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So Ends Another Week ( Yay~ )
Huzzah! Another week over ( Thank Buddha, Jeebus, God, Allah, Quan Yi and anyone else I forgot. )
On with the show....
How to Get Too
( Name's changed of course )
Me: "Good evening, Bob's pager."
SC: "Hi, I'm looking for the custodian."
Me: "This is Bob's pager."
SC: "Can I talk to custodial?"
Me: "This is Bob's pager."
SC: "Do you know where I can find custodial?"
Me: "No, sorry. This is just labeled Bob's pager."
SC: "How can I reach Bob?"
I think I've given you more then enough hints to work worth already Sherlock. Perhaps you should sit down and try to solve this mystery yourself. If you're really stumped maybe I can help you out……see I was once like you: Still learning, struggling with the world around me. Back when I was around your intellectual level there was one man who helped me along. If I remember right his name was Grover.
I trust I don't have to tell you how to get to Sesame Street.
Financial Crisis
Omigod! The machine ate your $4! Oh noez, whatever will you do? I mean $4, damn, that’s a lot of money! What's that, like half your rent?
Financial Crisis 2
( Not even 5 minutes later, different caller. )
"Yeah, I got a message on ma machine to call back <clientname> at this number."
…and 1am struck you as the best time to undertake this endeavor? Damn, must be important! How much did YOU lose? $5? $6? Wait, $7!?! Oh dear, there goes junior's college fund!
Orderlines
<twitch> This is all the same call….
(this is a woman just to make the first part more confusing)
Me: "What's your first name?"
SC: "Norm"
Me: "Norm?"
SC: "Norma"
Me: "Norma…?"
SC: "Norm!"
Me: "…can you spell it for me?"
SC: "N-O-E-L, Norma."
Me: "……"
Geez, you barely made it through the first question and you don't know how to pronounce your own name. This doesn't bode well…..somehow I feel the next 3 minutes of both of our lives will be full of confusion and despair.
Me: "-and your postal code?"
SC: "E0L xxx"
Me: "E0L?"
SC: "E0L"
Me: "That's not coming as a valid postal code. Are you sure its E0L?"
SC: "Yeah, D0L"
Me: "…D0L? D as in David?"
SC: "Yeah, D0L"
Me: "D0L?"
SC: "B0L"
Me: "…B as in boy?"
SC: "Yeah."
( Yes, she really was changing letters. I listened to the call again >< )
Dammit, PICK A LETTER. I know there's a lot of them which might confuse some people such as yourself ( You know, people with the IQ of roofing tiles. ) but its not that hard. If you're really stumped turn the bloody catalogue over and read your address off of it for me. Save us both the trouble. Heck, go down to the shore, fill your socks with as much gravel, loose change, rusty nails, maybe a bike rack, etc that you can find then throw yourself off the pier. That'll save me and many other people in both the immediate and distance future the trouble.
Me: "I only have that item in green."
Me: "Do you have it in grey?"
What did I just say? "Only" rules out all other possibilities. There are no other options. None. Zilch. Zero. Much like your career options outside of "waste of air".
I take solace in the fact you'll probably suffocate yourself trying to pull on the shirt you just ordered.
867!?!!
Here we go again.
Me: "and your phone number?"
SC: "xxx-xxxx"
Me: "and the area code?"
SC: "Area code? What's that? I forgot….."
Me: "The first 3 numbers of your phone number."
SC: "Oh, uh, 867." ( Watch out boys & girls! Danger! Danger! )
Me: "Ok, and what's your postal code?"
SC: "PO Box xx"
Me: "No, your postal code."
SC: "Uh, what's that? I forgot…." ( I sense a pattern… )
Me: "Its part of your address."
SC: "Oh, uh…xxx xxx"
Sure he may be sitting on the floor in his underwear, surrounded by beer bottles and trimming his toenails with a steak knife while savoring a diet of model glue, Doritos and anti-freeze….but hey! At least he's honest!
What did he want you ask? Hats of course. Tons of hats. 5 hats to be exact. I'm really starting to wonder what it is about Nunavut and hats. I'm beginning to suspect they don't actually know you're suppose to wear them on your head. Instead they're using them for some sort of Red Green like purpose such as an oil filter for their snow mobile or maybe some sort of diaper/butt warmer for their sled dogs.
Diplomatic Relations
( He's calling a certin US government office in Vancouver... )
I do not believe we can assist you in renewing your Danish passport. But I do applaud your valiant attempt.
Not Again
Me: "Your confirmation number is M as in Mary, D as in David-"
SC: "B?"
Me: "D, as in David."
I know they sound alike, that’s why I'm giving you all these hints. Please accept them and carefully piece together the staggering mystery that is the English language. It may take you a while but that's ok, I can hold.
Hotel Reservations....
Me: "Good evening, <clientname>, are you calling to book a room?" ( Note the question, this becomes important shortly. )
SC: "Hi, I missed my flight and-"
( Ok I'll admit at this point I sort of zoned out and everything he said sounded like a donkey braying )
Me: "Alright, what city are you in?"
SC: "Denver, Colorado."
Me: "Denver?"
SC: "No, Las Vegas."
Me: "….Right…ok, I can put you at Hotel Name in for $70"
SC: "You mean I have to pay $70 more for the flight?"
Me: "Flight? I only handle hotel rooms."
SC: "I need a flight to ( donkey braying )"
Me: "I'm sorry, but I only handle hotel rooms here. I have nothing to do with flight information."
SC: "But I need a flight-"
Me: "I have no flight information. I only book hotel rooms."
SC: "I still need a flight to ( donkey braying )"
Me: "I have absolutely nothing to do with air travel. I only deal with hotels."
SC: "Where can I book a flight?"
Me: "I don't know, I don't handle air travel."
SC: "Oh, you only hotels."
Me: "Yes!"
SC: (donkey braying)"
How did you even manage to book a flight to begin with let alone find your way onto the airplane? Or did you stumble drunkenly onto the tarmac and fall into the cargo hold before the ground crew noticed you? I really curious here. From my point of view I just can't comprehend how you manage to function in daily life and not be hit by a bus or something. Or maybe your life is just one huge Mr Magoo sequence where you narrowly and unknowingly avoid death every few minutes in a comedic fashion.
Sympathy Card
SC: "This were I call when I don't get no receipt from ya'll ATM machine?!"
Me: "We handle bill payment kiosks, not ATMs."
( I knew before the words even left my mouth that explaining was futile trying to explain but I just couldn't stop myself)
SC: "A wha?"
Me: "Ok, did you pay your bill at a machine?"
SC: "Yeah."
Me: "Ok, w-"
SC: "I paid my bill in ya'lls machine and it didn't get no receipt an the payment ain't gone through yet-"
Me: "O-"
SC: "and I got little kids at home that need a phone!!!!"
Your "little kids" desperately require a phone do they? Stretching a bit much aren't you? Its nice of you to try and play the Sympathy Card right from the get go except that was like whipping out the Ace of Hearts during a Chess game and declaring victory. Pointless, futile and it just makes your opponent think you're a complete farkwit.
They "need" this phone so much you waited till the day your bill was due to pay it at 4am in some grubby gas station? Mhmm, ok.
Tech Support
Me: "Ok, and do you have the serial number?"
SC: "I have my serial number and my home phone number."
One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just isn't the same. ( Hah, that's two Sesame Street references in two days! I am unstoppable~ )
Well, That Was New
Me: "<client's name>s office"
SC: "Hi, is this <client's name>?"
Me: "Pardon?"
SC: "Is this <client's name>?"
Me: "This is his afterhours service."
SC: "Oh, sorry, wrong number <click>
Me: "…."
Wow, that’s new. I've had wrong numbers that don't catch on that they have the wrong number but I've never had anyone not catch on that they have the right number. That, my friend, takes true talent. I salute you.
Airlines
Oh dear lord. An airline agent put me on hold for a moment but she didn't have on hold music….she had on hold commercials. I had to listen to it talk about juicy lean chicken and turkey strips coated in whole wheat bread crumbs. It assured me it was "servin up good times" and then, because this is Canada, I had to listen to it all again in French. (sob). Why would you do that? Why? Its annoying enough being on hold. But to have to listen to commercials too? Have you no pity?
I dunno who Nutrigo is but someone on their marketing team needs to be kicked in the groin. By a donkey.
Tech Support
( after a lengthy "discussion" about how I could not in fact add minutes to his cell phone from here. Its simply not technologically possible and I'm not even his cell phone company so I have NO access to his cell phone account whatsoever. )
SC: "I want to speak to your supervisor!"
Me: "I am the supervisor currently."
SC: "I want to speak to your supervisor!" ( Ah yes, repitition = victory? )
Me: "I am the supervisor." ( I can do that too! )
SC: "Oh, ok. What's your name?"
Me: "Gravekeeper"
SC: "Last name?"
Me: "I don't give that out. However, my operator ID is xxxx"
SC: "Alright. F**K YOU! <click>"
-and the first "F**K YOU" of the evening has officially been register. Thank you to everyone who participated but we do in fact have a winner! If you'll just step this way and claim your prize we can get right to shoving you blindfolded into a busy intersection. Runners up will will receive a complimentary smack upside the head with the closet object available…..which would be…lets see…..a stapler. I know its small, but its heavy and if you want I can apply multiple blows. In fact, please, let me apply multiple blows.
That Really Helped
Me: "and what city are you in?"
SC: "Houston."
Me: "Alright, at which airport?"
SC: "Uh…..the big one."
That helps, thank you. One moment, perhaps if I'm lucky I can get a rough idea by comparing them with Google Earth.
Left Field
SC: "What was the name of it?"
Me: "The Quality Inn"
SC: "The Metropolitan?"
Alright, I think we're taking part in two entirely different conversations here. I don't know who or what you think you're talking to, but please tell them to hold for a moment and resume speaking to me. It'll go faster that way I assure you.
Argh!
Me: "<clientname>, are you calling to book a room?"
SC: "No, I'm calling about my luggage."
Then I would submit you're about to taste the bitter, salty, beef jerky like taste of failure. Unfortunately for you there is but two options on the list of services I can provide and your luggage isn't one of them. Nor can I pencil it in. You see it’s a rather short list and there's not enough space left under "Book hotel rooms" and "Bludgeon about the head and neck with a stapler". If you like I can offer the latter service free of charge.
Again with the B!
Me: "Your confirmation number is M as in Mary, D as in David-"
SC: "M-B"
Me: "No, D, as in David."
SC: "B?"
Me: "D, as in David."
SC: "B as in baliff?"
Me: "No, D as in David."
d, D, D! D as in "Dammit, listen when I speak!" or "Dumbass, pay attention!".
7/11...
( From the 4 girls ahead of me in line at 7/11... )
Girl 1: "We are so prostitutes!"
Girl 2: "No way, that’s too big a word. It's hard to remember!"
Girl 3:"Yeah! We're sluts. That's easier."
I believe “ho” is even shorter and easier if we’re really going for broke here.
867....
Me: "and would you like to order anything else?"
SC: "No, that’s all."
Me: "Alright, by Credit Card or CoD?"
SC: "CoD"
Me: "Ok, the total comes to xxx and it should take about 2 weeks."
SC: "Ok, can I place another order?"
Me: "……alright."
SC: "Different name, same address and phone number."
Me: "….if you place a separate order you'll have to pay additional shipping charges. Are you sure you don't want to just make them one order?"
SC: "Huh?"
Me: "It'll cost a lot more money to order them separately since you'll have to pay the CoD and shipping charge twice."
SC: "Uh…."
Me: "It's $36 per order."
SC: "Uh…..um…...nevermind, I'll call back and order it later."
In retrospect I should have used smaller words. Much much smaller words. Actually, perhaps I should have merely grunted and hooted in an alarming manner to warn you of impending danger. Then you could flee the house, climb onto the neighbour's roof and fling feces to warn the rest of the tribe.
Transcendence
SC: "Yeah, my friend used one of your machines to pay your phone bill and he put his number in wrong."
Me: "Ok."
SC: "So he paid someone else's bill. The machine was in English and he only speaks Spanish so he didn't understand. Can we get that fixed?"
Ok, let me get this straight:
#1) He was not only using a machine he could not understand but he was inserting a large money sum of money into a machine he could not understand and just hoping it would take that money and put it towards the purpose he intended?
#2) Obviously he knew where to input his phone number so I would submit he put in the wrong phone number because he's a moron, not because he doesn't speak English.
Stupidity transcends all language and cultures. It can also, regretfully, be carried over large distances by modern technology such as telephone.
Tool
SC: "Ya'll have anything ya could send me? Like a brocheer or a litrary tool?"
…a literary tool? Um…what exactly do you want me to send you? A dictionary? Are you sure? Its a large, scary tome full of, what for you, may be truly daunting challenges.
Border Crossing
Caller's husband was refused entry to Canada due to a weapon's charge and an assault charge. Caller did not see what the big deal was and could not comprehend why us Canadians are making such a big deal out of it since her husband "already served parole" and "has a license to carry guns down here in Georgia.".
Why indeed! Just because he carries handguns around and has a prior record of not only beating people but also wandering outside of Georgia with the firearms in question, surely that’s not cause for alarm. By all means, welcome to our country. If you must shoot someone try not to hit a Tim Horton's at least.
(cont'd....too big again ><)
On with the show....
How to Get Too
( Name's changed of course )
Me: "Good evening, Bob's pager."
SC: "Hi, I'm looking for the custodian."
Me: "This is Bob's pager."
SC: "Can I talk to custodial?"
Me: "This is Bob's pager."
SC: "Do you know where I can find custodial?"
Me: "No, sorry. This is just labeled Bob's pager."
SC: "How can I reach Bob?"
I think I've given you more then enough hints to work worth already Sherlock. Perhaps you should sit down and try to solve this mystery yourself. If you're really stumped maybe I can help you out……see I was once like you: Still learning, struggling with the world around me. Back when I was around your intellectual level there was one man who helped me along. If I remember right his name was Grover.
I trust I don't have to tell you how to get to Sesame Street.
Financial Crisis
Omigod! The machine ate your $4! Oh noez, whatever will you do? I mean $4, damn, that’s a lot of money! What's that, like half your rent?
Financial Crisis 2
( Not even 5 minutes later, different caller. )
"Yeah, I got a message on ma machine to call back <clientname> at this number."
…and 1am struck you as the best time to undertake this endeavor? Damn, must be important! How much did YOU lose? $5? $6? Wait, $7!?! Oh dear, there goes junior's college fund!
Orderlines
<twitch> This is all the same call….
(this is a woman just to make the first part more confusing)
Me: "What's your first name?"
SC: "Norm"
Me: "Norm?"
SC: "Norma"
Me: "Norma…?"
SC: "Norm!"
Me: "…can you spell it for me?"
SC: "N-O-E-L, Norma."
Me: "……"
Geez, you barely made it through the first question and you don't know how to pronounce your own name. This doesn't bode well…..somehow I feel the next 3 minutes of both of our lives will be full of confusion and despair.
Me: "-and your postal code?"
SC: "E0L xxx"
Me: "E0L?"
SC: "E0L"
Me: "That's not coming as a valid postal code. Are you sure its E0L?"
SC: "Yeah, D0L"
Me: "…D0L? D as in David?"
SC: "Yeah, D0L"
Me: "D0L?"
SC: "B0L"
Me: "…B as in boy?"
SC: "Yeah."
( Yes, she really was changing letters. I listened to the call again >< )
Dammit, PICK A LETTER. I know there's a lot of them which might confuse some people such as yourself ( You know, people with the IQ of roofing tiles. ) but its not that hard. If you're really stumped turn the bloody catalogue over and read your address off of it for me. Save us both the trouble. Heck, go down to the shore, fill your socks with as much gravel, loose change, rusty nails, maybe a bike rack, etc that you can find then throw yourself off the pier. That'll save me and many other people in both the immediate and distance future the trouble.
Me: "I only have that item in green."
Me: "Do you have it in grey?"
What did I just say? "Only" rules out all other possibilities. There are no other options. None. Zilch. Zero. Much like your career options outside of "waste of air".
I take solace in the fact you'll probably suffocate yourself trying to pull on the shirt you just ordered.
867!?!!
Here we go again.
Me: "and your phone number?"
SC: "xxx-xxxx"
Me: "and the area code?"
SC: "Area code? What's that? I forgot….."
Me: "The first 3 numbers of your phone number."
SC: "Oh, uh, 867." ( Watch out boys & girls! Danger! Danger! )
Me: "Ok, and what's your postal code?"
SC: "PO Box xx"
Me: "No, your postal code."
SC: "Uh, what's that? I forgot…." ( I sense a pattern… )
Me: "Its part of your address."
SC: "Oh, uh…xxx xxx"
Sure he may be sitting on the floor in his underwear, surrounded by beer bottles and trimming his toenails with a steak knife while savoring a diet of model glue, Doritos and anti-freeze….but hey! At least he's honest!
What did he want you ask? Hats of course. Tons of hats. 5 hats to be exact. I'm really starting to wonder what it is about Nunavut and hats. I'm beginning to suspect they don't actually know you're suppose to wear them on your head. Instead they're using them for some sort of Red Green like purpose such as an oil filter for their snow mobile or maybe some sort of diaper/butt warmer for their sled dogs.
Diplomatic Relations
( He's calling a certin US government office in Vancouver... )
I do not believe we can assist you in renewing your Danish passport. But I do applaud your valiant attempt.
Not Again
Me: "Your confirmation number is M as in Mary, D as in David-"
SC: "B?"
Me: "D, as in David."
I know they sound alike, that’s why I'm giving you all these hints. Please accept them and carefully piece together the staggering mystery that is the English language. It may take you a while but that's ok, I can hold.
Hotel Reservations....
Me: "Good evening, <clientname>, are you calling to book a room?" ( Note the question, this becomes important shortly. )
SC: "Hi, I missed my flight and-"
( Ok I'll admit at this point I sort of zoned out and everything he said sounded like a donkey braying )
Me: "Alright, what city are you in?"
SC: "Denver, Colorado."
Me: "Denver?"
SC: "No, Las Vegas."
Me: "….Right…ok, I can put you at Hotel Name in for $70"
SC: "You mean I have to pay $70 more for the flight?"
Me: "Flight? I only handle hotel rooms."
SC: "I need a flight to ( donkey braying )"
Me: "I'm sorry, but I only handle hotel rooms here. I have nothing to do with flight information."
SC: "But I need a flight-"
Me: "I have no flight information. I only book hotel rooms."
SC: "I still need a flight to ( donkey braying )"
Me: "I have absolutely nothing to do with air travel. I only deal with hotels."
SC: "Where can I book a flight?"
Me: "I don't know, I don't handle air travel."
SC: "Oh, you only hotels."
Me: "Yes!"
SC: (donkey braying)"
How did you even manage to book a flight to begin with let alone find your way onto the airplane? Or did you stumble drunkenly onto the tarmac and fall into the cargo hold before the ground crew noticed you? I really curious here. From my point of view I just can't comprehend how you manage to function in daily life and not be hit by a bus or something. Or maybe your life is just one huge Mr Magoo sequence where you narrowly and unknowingly avoid death every few minutes in a comedic fashion.
Sympathy Card
SC: "This were I call when I don't get no receipt from ya'll ATM machine?!"
Me: "We handle bill payment kiosks, not ATMs."
( I knew before the words even left my mouth that explaining was futile trying to explain but I just couldn't stop myself)
SC: "A wha?"
Me: "Ok, did you pay your bill at a machine?"
SC: "Yeah."
Me: "Ok, w-"
SC: "I paid my bill in ya'lls machine and it didn't get no receipt an the payment ain't gone through yet-"
Me: "O-"
SC: "and I got little kids at home that need a phone!!!!"
Your "little kids" desperately require a phone do they? Stretching a bit much aren't you? Its nice of you to try and play the Sympathy Card right from the get go except that was like whipping out the Ace of Hearts during a Chess game and declaring victory. Pointless, futile and it just makes your opponent think you're a complete farkwit.
They "need" this phone so much you waited till the day your bill was due to pay it at 4am in some grubby gas station? Mhmm, ok.
Tech Support
Me: "Ok, and do you have the serial number?"
SC: "I have my serial number and my home phone number."
One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just isn't the same. ( Hah, that's two Sesame Street references in two days! I am unstoppable~ )
Well, That Was New
Me: "<client's name>s office"
SC: "Hi, is this <client's name>?"
Me: "Pardon?"
SC: "Is this <client's name>?"
Me: "This is his afterhours service."
SC: "Oh, sorry, wrong number <click>
Me: "…."
Wow, that’s new. I've had wrong numbers that don't catch on that they have the wrong number but I've never had anyone not catch on that they have the right number. That, my friend, takes true talent. I salute you.
Airlines
Oh dear lord. An airline agent put me on hold for a moment but she didn't have on hold music….she had on hold commercials. I had to listen to it talk about juicy lean chicken and turkey strips coated in whole wheat bread crumbs. It assured me it was "servin up good times" and then, because this is Canada, I had to listen to it all again in French. (sob). Why would you do that? Why? Its annoying enough being on hold. But to have to listen to commercials too? Have you no pity?
I dunno who Nutrigo is but someone on their marketing team needs to be kicked in the groin. By a donkey.
Tech Support
( after a lengthy "discussion" about how I could not in fact add minutes to his cell phone from here. Its simply not technologically possible and I'm not even his cell phone company so I have NO access to his cell phone account whatsoever. )
SC: "I want to speak to your supervisor!"
Me: "I am the supervisor currently."
SC: "I want to speak to your supervisor!" ( Ah yes, repitition = victory? )
Me: "I am the supervisor." ( I can do that too! )
SC: "Oh, ok. What's your name?"
Me: "Gravekeeper"
SC: "Last name?"
Me: "I don't give that out. However, my operator ID is xxxx"
SC: "Alright. F**K YOU! <click>"
-and the first "F**K YOU" of the evening has officially been register. Thank you to everyone who participated but we do in fact have a winner! If you'll just step this way and claim your prize we can get right to shoving you blindfolded into a busy intersection. Runners up will will receive a complimentary smack upside the head with the closet object available…..which would be…lets see…..a stapler. I know its small, but its heavy and if you want I can apply multiple blows. In fact, please, let me apply multiple blows.
That Really Helped
Me: "and what city are you in?"
SC: "Houston."
Me: "Alright, at which airport?"
SC: "Uh…..the big one."
That helps, thank you. One moment, perhaps if I'm lucky I can get a rough idea by comparing them with Google Earth.
Left Field
SC: "What was the name of it?"
Me: "The Quality Inn"
SC: "The Metropolitan?"
Alright, I think we're taking part in two entirely different conversations here. I don't know who or what you think you're talking to, but please tell them to hold for a moment and resume speaking to me. It'll go faster that way I assure you.
Argh!
Me: "<clientname>, are you calling to book a room?"
SC: "No, I'm calling about my luggage."
Then I would submit you're about to taste the bitter, salty, beef jerky like taste of failure. Unfortunately for you there is but two options on the list of services I can provide and your luggage isn't one of them. Nor can I pencil it in. You see it’s a rather short list and there's not enough space left under "Book hotel rooms" and "Bludgeon about the head and neck with a stapler". If you like I can offer the latter service free of charge.
Again with the B!
Me: "Your confirmation number is M as in Mary, D as in David-"
SC: "M-B"
Me: "No, D, as in David."
SC: "B?"
Me: "D, as in David."
SC: "B as in baliff?"
Me: "No, D as in David."
d, D, D! D as in "Dammit, listen when I speak!" or "Dumbass, pay attention!".
7/11...
( From the 4 girls ahead of me in line at 7/11... )
Girl 1: "We are so prostitutes!"
Girl 2: "No way, that’s too big a word. It's hard to remember!"
Girl 3:"Yeah! We're sluts. That's easier."
I believe “ho” is even shorter and easier if we’re really going for broke here.
867....
Me: "and would you like to order anything else?"
SC: "No, that’s all."
Me: "Alright, by Credit Card or CoD?"
SC: "CoD"
Me: "Ok, the total comes to xxx and it should take about 2 weeks."
SC: "Ok, can I place another order?"
Me: "……alright."
SC: "Different name, same address and phone number."
Me: "….if you place a separate order you'll have to pay additional shipping charges. Are you sure you don't want to just make them one order?"
SC: "Huh?"
Me: "It'll cost a lot more money to order them separately since you'll have to pay the CoD and shipping charge twice."
SC: "Uh…."
Me: "It's $36 per order."
SC: "Uh…..um…...nevermind, I'll call back and order it later."
In retrospect I should have used smaller words. Much much smaller words. Actually, perhaps I should have merely grunted and hooted in an alarming manner to warn you of impending danger. Then you could flee the house, climb onto the neighbour's roof and fling feces to warn the rest of the tribe.
Transcendence
SC: "Yeah, my friend used one of your machines to pay your phone bill and he put his number in wrong."
Me: "Ok."
SC: "So he paid someone else's bill. The machine was in English and he only speaks Spanish so he didn't understand. Can we get that fixed?"
Ok, let me get this straight:
#1) He was not only using a machine he could not understand but he was inserting a large money sum of money into a machine he could not understand and just hoping it would take that money and put it towards the purpose he intended?
#2) Obviously he knew where to input his phone number so I would submit he put in the wrong phone number because he's a moron, not because he doesn't speak English.
Stupidity transcends all language and cultures. It can also, regretfully, be carried over large distances by modern technology such as telephone.
Tool
SC: "Ya'll have anything ya could send me? Like a brocheer or a litrary tool?"
…a literary tool? Um…what exactly do you want me to send you? A dictionary? Are you sure? Its a large, scary tome full of, what for you, may be truly daunting challenges.
Border Crossing
Caller's husband was refused entry to Canada due to a weapon's charge and an assault charge. Caller did not see what the big deal was and could not comprehend why us Canadians are making such a big deal out of it since her husband "already served parole" and "has a license to carry guns down here in Georgia.".
Why indeed! Just because he carries handguns around and has a prior record of not only beating people but also wandering outside of Georgia with the firearms in question, surely that’s not cause for alarm. By all means, welcome to our country. If you must shoot someone try not to hit a Tim Horton's at least.
(cont'd....too big again ><)
*is Danish*
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