My doctor says I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there!

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

O.K., here's the scene. I'm at work, wearing a white button up shirt and my saucy black polyester vest, And my bow-tie. (why yes, I am sex on legs, why do you ask?). Out of nowhere I get a streaming nosebleed. Not a dribble-down-your face-but-you-still-have-time-to-get-a-tissue-nosebleed. More of a remember-that-scene-from-the-Shining-with-the-blood-in-the-elevators- nosebleed.
White shirt is now splashed with red. I grab a napkin, tilt my head back and start to shuffle to the bathroom when a patron in the corner stands up and walks over to me. I assume it's to make sure my brain hasn't liquifed or to see if I need a hand navigating all the 8 million armchairs and sofas that I can't see because of the BLOOD GUSHING FROM MY FACE (I'm so stupid. I never learn.)
He walks up to me and says..."Can I have a Heineken?"

Wow.

[Pixilated]

That's the point where you sneeze ... because of course all that liquid is tickling your nose ... and spew a lovely blood spatter pattern all over HIS shirt.

"Why yes, sir, I will get you wod ibediately ..."

After which you produce a second *AAHHHHCHOOOO* before you shuffle off to deal with the problem that really IS a problem ...

[Salted Grump]

First aid bit; Never tilt your head back when you have a nosebleed; tilt it forwards and pinch at the bridge of the nose, so as to prevent any blood trickling down your throat (Coughing/choking hazard).

[Mr Hero]

So, do you like...stuff?

[I am the Lizard Queen!!]

So, do you like...stuff?

I Choo-choo-CHOOSE you! (and there's a picture of a TRAIN!)

That's the point where you sneeze

If only I could sneeze on command, or even better, vomit! Take that!

[telecom_goddess]

I Choo-choo-CHOOSE you! (and there's a picture of a TRAIN!)


If only I could sneeze on command, or even better, vomit! Take that!

Swallow the blood and the vomit will follow

[Aethian]

I've had those types of nose bleeds before. Customer's aren't so forgiving if your handing them mail and looking like you just bit the last guy for a quick snack. Ruined three good work shirts that way. *sighs*

[MoonCat]

Eww, thanks for the reminder: Cold weather + office heating/dry air = nose bleeds.

Another reason I hate winter...

Hope your nose is all better now, though! Stupid customers...wonder if that Heineken would have fit up HIS nose?

[thehuckster]

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

[Seshat]

I've had those types of nose bleeds before. Customer's aren't so forgiving if your handing them mail and looking like you just bit the last guy for a quick snack. Ruined three good work shirts that way. *sighs*

A good soak in a protein-removing nappy (diaper) cleaner will usually remove blood from cloth.

[Aethian]

A good soak in a protein-removing nappy (diaper) cleaner will usually remove blood from cloth.

Dont have the shirts anymore but I'll keep that in mind for next time cause I know there will be a next time.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

[XCashier]

How self-centered do you have to be to ask for a beer from someone who is bleeding profusely?!

[zombiequeen]

Hydrogen peroxide is good for getting blood out of fabric as well. I have had to use it SO many times because I bleed for no reason.

[Sapphire Silk]

Hydrogen peroxide is good for getting blood out of fabric as well. I have had to use it SO many times because I bleed for no reason.

Here's how I get blood out of my uniforms:

Soak in cold water for at least 15 minutes.

Then soak the affected part in a part peroxide, part cold water solution (1/2 and 1/2) for a few minutes, then quickly rinse well in cold water.

Then wash normally in cold water. Check to make sure the blood is out before you put it in the dryer. I usually will rub in a color safe bleach like Clorox 2 or spray in some Shout for good measure, and throw in some 20 Mule Team Borax as a whitener.

It usually works every time. You have to be careful with peroxide. It can yellow whites, and fade colors much like bleach does (which is why it's used to lighten hair).

I wear white to work all the time. And get blood (and other things) on them all the time. Nurse, you know.