People are Dumb on Vacation

[morgana]

If you can find a place that's doing the rendering from sap to syrup, make sure you roll down the windows, despite the cold weather. It's not quite like going through Hershey, PA, but still has a nice effect. I used to live a quarter mile from a syrup mill.

Did that on the kitchen stove one year (the neighbors had a sugar maple tree). That house smelled wonderful for months. And the syrup was to die for. Didn't get much, for as much sap as we harvested, but . . . wow.

[simplyanother]

We also say "boofalo" or "beefalo."

At the Virginia Zoo in Norfolk, there is a beefalo,or at least was. It was what happens when a bison and a cow mate, or something. (Not that there aren't some other places).

And I'd say meese too, because it sounds funny.

And finally, you mean moose and elk aren't the same thing?

I'd be a stupid tourist, I'm sure. But hopefully not a sucky one. Rather have someone laughing at my idiocy than praying for my demise, kwim?

I just try not to explain anything to my kids in front of locals.

[moekosowl]

Where's Jester gotten to? We need his tales of tourons!

[Gurndigarn]

Did that on the kitchen stove one year (the neighbors had a sugar maple tree). That house smelled wonderful for months. And the syrup was to die for. Didn't get much, for as much sap as we harvested, but . . . wow.

IIRC, the usual render is about 50:1, which explains a bit about the high price of genuine maple syrup.

I wish I still lived in an area good for syrup production. I'ld plant a few trees. (Sadly, I proabably wouldn't live to see them harvestable, but that's life. And death.)

[Tanasi]

A small collection of things I've either seen or was told of turons in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park specifically Cades Cove.

Damnyankee dad and mom sending their spawn to get closer to bear cubs so they can get their picture taken. Mom and Dad were miffed when they were told that's a good way to get the kids killed by the sow-bear. What'da mean those bears are wild? Yes they are and they crap in the woods too just like the pope.

Two damnyankee guys attacked a yearling bear cub for killing and eating a deer fawn. They were surprised when said cubs mom chased them all over creation and half of Georgia. They were charged with molesting wildlife. I can just hear that conversation in prision "Whatta ya in for for?"

The smoke in the mountains is caused by squirrel's camp fires on cold days in the mountains. Yes it is, just watch that mountain side after a rain you'll see the smoke.

How do you attract bears? Make pic-a-nic basket noise, say hi to BooBoo for me.

No there are no wild hill-billies in Tennessee anymore you have to go to the hill-billie reservation in North Carolina, yeah it's located in Ashville and Hendersonville. Oh if you visit I suggest that you be practiced up on squealing like a pig.

Yeah it's a long way to the top that's why it's called a mountain if it was shorter it would just be a hill.

Yes it's a shame you we have to cut down a tree to get firewood but those we do cut down are committing suicide.

No really you're not allowed to wear shoes in the park, just pull over and place your shoes behind a tree at the entrance with your name and address and they'll be there when you return.

[Antisocial_Worker]

No there are no wild hill-billies in Tennessee anymore you have to go to the hill-billie reservation in North Carolina, yeah it's located in Ashville and Hendersonville. Oh if you visit I suggest that you be practiced up on squealing like a pig.

They're going to be in for a nasty surprise if they come to Asheville or Hendersonville looking for hillbillies, which is probably why the suggestion was even made. The only hillbilly left in Asheville is the big neon one at the Mountaineer Motel. You're much more likely to find someone calling herself Peace Love World Understanding Moonflower Jones-Smith offering to cleanse your aura for a reasonable fee.

And don't even get me started on Hendersonville. Half of Florida did not move here to put up with the likes of hillbillies. They lower the property values, don't you know, and because they hate to be harsh, Herman and Ethel (originally of Syracuse, lately of Vero Beach, soon to close on a golfside mansion at The Villas at Misspelled Mountaine Pointe) demand that any hillbillies that might wander onto their lanai be trapped and killed humanely.

[RentalRacer]

Ha, I have friends that have lived in Hendersonville for about a year...I hope they don't turn into Hillbillies OR Hippies.

I posted this one once before, but we had a guy (german tourist) in Yellowstone with one of our cars who got as close as possible to a Buffalo with his car. He was surprised when the Buffalo sat down on the hood of his rental Cavalier and took a shit. I really ought to try and find the picture I took when it got towed in.
Buffalo-1 Chevy-0.

[ArenaBoy]

Being born in a state where a rapper named Eminem also lives, I happen to know where 8 Mile Road is. For those who don't know there was a movie named after that street and it starred Eminem in it. I've had people ask me how to get there and I look at them funny because there's just nothing to see. It's just a rundown area with a lot of crazies I've been tempted to say "No you won't find Eminem down there, you'll likely find some psycho asking for bus fare and it would be wise to bring something heavy. Preferably a crowbar or bat." If any of you are a fan of Eminem I would suggest not to go down there unless you're going downtown as 8 Mile is not exactly 5th Avenue.

[protege]

They're going to be in for a nasty surprise if they come to Asheville or Hendersonville looking for hillbillies, which is probably why the suggestion was even made.

I would have told them to head towards West Virginia. Plenty of hillbillies there. There are some in rural SW PA...but they aren't exactly tolerated by most other folks. Something about scrap cars in the front yards really annoys people and drives property values down

[Rapscallion]

Reminds me of some house hunting I did recently. I found the street where one very affordable house was, saw it, saw the cars in the gardens, and kept driving. I can buy a house, but I can't buy new neighbours to go with it.

Rapscallion

[Drakstern]

Plenty of hillbillies here in Ohio.

Just look for the F-150s with gun racks...