The Most Bizzarre "Name" Ever

[Bacter]

Sunshine Delilah actually sounds like a cool name for a TV western series.

[April]

ooh I thought of another one..

There were signs allover town for this one, i can't remember what he was running for, but the signs said

" Dick Lickardi"

[ladylabyrinth]

My father went to school way back when, "before dirt was invented" as he likes to say, with some unfortunately-named kids. Among them were a Ms. Candy Barr and a Ms. Candy Kane. He's got the yearbooks to prove it too. Not quite the same as the Snopes ignorant hicks/blacks/insert-your-choice-of-bigotry-here stories, but still...

Why would people consciously choose to name their kids something guaranteed to scar them? I mean, it's along the lines of A Boy Named Sue, seriously.

As far as Shithead (shʌ-TEED), Orangejello (or-AHN-zhʌllo), Lemonjello (le-MAHN-zhʌllo) and the rest? I can only think 2 things: 1) The person/people naming the child have heard these stories before and find it HI-larious. Rather twisted sense of humor to name your kid after an unsavory UL. 2) For whatever reason, regardless of ethnic/regional/cultural background, they really are completely oblivious to the homography of the names.

Incidentally? that little ʌ symbol is the International Phonetic Alphbet for English symbol for the "u" sound as in "sum" or "plus". If there were such a symbol that vaguely resembled pi (I didn't see any myself) I might see someone changing their name to, for example, ʒ. But then I would think the spelled out version would be "ʒ (or zh) as in measure".

[Bacter]

It's not quite as intense as the others, but my mom was a 2nd grade teacher, and she taught an entire family named for cars- ferrari, jaguar, porshe, i can't remember the fourth.

[angelkirie]

I have to say though, (I am 23 by the way, not just a kid with a weird sense of humor) if I ever have children they will be named:

(Nerd alert)

Nicholas Wolfwood and Vash.

As for Vash we will only tell him that he was (spolier alert) named after a plant and let him figure out the rest.

[bigjimaz]

When I was 17 I dated a girl named Cricket. Her sister was named Velveeta.

Yes like the cheese. I thought these were both nicknames when I first met them.

They weren't.

[Primer]

A few students in previous classes:

Echo J.
Jingle Belle W.

I'm sure there were, and will be, others, but those stand out in my memory.

[bigjimaz]

It's not quite as intense as the others, but my mom was a 2nd grade teacher, and she taught an entire family named for cars- ferrari, jaguar, porshe, i can't remember the fourth.

Maybe Mercedes?

I can sympathize.

My ex-wife used to call me a car name too.

Would Yugo to the store and get me some pads?

Could Yugo get me some bacon?

[Ackee]

Wish I was in Germany

Apparently in Germany , it is illegal to name you child a crap or offensive name.

[April]

A while back, on one of the boards I visit there was a link to a baby announcement where the baby was named


Aryan Justice

in fact, here's the link
http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals...babyID=h1-4161

[nekoro]

My parents actually lived in a neighborhood with a set of twin boys. Frank, and his brother Knarf. (Pronounced Nahrf.)

[CurlyLocks]

After all, I love his cereal (gotta admit, it's a great racket. Give people cavities then make them come see you )

Wow, Frankenberry always seemed so doltish in the commercials - I never would have given him credit for being so devious!

[Bonnie Bitch]

Why would people consciously choose to name their kids something guaranteed to scar them?

A schoolmate of mine, from around 4th grade through high school, went by Gina (pronounced GEE-nah, no surprises there). One time, when we were about 13, I asked her if her name was short was Regina (with a long EE sound for i). She glared at me like I'd killed her puppy and growled "No" at me.
During senior year of high school, I got a glimpse of the class roster for English class, and I got a good look at what "Gina" was short for. Gina saw me stare at her, and she stared back, quite puzzled.
After school, she cornered me and asked what I was looking at. I drew a breath and said, "Why did your mother name you Vagina?"
She promptly slung me up against a wall and threatened me with, "You tell anyone, and I'll cut your off."
Then she explained why: her mother was functionally illiterate and wanted to name her daughter "Virginia," which she pronounced "Vah-JI-nna." She sounded it out, as best she could, and then she wrote it down on the birth certificate.
Gina figured it out when she was 8 years old. Fortunately, Gina lived with her father, and her dad (bless his heart!) ran interference when she was in school, explaining her full name and that they were unable to change it because his ex-wife refused to.
As a side note -- on her 18th birthday, Gina legally changed her name to Virginia, and she threw a party that night. I was invited. Her mother was so miffed that Gina changed her name that she refused to speak to Gina for about 5 years. Gina's reaction? "Tough sh*t! It's her problem for naming me after a coochie."
They have since reconciled, but her mother still brings it up from time to time.
Anyway, that's one reason children sometimes get wretched names -- the parent(s) honestly can't spell the bestowed name.

[KamenRiderOsaka]

my oh my, weird names.

Had a customer who's name was Gary P. Enis. He wanted to change the name on his acct to P. Enis since "Gary is his dad."

Had a "Hung Lo" for a customer. And a girl in HS, her name was "Crystal Chandelier."

[BookstoreEscapee]

So the boys were "De One" and "De Other One"

Reminds me of this joke:

Woman is pregnant and is in an accident, and winds up in a coma. When she wakes up she finds out her twin babies were born, and since there was no one else, her brother has named them. Her brother is not the brightest bulb, so she's a little nervous. So she asks him what names he chose, and he says, "I named the girl Denise." And she thinks, Hey, that's pretty, I like that. And the boy? "I named the boy Denephew."

Or,: Identical twin boys are adopted to two different families, one Egyptian, the other Mexican, who name them Amal and Juan, respectively. Years later their birth parents get a picture of Juan. The mother says, I wish I had a picture of Amal, too. The father says, "Why? They're identical twins - once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Dear Abby has had several columns in the last several weeks about names of people that match their occupations, which kind of turned into people just sending in names that are just funny, kind of like Candy Kane.

If you're interested in this kind of thing, I recommend the book Freakonomics by Steven Levitt. There's a chapter on names and there's some interesting name stories. (Good book, overall, too.)