An appeal to my civic spirit

[Antisocial_Worker]

Another fun conversation just ended. Here it is word for word. The two particpants were myself and a gentleman with a very thick and Skoal-choked Southern accent who we shall refer to as Redneck (RD).

Me: Blah Inn, how can I help you?

RD: Hey, I want to know how much it is to rent a room for two.

Me: Do you live here inside Henderson County?

RD: Yeah.

Me: I'm sorry but we're not allowed to rent to locals anymore, but you might want to try one of the independent properties like the Independent Motel or the Also Independent Motel.

RD: You mean to tell me that the citizens and the people who built Henderson County can't rent a room there?

Me: It's standard policy at most area hotels, sir.

RD: Well, I think I'll just see if I can't put a piece in the Times-News (our local daily paper) about that.

Me: They already did that, sir. Go ahead.

RD: I think I just might.

Me: You do that. Bye-bye. *hangs up*

Now, here's the deal. As some may know, I'm very frustrated with my job at the moment although it's been very peaceful so far tonight. Part of my frustration is an unwillingness of the management to maintain the place properly or hire competent housekeepers to replace our current crop of idiots. Another part of my frustration is that we're the only chain property in town that rents to locals. All the others wised up and stopped doing it, and yes, there was indeed a piece in the paper about it last month in which the manager of a nearby hotel explained what I already know -- if you live here, you don't have a good reason to stay at a hotel. There are only two things that local go to hotels to do -- they come to fuck (usually someone else's spouse) and they come to do drugs.

With the former, it would seem that some men are simply incapable of getting it up without the aid of vandalism, which explains the time that someone tore the hooks out of the wooden (and expensive, for coat hangers) coat hangers in our jacuzzi suite, jammed said hooks in the walls and ceiling, and strung Christmas lights from them. Also, while I realize that who people do is none of my business, it becomes my business when the people those people should be doing instead show up and start trying to break into the room to grab the wife and kill her boyfriend or grab the husband and kill the girlfriend, or grab the boyfriend and kill the other boyfriend, or whatever else.

With the latter, I've been threatened by drug dealers ("You didn't see me, you didn't hear me, and you don't know who I am. Got it?), and there was one memorable time when a local lady went on a very bad acid trip and ran up and down the halls screaming that she was being raped.

There have, of course, been many, MANY other occasions of things going sour for amorous couples and drug addicts, locals all. So why do we rent to locals still? Because, simply, the owner makes too much money off the county's trailer trash and the city's ghetto thugs. If that puts the desk clerks in danger, that's really too bad, because Jamar from the housing projects on 7th will pay $69.95 plus tax, and so will Lurleen from the Panorama Vista View Prospect Lookout Trailer Courte, and by God if someone will pay $69.95, plus tax, then you get them in here no matter what they do, how they plan to destroy the room, or how many times the cops get called out.

And I've had enough. If a local comes in, I'll rent to them if they don't look like obvious scum, but I'll be damned before I'll rent to them before I have to. When the owner gets back in April, we'll be forced to rent to every last local again, but when she's gone, I won't. In fact, in years past the manager of our other properties has forbidden us from renting to locals while the owner was out of town. Usually we'd have one big incident before she'd reach her breaking point and bar the locals, like the time that someone strung out on cough medicine threatened a desk clerk with a brick, then broke out the window in his room with that brick because he thought the people in the rooms next door were trying to dig through the walls and come get him. The broken second floor window would have been his escape route, you see.

At any rate, I don't care if you laid the foundations for this building yourself. If you're a local, stay home and boink and/or smoke your meth. Just leave me the hell out of it.

[Knightmare]

But what about locals that have a legitimate reason to rent a room? "Boinking" is a legit reason, but not a good one. I'm talking about people that have had a house fire, got kicked out by a spouse, is having the house fumigated, their poltergeist is more active than usual, or any other legit reason. Are they SOL because they happen to live in the same county? Or are the exceptions to the rule?


Just curious.

[Fire_on_High]

We've had to get a room a time or two due to plumbing work that required the water to be cut off for several days. We had absolutely no problem getting it, tho we did bring along a paper from the plumbers who were doing the work which might've helped things along.

[Boozy]

My hometown hotel has the same rule, but as far as I know, its not because the locals have caused problems for them. Its because we have only one hotel in what has turned into a popular tourist town, and the tourists need somewhere to stay. No one can really build another hotel because of the greenbelt that prevents sprawl (a good thing, one of the reasons to want to visit).
If the hotel is booked up by locals, the tourists literally have nowhere to go. We all see it as a community effort to increase tourism and commerce in our town.
Maybe THAT'S what you should tell people if they appeal to your "civic duty".

[Antisocial_Worker]

But what about locals that have a legitimate reason to rent a room? "Boinking" is a legit reason, but not a good one. I'm talking about people that have had a house fire, got kicked out by a spouse, is having the house fumigated, their poltergeist is more active than usual, or any other legit reason. Are they SOL because they happen to live in the same county? Or are the exceptions to the rule?

Well, if you can give us a good, believable sob story we have no choice but to trust you, but many locals have figured this out. They've also figured out that if they can give us an address from somewhere else, we have to let them in even if we know they're local. A lot of the public housing set, and don't ask me why, has lived for a time in Florida and they consider their expired Florida drivers licenses to be more valuable than platinum.

Between the two, every Friday and Saturday night you'd think septic tanks were erupting like stinking volcanoes all over the county, plus there's a crowd of people who for whatever reason always manage to make it up here from Opa-Locka or Weeki-Watchee or wherever just when the weekend hits. Shockingly -- shockingly -- it's the rooms that belong to these suffering souls and wandering vagabonds that always smell like pot and crack smoke the next morning. It's a puzzlement.

[blas]

Does this "no locals allowed" rule apply in every hotel in every city?

I was kind of thinking since I missed Valentine's Day, and roomie has started making morning appearances at the apartment on Saturdays, that me and the boytoy would get a hotel room this Friday, since we're planning an all out dinner/movie/shopping date......but I don't want to go to another city just to get a hotel room for the night.

My friend that works at a hotel gets a discount, and she and her husband tend to spend one Friday a month in the hotel where she works....and they live in that town. Is it an exception because she works there?

I've never booked a hotel room for myself, I wouldn't know.....and all the hotels I've ever stayed at have been out of town or out of state with family.

[Knifeman]

Sounds like your owner takes management lessons from Mr. Krabs.

"The Money is Always Right!"

[ContraCorriente]

What do the kids do on prom night?

[Antisocial_Worker]

Does this "no locals allowed" rule apply in every hotel in every city?

I don't know if it applies in every city or if the locals around here are just nastier than they are elsewhere, but the hotels here developed this policy after much bitter experience. However, on holidays such as Valentine's Day and New Year's, when horniness is a given and near-universal, we rent to locals wanting to celebrate the special day, although God alone knows why they're here and not at one of the fancy resorts up in Asheville or down near Lake Lure.

That's another thing, come to think of it. I know that locals in Las Vegas or most other big cities will sometimes get a hotel room to get away from things for a bit. That's understandable, because every big city has stylish, upscale hotels sometimes you just need some class in your life. But, what's classy or romantic about your standard chain motel by the interstate?

What do the kids do on prom night?

Nothing that involves us. We won't rent to teenagers period. Nobody here will.

[Knifeman]

And that's why man invented cars with backseats and overlooking parking spots in the middle of the woods.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Does this "no locals allowed" rule apply in every hotel in every city?

Not every city, but it happens quite a lot in cities who are, or are on the major roadways to tourist areas.

I lived in Salisbury MD years ago and I was trying to get a hotel in the northern part of the city for the night. They noticed that I lived in Salisbury and they refused me. I told them that I was evacuated. They didn't care.

I went to the lobby and turned on the news. The same news about the lumber yard that was on fire and burning out of control. The firefighters couldn't control at all with all that lumber. Normally this wouldn't have caused an evac of the area since I lived about a half mile from the fire and there were at least three other ways to get to my home besides using the road near the lumberyard, however there was this one little problem.

This place was next to a Suburban Propane storage depot and they had three of the MASSIVE propane tanks. I don't know how much they hold, but the damn things are 40-60 feet long and 8-foot wide at least (not sure since I never got that close to them). Considering the expansion ratio of propane, Emergency Services were naturally concerned and evaced everyone.

Showing the manager the TV coverage (and the text scrolling across the bottom of the screen about the evacuation) as well as my drivers license address in the "Get the fark out" zone they finally relented and let me rent a room for the night.

M

[protege]

But what about locals that have a legitimate reason to rent a room? "Boinking" is a legit reason, but not a good one.

For years, there was a seedy motel just off I-70, in Washington, PA...that advertised rooms "for couples, by the hour, $28-30." Of course it was not located in a nice area, and yes there were constantly problems there (fights, robberies, shootings, etc.) Eventually, the city closed the place as a "nuisance" and knocked it down. The huge sign (which could be seen from the highway) stuck around for a few months, until it too, was gone.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My ex's old apartment was about 30 seconds from 3 or 4 hotels, and we've stayed in 2 of them. Once for Superbowl Sunday so we could drink (he's a regular at the hotel bar; it's his "Cheers"), and a few nights when he had to be out of his apartment for several days.

[tollbaby]

I've never heard of a rule like that. Granted, that might be why hotels ask for a home address when you're booking. Scary LOL I've never tried booking a hotel close to home... I wonder what would happen if I did.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

And that's why man invented cars with backseats and overlooking parking spots in the middle of the woods.

Or pickup trucks w/dual cabs . . . not that I'd know anything about that, of course.

Just sayin' . . .