People are Dumb on Vacation

[BookstoreEscapee]

My ex and I get goofy and would probably say "meese" but we are both fully aware that it is not a word. We also say "boofalo" or "beefalo." Partly it comes from having a very small dog and the inclination to be cutesy when talking to/about him, and it kind of spills over. He loves the west and lived in Colorado as a kid, lived in Wyoming for 4 years as an adult, and took his mother's ashes to Yellowstone by himself because she wanted to be scattered there. Even though he mostly grew up in Staten Island and now lives in NJ.

"I hate meeses to pieces" (ok he's referring to mice but it fits)

[toomanycalls1]

My stories

I have friends who work for the Hilton downtown. During the Cubs convention people at the hotel for other things there is always someone who asks "Is there something going on to do with the Cubs here?"

No. There are always Cubs signs everywhere Cubs banners everywhere and people always come to the Hilton dressed up in Cubs regalia. And Cubs players always are at the Hilton 24/7. In fact the starting pitchers schedule is Day 1. Start. 2. throw from side. 3. bullpen workout. 4. Training regimen. 5. Hang out at Hilton.

If someone asked me how do I attract Bears I would answer "Do your hair really nice, put on some makeup and a nice outfit and hang out up in Lake Forest near where they work out"

[RentalRacer]

Ok so I had a doozy of a question yesterday that I had never heard and forgot to post it.

The one "Claim to Fame" my city has is that the writer Stephen King grew up here/lives here.

So it was flurrying out, and these people run up to me and ask

Is Stephen King writing a new book?
Me-I dunno-maybe.
Them-Well, its snowing out! We heard that when SK starts writing a new book, it snows!
Me-Are you serious?
T-Yeah! That is what we heard from our friends that visited here last year!
Me-Blank stare...

By far one of the most absurd things I have ever been asked.

[Tria]

I like Q&A.

When do the Moose turn into Elk?

They don't, now if you mean when do you stop seeing moose and start seeing elk....

Is that snow on top of the Mountains man-made? (asked all the time in the summer)
No.

Can I hunt in the National Elk Refuge?
Yes, you can, no you may not.

Can I swim in the Geysers (think Old Faithful)?
Yes, if you want to burn your reproductive organs.... Oh yes, jump in.... Let me help you not get shot out when it jets by tying a rock to your ankles....

How can I attract Bears?
Don't, we don't want to have to put down a beautiful animal because you're a fuctardian cumslut^TM.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Them-Well, its snowing out! We heard that when SK starts writing a new book, it snows!

Oh, so the weather around the country the last several weeks has been all HIS fault!!

[katie kaboom]

Well, its snowing out! We heard that when SK starts writing a new book, it snows!

So by that logic, he will never start writing a new book in the spring, summer, or fall. Stupid people make my head hurt.

[Noelegy]

Ok so I had a doozy of a question yesterday that I had never heard and forgot to post it.

The one "Claim to Fame" my city has is that the writer Stephen King grew up here/lives here.

And sets just about every single one of his books there. Don't get me wrong; I've read almost everything he's written, and I love his writing, and understand that you write what you know, but I'm pretty sure that weird/scary things happen in the REST of the country....?

[Cia]

[QUOTE=jnd4rusty;93102]

, that isn't the same concessions building like in the movie,


Actually if I recall correctly the concessions building that was in North by Northwest was the actual concessions building at Mt. Rushmore. They actually filmed in the dining room. Of course it does not exist now as they have done extensive remodeling, but when I worked there the same dining room was there.

Forget remodeling and go straight to demolished. What I meant was that touri who have seen NBNW expect to see the old concessions building but they get to see the new and uninspired new building. And then they complain.

Lets just say when all the buildings were demolished and new construction started life at work was hell. Bluelines? We don't need to follow the bluelines and <my company> wont mind having to give the electrical contractors 6M more cable then was specified in spec at no charge Although playing with the touch screen computer for the maintenance crew was fun. Getting the software loaded and up and running wasn't.

On a funny note. My Dad was in a theater in California watching NBNW and the two ladies in front of him couldn't stop talking during the movie. One lady was talking about the house that was shown up on top of the Mountain and how she had been inside and how nice it was. My Dad had to lean forward and say loudly "Lady I grew up within an hour of Mt. Rushmore. There is no house and there will never be a house up there. Now shut up." The audience applauded and the ladies shut up.

[Imogene]

And as an added bonus, there are usually people dressed in the Yogi Bear Costume so you can now direct all the furries out there.

Nah... Yogi's not very popular in the furry fandom, at least as far as I've seen. It's more characters from Sonic the Hedgehog, Rescue Rangers, and Winnie the Pooh, if they aren't home-made characters.
Oh, and Lola Bunnie.

[Antisocial_Worker]

I live in a resort area with many claims to fame, including an awfully, awfully large house. I've told most of these stories on here already, but here goes.

At Biltmore House...

Tourist: How much does the house weigh?
Docent: How much does your house weigh?

Teenage Girl 1: I can't believe they're making us come here, when this place was built by slave labor. I can't support this. I hate being here and it's wrong that they'd make us come to some place built by slaves.
Teenage Girl 2: God, I am like so high right now!

(Fun historical fact: Construction on Biltmore House began in 1890. Can you figure out what's wrong with the preceding statement now?)

At Chimney Rock Park...

Tourist: What time do you turn the waterfalls off at night?

In downtown Hendersonville...

Tourist: Where can I see lighthouses?

(Note: The very closest beach to Hendersonville is in Charleston, SC, 246 miles away.)

And at the hotel where I work I have also fallen prey to stupid tourist questions. A couple of years ago one man asked where he could find a good general store "where the old men sit around pickin' and grinnin'." My response was, "Nowhere. It's 2004 here just like it is everywhere else."

Another time, a man and two friends from France wanted suggestions on what to see. I recommended the Cherokee Indian Reservation 60 miles away. This upset them because they did not want to go see "a bunch of poor Indians being exploited." This is funny because, thanks to the casino out there, the Eastern Band of the Cherokee Indians collectively has enough money to buy Manhattan Island and use it as a weekend getaway.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

My brother is the night auditor at a VERY green resort in Washington State, called Sleeping Lady. He has been asked to turn off the frogs at night so people can sleep. D'oh!

People often go out in the heat of the day in shorts with a couple of bottles of water for "a little walk." They usually end up being escorted back, covered in blisters, by the local sherriff.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Oh, yes, and the other day I was watching a VERY wounded muskrat at the park. Poor guy. Got hit by crotchfruit with rocks. Daddy comes running.

"Don't touch that, Tyler/Dakota/Apple/whatever, it's a big rat!"

No, it's a MUSKrat. And it's bleeding, so it will either die in the next hour or be eaten by an eagle. You want your darlings to learn about nature? Come, watch.

[ArenaBoy]

When idiots go on vacation in other countries....

This is similiar to an idiot on vacation but it involves a foreign language and the reason as to why you need to get your verbs in working order when speaking a foreign language. Heard second hand through my French professor.

My professor was on a plane back from New York, behind her sat another professor who was returning from a study abroad trip in Spain. This professor told of a story where they ran into a group of other Americans on a band trip in Spain. One of the band members happened to be a big flirt but at the time had a boyfriend. She also didn't speak Spanish and this got her into trouble. She was flirting with a guy at a restaurant, the guy was taken to her that he asked her out. Shocked and troubled she turned into the study abroad group and was taught how to say "I have a boyfriend." This is where it becomes amusing: She turned to the guy and said "I am boyfriend." The guy looks at her very strangely and she turns around and relearns it and then says "You are boyfriend." This continued until she finally got the proper sentence.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

French Tourist:
Can I have fresh Maple Syrup from the day?
What my manager wanted to say:
SURE lemme just pop a tree in the backstore!

(For the Canadian-impaired, maple syrup is harvested once a year in early spring. NOT in the middle of July. Even if, we're a grocery store, not a "cabane à sucre"!)

[Gurndigarn]

French Tourist:
Can I have fresh Maple Syrup from the day?
What my manager wanted to say:
SURE lemme just pop a tree in the backstore!

(For the Canadian-impaired, maple syrup is harvested once a year in early spring. NOT in the middle of July. Even if, we're a grocery store, not a "cabane à sucre"!)

If you can find a place that's doing the rendering from sap to syrup, make sure you roll down the windows, despite the cold weather. It's not quite like going through Hershey, PA, but still has a nice effect. I used to live a quarter mile from a syrup mill.