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Murphy's law, I swear. No sooner do I make a thread all about how my customers do NOT want X-rated plushes, then I get a customer who wants an X-rated plush.
I blame Freak in the previous thread for bringing up the infamous Lyra. :P (Just kidding.)
Actually this is only I think the third person who's wanted an X-rated plush from me, and given I've been doing plush for six years now that's actually a really good ratio. And the previous customers were extremely polite about it, and took being turned down gracefully. But this guy... well, I'll let him speak for himself.
PC(stands for Pervy Customer): hi do you still make plushies? and if you make them custom made for people.
PLS reply back Thank You.
Me: (Thinking that there are bad signs here already.) Yes I do.
PC: finally I found some one that dose. Well how much it will be for one and do you have a pink wolf plush by any chance? If you do I would like to have one
Me: I don't have any made, but I can make one. The price depends on the
size you want. I have a price list here: (link)
PC: how big was the pink wolf you had?
Me: The pink wolf in my gallery was four feet long, and cost $350
PC: alright then
can you make another one?
Me: (Thinking "dur, that's the point of the "I can make one" above. That's what "custom" means.) Yes I can.
PC: okay then so how dose this work?
Me: Well, I usually ask for half of the total price up front, so I can buy
materials. Then once I get payment I put the project at the end of my
project list. When I reach that point in the list I'll make the
plush, and send you pictures to show it's done. Then you send the
other half payment, plus the cost of shipping, and I ship the plush to
you.
Right now the next spot on my project list is in December, so that's
how long it would take to get made.
PC: okay good I don't have the money, but I will soon and I don't have a paypal account because I have no credit card but I still can send the money to you if that's cool for you. The wait is a long time though I hope it's worth the wait because I don't want to spend $350 for a plush that's not made well but I'm sure that your plushies are well made from the views I herd about your plushies and everyone FA is in love with your plushies so I guess there really good so I trust you
Me: Okay. And thank you. Just let me know when you're ready to send a
payment.
PC: okay when i give the payment here what i want the wolf to be like add some extra stuffing in her rump and can you give her eyes some feminine looks if you can.
Me: (Thinking WTF?) Extra stuffing? Can I ask why? Adding more stuffing just makes a lumpy, hard area.
PC: yeah forget that umm just make the eyes feminine if you would pls ^-^
Me: Sure, I can do that.
PC: okay I have a garage sale this week so I'm hopping to get $150 out of it or more when I do I'll send it to you for the jump start and pay you so on and son.
Me: (Thinking, yeah, this is probably never going to actually happen.) Okay.
PC: I hope you can wait a while I have no job it's very hard to find one
Me: (Called it. Never going to happen.) I can wait as long as it takes. It's just that the later you commission it, the later it will be done, that's all.
PC: hey can you give the wolf a lovehole or you don't do that?
Me: (Thinking AUGH! No! Hellno!) No, I don't do that.
PC: okay. I still think $350 is high for a plush but I'm still going to buy your plush
BUT your plushies are awesome looking ^_^ first ill send you $50 and so on and so on
(Me, thinking "you are a rude ass, and I have no response that isn't rude, but that statement doesn't require a response anyway, so I will just say nothing.)
PC: (When I didn't respond to the above.) Hey you still with me?
Me: I'm still here. Still willing to make a (no loveholes) plush.
But there's nothing else to say really until you're ready to actually
order, is there?
PC: well if im paying $350 for a plush i would expect a lovehole, bttw im going to sen some money to you here pretty soon, ill send you $50 and so on and so one. NOW DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID, I EXPECT TO HAVE THE PLUSHY WHEN YOU GET PAID THE RIGHT AMMOUNT OKAY? im just makeing myself clear
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there's the suck. That. Right there. The above asking about loveholes? Creepy, but not actually suck. You can ask you just have to accept that I can say no, and leave it at that. And NO for $350 you do not get to expect anything at all. Except a nicely made product, finished when I promised it will be finished, not according to your paranoid demands! I have NEVER once failed to come through for a customer. I have often been later than estimates, I have on extremely rare occasions been later than firm deadlines, but I have NEVER failed to actually make the item as promised. Never. Ever. So yeah, that combined with the fricking line about "expecting" a lovehole? No. Just no. Absolutely no.
This was my reply to the guy, and I don't care if it comes across as rude.
Me: I will not make a lovehole, firstly. Secondly all plushes are
finished in order on my project list, so when it's done depends on who
else is ahead of you, it doesn't matter what schedule you pay on. If
that's not acceptable, there are many other plush makers out there, I
suggest you go find a different one.
I blame Freak in the previous thread for bringing up the infamous Lyra. :P (Just kidding.)
Actually this is only I think the third person who's wanted an X-rated plush from me, and given I've been doing plush for six years now that's actually a really good ratio. And the previous customers were extremely polite about it, and took being turned down gracefully. But this guy... well, I'll let him speak for himself.
PC(stands for Pervy Customer): hi do you still make plushies? and if you make them custom made for people.
PLS reply back Thank You.
Me: (Thinking that there are bad signs here already.) Yes I do.
PC: finally I found some one that dose. Well how much it will be for one and do you have a pink wolf plush by any chance? If you do I would like to have one
Me: I don't have any made, but I can make one. The price depends on the
size you want. I have a price list here: (link)
PC: how big was the pink wolf you had?
Me: The pink wolf in my gallery was four feet long, and cost $350
PC: alright then
can you make another one?
Me: (Thinking "dur, that's the point of the "I can make one" above. That's what "custom" means.) Yes I can.
PC: okay then so how dose this work?
Me: Well, I usually ask for half of the total price up front, so I can buy
materials. Then once I get payment I put the project at the end of my
project list. When I reach that point in the list I'll make the
plush, and send you pictures to show it's done. Then you send the
other half payment, plus the cost of shipping, and I ship the plush to
you.
Right now the next spot on my project list is in December, so that's
how long it would take to get made.
PC: okay good I don't have the money, but I will soon and I don't have a paypal account because I have no credit card but I still can send the money to you if that's cool for you. The wait is a long time though I hope it's worth the wait because I don't want to spend $350 for a plush that's not made well but I'm sure that your plushies are well made from the views I herd about your plushies and everyone FA is in love with your plushies so I guess there really good so I trust you
Me: Okay. And thank you.
Just let me know when you're ready to send apayment.
PC: okay when i give the payment here what i want the wolf to be like add some extra stuffing in her rump and can you give her eyes some feminine looks if you can.
Me: (Thinking WTF?) Extra stuffing? Can I ask why? Adding more stuffing just makes a lumpy, hard area.
PC: yeah forget that umm just make the eyes feminine if you would pls ^-^
Me: Sure, I can do that.
PC: okay I have a garage sale this week so I'm hopping to get $150 out of it or more when I do I'll send it to you for the jump start and pay you so on and son.
Me: (Thinking, yeah, this is probably never going to actually happen.) Okay.
PC: I hope you can wait a while I have no job it's very hard to find one
Me: (Called it. Never going to happen.) I can wait as long as it takes.
It's just that the later you commission it, the later it will be done, that's all.PC: hey can you give the wolf a lovehole or you don't do that?
Me: (Thinking AUGH! No! Hellno!) No, I don't do that.
PC: okay. I still think $350 is high for a plush but I'm still going to buy your plush
BUT your plushies are awesome looking ^_^ first ill send you $50 and so on and so on
(Me, thinking "you are a rude ass, and I have no response that isn't rude, but that statement doesn't require a response anyway, so I will just say nothing.)
PC: (When I didn't respond to the above.) Hey you still with me?
Me: I'm still here. Still willing to make a (no loveholes) plush.
But there's nothing else to say really until you're ready to actually
order, is there?
PC: well if im paying $350 for a plush i would expect a lovehole, bttw im going to sen some money to you here pretty soon, ill send you $50 and so on and so one. NOW DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID, I EXPECT TO HAVE THE PLUSHY WHEN YOU GET PAID THE RIGHT AMMOUNT OKAY? im just makeing myself clear
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there's the suck. That. Right there. The above asking about loveholes? Creepy, but not actually suck. You can ask you just have to accept that I can say no, and leave it at that. And NO for $350 you do not get to expect anything at all. Except a nicely made product, finished when I promised it will be finished, not according to your paranoid demands! I have NEVER once failed to come through for a customer. I have often been later than estimates, I have on extremely rare occasions been later than firm deadlines, but I have NEVER failed to actually make the item as promised. Never. Ever. So yeah, that combined with the fricking line about "expecting" a lovehole? No. Just no. Absolutely no.
This was my reply to the guy, and I don't care if it comes across as rude.
Me: I will not make a lovehole, firstly. Secondly all plushes are
finished in order on my project list, so when it's done depends on who
else is ahead of you, it doesn't matter what schedule you pay on. If
that's not acceptable, there are many other plush makers out there, I
suggest you go find a different one.
People who do X-rated stuff tend to charge much, much higher than the equivalent child-safe crafters. That's pretty much universal. (I mean, the price of a few ounces of sculpted rubber for a kid's toy vs. an adult's "toy" shows that principle rather clearly.)
in search of the 
.
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