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This wasn't funny. I just need to share it with someone. <sob>
Guy calls up on one of our tech support lines with some installation problems. Alright, no big deal. Walking a caller through the installation is one of the easier types of calls we get.
So I ask him the error:
"I dunno, it popped up and said a bunch of things."
I ask him to elaborate:
"I don't know! Can't you just fix it from there?!"
Yes, I'll get right on magically fixing the problem you won't even tell me the nature of.
I manage to nail down that his anti-virus software is interfering with the installation. Before you install this software you have to disable your antivirus and firewall else they'll interfere or sometimes give a false positive with some products. So I explain to him he has to disable his antivirus.
"How do I do that?!"
Thus the problem begins....I can't tell him how to do this. Not only do we not have specifics of every antivirus on the market but its a liability issue. If I try to help this guy turn off his antivirus and then turn it back on...and he fails. Guess who he'll blame the second he gets a virus? Right-o.
So I explain to him he'll have to check the help files/manual for his antivirus or call the maker of his antivirus for assistance in disabling and re-enabling it. He does not like this.
"Why can't you tell me!? You do this all the time!"
I calmly explain that since we did not make his antivirus software we can't provide support for it. Basically I can't tell you how to use something we didn't make. This displeases Jabba. He continues to demand I help him do it and I continue to explain thats not possible. Every time I do there's 20 seconds of dead silence where I guess he quivers with outrage and his inability to grasp the concept that you can't just call up any computer company and have them fix everything on your computer.
We go around and around till he threatens to return our product due to how unhelpful we're being. I once again, using the tone of voice one uses on a small child and small words, explain that I can't tell him how to use something we did not make. Once again I get stupefied silent outrage.
Then he moves on to demanding that I "check from there" to see if its installed properly. I explain I cannot remotely connect to his computer just to tell him if its installed. Once again he gives me the "Well why not!?!" temper tantrum. He demands to know how he can tell if its installed. I point out that if it installs properly he'll get a window saying so. If it doesn't.....he'll also magically get a window saying so. Either way the computer will inform him.
After 5 minutes of this stupidity he finally threatens to "Try something else" then goes silent for 30 seconds. Then finally tells me thanks in a "Go *&@$ yourself" manner and hangs up.
Why is that so hard to understand? We didn't make it so we can't tell you how to use it. Do you call the company that made your microwave to demand they tell you how to use your toaster? They're both appliances so you must know!
Guy calls up on one of our tech support lines with some installation problems. Alright, no big deal. Walking a caller through the installation is one of the easier types of calls we get.
So I ask him the error:
"I dunno, it popped up and said a bunch of things."
I ask him to elaborate:
"I don't know! Can't you just fix it from there?!"
Yes, I'll get right on magically fixing the problem you won't even tell me the nature of.
I manage to nail down that his anti-virus software is interfering with the installation. Before you install this software you have to disable your antivirus and firewall else they'll interfere or sometimes give a false positive with some products. So I explain to him he has to disable his antivirus.
"How do I do that?!"
Thus the problem begins....I can't tell him how to do this. Not only do we not have specifics of every antivirus on the market but its a liability issue. If I try to help this guy turn off his antivirus and then turn it back on...and he fails. Guess who he'll blame the second he gets a virus? Right-o.
So I explain to him he'll have to check the help files/manual for his antivirus or call the maker of his antivirus for assistance in disabling and re-enabling it. He does not like this.
"Why can't you tell me!? You do this all the time!"
I calmly explain that since we did not make his antivirus software we can't provide support for it. Basically I can't tell you how to use something we didn't make. This displeases Jabba. He continues to demand I help him do it and I continue to explain thats not possible. Every time I do there's 20 seconds of dead silence where I guess he quivers with outrage and his inability to grasp the concept that you can't just call up any computer company and have them fix everything on your computer.
We go around and around till he threatens to return our product due to how unhelpful we're being. I once again, using the tone of voice one uses on a small child and small words, explain that I can't tell him how to use something we did not make. Once again I get stupefied silent outrage.
Then he moves on to demanding that I "check from there" to see if its installed properly. I explain I cannot remotely connect to his computer just to tell him if its installed. Once again he gives me the "Well why not!?!" temper tantrum. He demands to know how he can tell if its installed. I point out that if it installs properly he'll get a window saying so. If it doesn't.....he'll also magically get a window saying so. Either way the computer will inform him.
After 5 minutes of this stupidity he finally threatens to "Try something else" then goes silent for 30 seconds. Then finally tells me thanks in a "Go *&@$ yourself" manner and hangs up.
Why is that so hard to understand? We didn't make it so we can't tell you how to use it. Do you call the company that made your microwave to demand they tell you how to use your toaster? They're both appliances so you must know!
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