Stupiest Question of the Year

[Moirae]

I used to work in the mall in my early 20's when I was in University. I worked in the information booth.

Please keep in mind that this is NOT a knock on Americans, only a laugh at the morons that came in that day.

Now, mind you, it was the middle of July and four Americans walked up to me. All cool, by my way of thinking. We often get Americans coming through for vacation (Canada is a cheap vacation spot due to the difference between the Canadian and American dollar) during the summer.

Until one of them opened his mouth.

In summer, it can reach up to 120 degrees Fehr. Usually it's only around 80 degrees fehrenheight, but it can get alot hotter than that. This was one of those days. It was over 100 degrees that day, and everyone is cooking in their own skin. The mall is PACKED because most people in my area don't bother to get an AC when you'll probably only need it for one month a year.

But no, this American says in all honesty while he's wearing shorts, runners, and a muscle shirt "Where's all the snow? We want to go skiing and are headed out to Banff."

I couldn't help it. I just started laughing, it was so funny. Now, if you've never been to Banff, it's one of our premier ski towns. Expensive, and great hills.

During the winter. During the summer in over 100 degree heat, you won't find a bit of snow off the caps of the Rocky Mountains. It's all melted.

So I try, as nicely as possible, to explain to him that there is no snow during the summer. Banff is pretty but what they'll find is kanoing, rafting, horseback riding, etc, during the summer.

And then the dip comes back to me later before he leaves and asks if we "Barter like they do in Mexico."

Seriously, even his friends were on him about that one. I politely told him to think of Canada as being just like the US but our money is worth less, and our army is alot smaller.

Frightening thing is, that's not the only time something like that has happened. I've been asked if we wear seal skin coats, drives dog sleds to work, and live in igloos. I've also had people express surprise at not seeing snow 10 miles past the American border.

I realize there's no need for you to know that much about Canada, but until I met my husband (he's from Louisiana) I honestly wondered about the education down there.

[Broomjockey]

My favourite for the longest time was Rick Mercer's talking to Americans segment on This Hour has 22 Minutes.
The best segment had to be when he was getting people to congratulate Canada on getting our 4th state or something like that, and finally right after a lady with a kid gives her congratulations, her kid pipes up, "Wait! Canada has provinces!"
Just so no Americans think I'm puttin' ya down, I just wanna say one of the smartest people I ever met was a girl from the states who transferred to my school, and I know lots of people with dual-citizenship. So there

[Moirae]

I know many more Americans than I used to and it's not that bad. I think my early years just showed I encountered some stupid people, that's all. I just thought it wouldn't take much brains to realize that 100 degree whether would equal no snow.

[Becks]

A story from my mommy...not a customer, but a coworker, asked in all seriousness...

What religion is the Pope the head of?

[RobertM]

Stupid verbal questions

I work on a preserved railway here in the UK and these are some of the questions I have been asked.

A lady asked me if there was another passenger train after the last one of the day!!!!

Why don't you run steam on diesel service weekends?

What is the price of the £10.50 rover ticket?

Are there any services today? This was when a train was in the station and people were getting on and off.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people leave their brain at home!!!

Robert

[we'vegotawinner]

of COURSE christmas is in july. haven't you seen those mattress store commercials?

[Jester]

Sometimes you can answer a somewhat stupid question without ever saying a word.

Now, my friends and my coworkers (once I have worked somewhere long enough) all know that me and mornings don't get along. I figure I won't bother mornings if they don't bother me. Basically, I am NOT the guy you want to schedule for the breakfast shift. And once my coworker start seeing me during even late mornings, for whatever reason, they start to catch on.

Now, the place I work currently, they have caught on to this. Jester=not a morning person. So, we were getting in our new computer system, and my supervisor (a nice guy) approaches me and says, "Jester, for the computer training, do you want the 9 am or the 1 pm session?" I don't say a word, don't do a thing, just LOOK at him. Him: [short pause] "Right. 1 o'clock." I love being me!

Another one I love, dearly, is one I deal with repeatedly. Again, not SC's, just somewhat clueless people, who either call or walk in, and the following conversation, or a variant there, then ensues:

THEM: "What are your hours?"
ME: "We open at 7 am for breakfast and close at 11 pm every day."
THEM: "So what time are you closing tonight?"
ME: "Um....11 pm."
THEM: "And what are your hours on Sunday?"
ME: "Those are our hours every single day."
THEM: "Oh, okay."



And finally, a conversation I have almost every day that I work...

THEM: "So, how long have you lived here?"
ME: "I came for a month, it's been several years."
THEM: "So...do you like it?"

[Canarr]

One I overheard while standing in line at McDonald's a few years ago (note: McDonald's menus come in "Regular" and "Maxi" here in Germany).

Was standing behind two girls in their mid-teens, when one of them turned to the other and said, in all seriousness:

"What means large again, Mini or Maxi?"

She looked at me with large doe eyes when I broke out laughing.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"mini or maxi?"

1. When I worked for the zoo (yeah, I worked there, too. Toldja, I'm kind of old. Ish.) I heard some doozies. Had an adult woman asking after the baby polar bears, which were actually Arctic Foxes in a clearly marked enclosure.

2.The teenage girl who upon looking at a rhino enclosure, and being unable to indentify the rhino inside, starting looking for the board that told about the animal. I'm glad she was at least trying to learn something, but was further dismayed when she pronounced the word as "uhhhhh.....reeno, it says. Reeno."
(I heard this whole conversation while stringing lights from a cherry picker overhead. The stuff you hear. )

3. One pet peeve I had at Kinko's was when students would bring in a paper and ask to have it "binded." As in "I'd like to have this binded." Easily half of them would do this. I'm talking college students. One guy actually said "I'd like this paper bounded." I took it, smiled, and just casually asked, "No problem. English paper?" The quip soared cleanly over his head and splattered dead on the floor in a broken heap. Oh, well.

[Canadian In Maine]

I am a cashier in a grocery store and one question I get all the time while standing at my station is: Can I pay for this here?

Um, where else would you pay except at a cash register???

Best one yet: Which beach is closer to the ocean?

[Jester]

One of my favorites down here in this SMALL ISLAND tourist town:

"Which way is the water?"

Also, as a waiter in a restaurant (any of the ones I have worked in), have never tired of "Do we pay you?" Damn well better pay me. If you pay one of the other servers, they will be happy, but my management and I will be less thrilled.

[HawaiianShirts]

More Animal Foolishness

This one's for RecoveringKinkoid with the zoo experience (and anyone else who has spent more than five minutes outside a city):

Again from my time in Yellowstone. I was driving with some friends/co-workers one afternoon after work to another part of the park to play tourist for a few hours. Traffic had slowed to a near standstill in one place because there was a large bull elk beating up a tree next to the road. As we passed it, I heard this conversation from the car in front of me (windows were all down 'cause it was a nice day).

Kid: What is that, Dad?
Dad: That's a moose, son.
Kid: How can you tell?
Dad: Well, you know it's a moose because it has velvet on its antlers.
Kid: Oh. I thought it was a deer.

Nope. Wrong animal. Wrong way to identify an animal. Kid was closer to the right answer.

[protege]

This gem was uttered by one of the interns at work:

"Does the printer have to be plugged in and on in order to work?











...at this point you should consider that the guy had a 4.0 GPA and was in college.

me up Scotty, no intelligent life down here...

[walking with scissors]

Me: "My office is on the fourth floor."

Him: "What floor is that on?"

[Hempress]

I used to work at an amusement park. We had a rollercoaster that went forwards through the entire track, stopped at the top of the hill, and then went through it backwards. Think about that for a second.

SC: This line is taking forever. Why won't you put a second train on the track?
Me: Because people would die.