tell the people in Plano who were "imports" like me from northern climes. If the weather dropped below 70F, the natives bundled up like it was subzero out. The imports wore t-shirts and shorts. And I would get odd looks from the natives, who would demand, "Aren't you freezing?!" And I would confusedly say, "...no?"

Mind you, I saw the best example one day when a "blue norther" swooped in. That's when a front blows in and the temperature drops at least 30 degrees. It had been in the 60s/70s that morning. When I left school that afternoon, there were snow flurries. I had to wait for my Mom to come pick me up for a doctor's appointment, and see this guy in shorts and a t-shirt, nonchalantly leaning against a post, unfazed by the temperature. When I asked about it, he said, "I'm from Minnesota. This is nothing."

[PepperElf]

i had coworkers who would get annoyed with me in virginia... because i would walk off the ship wearing tshirts while they were bundled in their parkas.

um. ok YOU'RE cold. I'm not. Why should I bundle up and sweat just to make you feel better? I'm from upstate NY and like snow.



and dork... i thought that was more specifically, whale penis... ?

[EricKei]

and dork... i thought that was more specifically, whale penis... ?

I do believe PE is right, but dinnertime approacheth, so there's no way I'm gonna go look it up just now ~_~ It certainly applies to that sort of customer, tho.

This weather thing is why I love and hate living in New Orleans...

LOVE:

- If there is ANY of that odd white stuff in the sky -- which usually melts by the time it hits the ground, the entire area grinds to a halt

- We refer to windbreakers as "winter coats"

- We refer to February as "the winter season"

- We can -- and probably should -- take bets on when we will actually get "winter" weather (read: high below 70F), when it begins (as soon as early October some years, as late as XMAS in others), how long it will last, etc.

HATE:

- The 85-100% average daily humidity that makes the summers unbearable ALSO makes the winters bite that much harder when it actually IS cold/windy and one is not wearing proper winter weather gear; at that point, windbreakers become utterly useless, as if you were wearing nothing but a t-shirt. That's right, we have armor-piercing humidity >_< Note that our idea of "HolyCrapIt'sCold" is anything that approaches freezing. Anything under that, and we're afraid to let the kids out of the house >_>

- The high temperature today was somewhere around 77F (95%ish humidity, and some light rain, of course). It's farking JANUARY! I was sweating while out driving in my car today until I rolled the windows up and turned on the A/C

- We don't get those pretty "autumn leaves turning red/yellow" at all most years, and it lasts maybe a scant few days other times; our non-evergreens essentially have two phases: green and dead. For all intents and purposes, we just have "late Summer" rather than "Fall"

[XCashier]

- We don't get those pretty "autumn leaves turning red/yellow" at all most years, and it lasts maybe a scant few days other times; our non-evergreens essentially have two phases: green and dead.

That's pretty much how it was in Phoenix Arizona, too. Then I moved to Oregon and was astonished at how many different colors the trees turned, and even multiple colors on the same tree!

Being a former Zonie, I am currently freezing when it's 40° F outside. Six months from now, my family back in AZ will be roasting in 115° F heat and I'll be enjoying nice 70° F weather, so it all evens out.

[ArcticChicken]

I told him I don't even think about wearing a coat until I can see my breath. He looked very confused. I don't think he's ever seen his breath before in his life.

This reminds me of visiting my Mom in Florida in January. I'm wandering around in at most jeans and a light sweater (if we're by the water) and I'm watching people wander around in full on parkas. Weirds me out.

[MoonCat]

Frankly, if it's minus ten, I, too, would not wear shorts and a t-shirt outside. But while I might wonder about somebody that did, I would never say anything to them. They wanna risk frostbite, their business. Besides, if you're just going from house to car and from car into work, you're only outside for a couple of minutes at a time.

People around here really don't care how cold it is, mostly. I've seen people running through slushy parking lots in February, wearing shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops. Today it was nearly 50 degrees out, then it's going to be in the 20's in a day or 2....craziest winter in a long time.

[Mike Taylor]

This reminds me of visiting my Mom in Florida in January. I'm wandering around in at most jeans and a light sweater (if we're by the water) and I'm watching people wander around in full on parkas. Weirds me out.

Stay down here (South Florida) long enough without dealing with the cold and your blood thins out.

[BrenDAnn]

This whole thread reminds me of a frequent conversation between one of my best friends and me. She lives in NC, I live in IA. the following often ensues over the phone/IM:

Her: It's cold here!! Brrr!
Me: Oh? What's the temp?
Her: *some odd temp in the 50s*
Me; Yeah... It's in the 30s/20s/teens/below zero here.
Her: Well this is cold for me, but...dude...that's cold!

I love her dearly, and it's actually funny. It's almost gotten to the point where I don't have to say anything. She just says "well, yknow, cold for me, here..." and that's that.

[AmethystSquirrel]

The snow reminds me of DH being stationed in SC. It started to barely snow. It wasn't sticking to anything but pretty little dust falling. We got pulled over not knowing there was a Driving ban. The cop was calling us hooligans etc. THEN he looked at our ID stating Buffalo NY. Then he called us wiseasses and told us to go home and stop hot dogging around.

[Teskeria]

I'm From Boston (so is my Mom). My mom considers 32 F (freezing point of water, mind you) comfortably warm. shorts and tshirts weather actually. (and no not menopause related. She has considered that warm since I was a baby in her 20's)
I on the other hand prefer 60-85 degrees f.

[DeltaSierra]

HATE:

- The 85-100% average daily humidity that makes the summers unbearable ALSO makes the winters bite that much harder when it actually IS cold/windy and one is not wearing proper winter weather gear; at that point, windbreakers become utterly useless, as if you were wearing nothing but a t-shirt. That's right, we have armor-piercing humidity >_< Note that our idea of "HolyCrapIt'sCold" is anything that approaches freezing. Anything under that, and we're afraid to let the kids out of the house >_>

Humidity is what makes winters on the BC coast "bite" more than much colder weather to the North and in the Interior. I grew up in the Interior, and we walked to school/played outside in -20 °C and didn't blink an eye - it was DRY snow, and little wind. Here on the coast, when it hits -10 we're freaking miserable because its so wet and damp and windy and the cold seems to cut through you like a knife.

[Argabarga]

I was walking around town in September (Central PA) and it was about 55-50 out, guy got off a tour bus that had just driven up from Florida and looked at me in my pants and Hawaiian short sleeve shirt and demanded to know how I could 'handle the cold'

I told him "this isn't cold, this is fall, come back in February when it's 10 degrees and blowing snow"

He looked positively shocked that it could get COLDER than 50 degrees outside of a laboratory setting

[ArcticChicken]

Stay down here (South Florida) long enough without dealing with the cold and your blood thins out.

Oh, I know. My mom grew up in Miami, she was always threatening to move back to Florida the moment us kids graduated High School. She followed through.