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Hi folks - long time lurker here. I've wanted to post for a while but my current job is pretty unique, and I'm struggling to anonymise stories while keeping some meaning to them. So I thought I'd go back to my retail days (shudder) until I work something out.
On this particular Saturday, the shop I managed was heaving. My two CWs were desperately restocking, and I was on the till, trying to cope with a fairly big queue. I had advanced warning about this particular SC as the impatience at having to wait had been radiating from him, so when he finally reached the front of the queue, I gave him my most polite "How can I help you sir?"
SC: You guys phoned me to tell me you've finally framed my pictures
ME: I'm sorry sir, but..
SC: You're sorry? You mean I've driven 40 miles to pick up my pictures and they're not even ready?
ME: Sir..
SC: This is outrageous
Insert in here the loudest, most obnoxious customer tirade you've ever heard, generously peppered with swearing, flying spittle, and the thumping of his fist repeatedly on the counter. His face grew redder and redder, and rather that attempt to get a word in edgeways, I decided to keep quiet until he ran out of steam. Once he finished, I gave him a bonus 30 seconds of silence which prompted the following
SC: Cat got you tongue?
I was nearing the end of my 7 year sentence in retail at this point, and pretty much out of any reserves of goodwill towards my fellow man, which is why my response was less than polite.
ME: No sir. Every time I've attempted to speak to you, you've shouted right over me. So I thought I'd wait until I knew for sure you'd finished, or you had a stroke. I didn't really mind which.
SC: (taken aback, unable to speak - thankfully)
ME: Firstly, I'd like to point out there is no correlation between customer volume and the level of service we provide.
SC: What?
ME: (as if to a small child) There's no need to shout. I'm only 2 feet away from you.
SC: ....
ME: Secondly, there are children in this store, and I'm sure their parents would prefer if you didn't teach them words that would make a soldier blush.
SC: ( actually starting to look ashamed, to his credit )
ME: Thirdly, look around you. Notice how this shop is full of clothing? I suspect you'll have better luck getting your pictures at THE PICTURE FRAMING STORE two doors down.
He crawled out defeated, to the amusement of the queue. The best moment however, was about 5 minutes later. A little old lady got to the counter with a pile of T-shirts, and a big grin on her face.
LOL: I've come to pick up my car. You rang me to say it was ready. ( Thumps fist on counter, laughs till she tears up )
I've never discounted anyone so much in my life.
On this particular Saturday, the shop I managed was heaving. My two CWs were desperately restocking, and I was on the till, trying to cope with a fairly big queue. I had advanced warning about this particular SC as the impatience at having to wait had been radiating from him, so when he finally reached the front of the queue, I gave him my most polite "How can I help you sir?"
SC: You guys phoned me to tell me you've finally framed my pictures
ME: I'm sorry sir, but..
SC: You're sorry? You mean I've driven 40 miles to pick up my pictures and they're not even ready?
ME: Sir..
SC: This is outrageous
Insert in here the loudest, most obnoxious customer tirade you've ever heard, generously peppered with swearing, flying spittle, and the thumping of his fist repeatedly on the counter. His face grew redder and redder, and rather that attempt to get a word in edgeways, I decided to keep quiet until he ran out of steam. Once he finished, I gave him a bonus 30 seconds of silence which prompted the following
SC: Cat got you tongue?
I was nearing the end of my 7 year sentence in retail at this point, and pretty much out of any reserves of goodwill towards my fellow man, which is why my response was less than polite.
ME: No sir. Every time I've attempted to speak to you, you've shouted right over me. So I thought I'd wait until I knew for sure you'd finished, or you had a stroke. I didn't really mind which.
SC: (taken aback, unable to speak - thankfully)
ME: Firstly, I'd like to point out there is no correlation between customer volume and the level of service we provide.
SC: What?
ME: (as if to a small child) There's no need to shout. I'm only 2 feet away from you.
SC: ....
ME: Secondly, there are children in this store, and I'm sure their parents would prefer if you didn't teach them words that would make a soldier blush.
SC: ( actually starting to look ashamed, to his credit )
ME: Thirdly, look around you. Notice how this shop is full of clothing? I suspect you'll have better luck getting your pictures at THE PICTURE FRAMING STORE two doors down.
He crawled out defeated, to the amusement of the queue. The best moment however, was about 5 minutes later. A little old lady got to the counter with a pile of T-shirts, and a big grin on her face.
LOL: I've come to pick up my car. You rang me to say it was ready. ( Thumps fist on counter, laughs till she tears up )
I've never discounted anyone so much in my life.
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
to you, a heaping helping of pwnage for Mr. Leather Lungs, and a plate of cookies for that funny lady afterwards!
Your first post is a good one.
That was great. I liked the quip about having a stroke.
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