The Family From Hell (language warning)

[Jester]

What a bunch of idiots.

Amusingly, this reminded me of the time at this one bar where the reverse happened....a drunk bartender tried to insist that I pay for a pitcher of beer I never ordered nor received from her. I handled it mostly calmly, having only one minor outburst of "The FUCK I did!" That story is in the archives here somewhere, but hell if I know where.

Holy crap. I actually found it! Here it is! (Although reading it now, it does sound a bit muddled....but the point is still the same.)

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Not that trying to scam a restaurant out of a free meal is a good idea in general, BUT even if that's what an SC is trying to do, there are ways to do it without being as offensive and destructive as that.

[Pixilated]

There are, but he's probably found that intimidation coupled with lots of noise has worked at other places, so he and his (*ahem*) family keep using it.

[TonyDonuts]

Bunch of idiots, but what sells it is the little girl giving CRML the evil look that says, "We scammed you, you were too stupid to stop us. My daddy is the cleverest daddy in the whole entire world!!"

Yeah, but they didn't get anything.

We had a regular "customer" at the Hut. She would come in every other week of so, and buy a medium hand-tossed pizza.

She would then come in the next day, say she found a hair in her pizza, and asking (very politely) for her money back.

I would open the box, and sure enough, there's a hair on the pizza. A fist-sized clump of hair, as though "someone" had cleaned out her hairbrush and dropped the clump right in the center of the pizza.

Now the restaurant types will remember how this scam usually works, "customer" orders food, eats all the food, then carefully places a piece of hair on the plate, and then indignantly makes a scene about the "hair in my food!" and demanding recompense in some form.

But not Our Hero in this story. The clump of hair sat on top of the pizza, complete. She hadn't eaten any of it. Not one bite. She had taken it home, dumped hair on it, and then brought it back to get her money back. Which I would give her, because she wasn't asking for a new pizza, just her money back.

And once she had the money, she would give me this, "I can't believe you fell for that!" look and walk out of the store with a smile on her face and a spring in her step, absolutely certain that she was just the cleverest person EVER!

[raudf]

And once she had the money, she would give me this, "I can't believe you fell for that!" look and walk out of the store with a smile on her face and a spring in her step, absolutely certain that she was just the cleverest person EVER!

That.. is the stupidest scammer in the world. If she did the math, she'd eventually realize that she's wasting more on gas than she... Oh, never mind. She's just flat stupid.

[Rainman]

At TomatoWasps we had a family like this too, thought not NEARLY as bad as CRML's SC family. There were 6 of them, Mom, Dad, 4 kids, all under 16 I'd say. They would come in, order a boatload of food, eat most, if not all of it, then start complaining. They weren't dicks about it though, that was the thing. They complained, but they were so nice about it their server would feel bad and talk to a manager to discount it or comp it. And it wouldn't be a complete SC story without them NEVER tipping, only leaving religious literature that looked like a 5 dollar bill. After awhile our hostess starting getting wise, because they always made sure they never got the same server twice, and she told the GM. A few more weeks go by and finally management has the brains to stop comping their mostly/fully eaten meals. They became alot more dickish after that, but still came in every sunday. It didn't matter who's section they got sat in, all of us would meet in the kitchen and draw straws to see who got them that week. And they still never left a real tip, not once.

CRML, this dude certainly sounds like he would make it in your top 5. It's pretty messed up to teach your kids how to be manipulative and lie. I gotta say though, I think your story about the woman who had her son piss all over the ladies room while she streaked baby poop on the walls is the worst. The big, loud SC is messed up, bathroom lady was just straight up twisted though.

[Barracuda]

Too bad you weren't in an American bar that employs a bouncer. Seriously, in some places here in the US, that father would have been in an armlock (or headlock) the minute he started yelling and cursing, and he would have been literally thrown out the door onto the sidewalk shortly thereafter.

[XCashier]

Too bad you weren't in an American bar that employs a bouncer. Seriously, in some places here in the US, that father would have been in an armlock (or headlock) the minute he started yelling and cursing, and he would have been literally thrown out the door onto the sidewalk shortly thereafter.

That would be the least he deserves. A nice long stay at the Greybar Hotel for Theft By Deception (that's the correct one, right?) would be better.

[PepperElf]

Order 3 meals and claim they ordered a 4th in order to gain enough sympathy to be refunded for the meal.

and enough times that the kid is part of the plan i think

[lie-al]

Nice way to teach your kids to steal. What a role model.

[draco664]

Too bad there's not enough there to call child services about - teaching a 12 year old to fake cry to scam a meal has got to some of the worst parenting I've ever seen, barring out & out abuse.

CRML is in the UK, and that scene has plenty enough to get Child Services involved. Ever since the baby that was under their watch was killed, they have an attitude of, better safe than sorry. They've gone so far as to take an infant born in France from their English parents and bring the kid back to England. If there's a chance of 'emotional harm', they'll have the kid out of there before you can blink.

[Jester]

Too bad you weren't in an American bar that employs a bouncer. Seriously, in some places here in the US, that father would have been in an armlock (or headlock) the minute he started yelling and cursing, and he would have been literally thrown out the door onto the sidewalk shortly thereafter.

I should point out that, in general, there are not going to be bouncers in pubs or restaurant/bars, places that children are allowed. Generally speaking, bouncer are only employed--outside of special events--at full-on bars and clubs, where children are not allowed at all, and where food is not usually served.

That being said, if that guy acted like that in one of those bars or clubs, yes, he would have been shown the door quickly, and probably would have been express air-mailed to the street by the bouncers.

[downforit2008]

I think I would have decked him in the face after the third time he's called someone a cunt and say, "Watch your language...SIR." No customer on earth deserves to be served or helped in any way once they resort to foul name-calling. These idiots deserve to stay at home and make their own "kids meals" out of the frying pan.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

I think I would have decked him in the face after the third time he's called someone a cunt and say, "Watch your language...SIR." No customer on earth deserves to be served or helped in any way once they resort to foul name-calling. These idiots deserve to stay at home and make their own "kids meals" out of the frying pan.

I would've just fish-hooked him. (Or gone for the throat.) I'm very slender, very fast and agile, but I don't pack a lot of power behind many of my hits - unless I start unleashing kicks.

So fish-hooking is always an awesome way to not only confuse and incapacitate someone, but also embarrass the heck outta them.

[thansal]

I'm still stupefied by the 'customers' that CRML gets at the pub, though, as you said, this takes the cake...