It was surreal... and stinky.

[JustaCashier]

Mike

[karma_gypsy]

what he says is, 'Like the present I left for you f***ers?' then he laughs throws the coffee cup at the menu board and runs away!

Wow . . . I was soooo not expecting that to happen (literally). What a weirdo . . .

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

So Mister shit decides to plug up the toilets and have an embarassing peice of crap. A large brown stain on his track pants. Maybe you should've gave him a diaper!

[jb17kx]

That man must have very capacious bowels to have that much crap ready for use.

[ForestDragon]

I was thinking that myself...

[XCashier]

After he took a massive shit and managed to get it all over the place, I'd be afraid to touch him.

Ah, for the want of Star Trek-style phasers. "Set to stun, Captain!" ZZZAP!

Failing that, a good old-fashioned flamethrower would do the trick pretty well, too.

Was your manager in the vicinity when the coffee was thrown? He should've called the police on that slimebag.

[InverseHellion]

My manager was in the office with the biowaste clean up guys still. Or he might have moved on to the plumber at that point. Either way we did call the cops, but they didn't find him until a few months later when he did the same thing at a Tim Hortons. (SACRILEGE)

[AFpheonix]

Wow. Seriously, that man was full of shit.

Here's to hoping he got a good dose of the ol' fecal-oral route and spent a few days profoundly ill.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I'm glad your manager called a biowaste company instead of making any of you clean it up. You couldn't pay me all the money in the world to clean up someone else's bodily fluids.

The OP's lucky. At my store, calling a biowaste company to clean up a poopy bathroom is not an option. Some unlucky employee always has to do it.

And it can sometimes be a regular occerrence--if the "fingerpainter" makes a visit.

[Rapscallion]

I'm glad your manager called a biowaste company instead of making any of you clean it up. You couldn't pay me all the money in the world to clean up someone else's bodily fluids.

Get some parents in - they do it for free!

Rapscallion

[AFpheonix]

There's an idea. Find that guy's mom, since she didn't apparently toilet train him effectively.

[Tria]

That man must have very capacious bowels to have that much crap ready for use.

Well, he's obviously full of shit.

[Primer]

Wow. Seriously, that man was full of shit.

Well, he's obviously full of shit.

Not after that, he wasn't...

My first night at the bookstore, somebody did that to the ladies' room. All 3 stalls, the sinks, all the walls, the floor, I think there was even some on the ceiling....
Thank goodness they didn't make me (the newbie) clean it up!

[ArenaBoy]

I've told this one before but it'll remain in my head for as long as I live sadly.

This happened at the Party Venue in the summer of 2005; I was stuck in the voucher booth before the big rush and was just talking to my coworkers when this gentleman is walking up to us. Some things I need to point out: 1. This guy is drunk as a skunk. 2. Drunks can be idiots no matter what they look like, be it well-dressed businessmen or the types of folks that you would find in Deliverance.

He is just walking around doing things all drunks do at our expense, when he just suddenly walks into our booth and drops his pants and takes a dump right in front of us and the security squad. Big mistake on his part as there were cops, us parking wretches, and security. The guy got arrested for indecent exposure and public relief.

As for the poop pile. No one wanted to clean it up. All my coworkers were arguing over who had to do it and I was going to do it just to get it over with when a manager simply sighed and got to cleaning it.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

You know guys, I'm GLAD all I have to deal with is decorative pee patterns on the toilet seat.