Classroom Antics

[Jay 2K Winger]

I may have mentioned this in a thread long ago (and far far away?). I had a high school teacher who decided to make a lasting impression on his class about reading instructions.

He handed out a paper, told us to be very careful to read and follow directions exactly as written, and he'd explain afterwards why.

First thing on the paper was "read over every item to the end of the paper before beginning to actually do any of the items".

Last thing on the paper was "now that you've read all of the items on this paper, simply put your name on the top of the paper, and sit quietly - do not actually DO any of the items".

In between were random things, from complicated math problem, to standing up and walking round your desk, reciting out loud, etc.

Those few of us who actually had followed the directions had quite a floor show.

And at the end of the class the teacher simply asked all those sitting there looking decidedly red-faced & self-conscious, "now, will any of you fail to read the instructions given you in the future:". and sat down.

Ah, yes, I had to do one of those once.

More than once, actually, but I learned after that first one.

It reminds me of this comic

[Shironu-Akaineko]

I did one of those and I was the only one that passed it.

The last line read "If you're the first person to finish this test, say your name out loud."

So of course, shy, self-conscious, bullied little me did so...

Then the rest of the class piped up with their names.

Teacher said I was the only one who passed.

[Merriweather]

oh my god I'm laughing so hard I nearly peed myself!

Glad you liked it. I only remember the contents of two tests in high school - that one, and the one our business teacher decided to give us one day (and yes, it counted as a main test for portions of our final grade). The entire test consisted of questions like "who is buried in Grant's tomb" and "if a plane crashes on the Canadian/US border, where are the survivors buried". To this day I've no idea what point he was trying to make with that one (if, in fact, there really was a point - he was a strange teacher in many ways

[Jetfire]

Also, I'm not sure where you're located, but I'm told that here in Canada teachers are not allowed to refuse to accept late assignments, no matter how late they are (perhaps someone more familiar with the Canadian school system can verify or debunk this?) So then they get into college or university and discover that deadlines there are not optional. And many find it out the hard way.

It varies from district to district I'm sure, but most will allow firm deadlines, at the teacher's descretion.

That said, last spring there was a big hubbub over a teacher in Edmonton who was giving zeroes on incomplete/late/not turned in assignments, and the school suspended him because it was against the district's policy. He's since got a new teaching position in Calgary I believe, and the district itself is under fire for that policy and still trying to justify it while claiming it is "under review"

[lordlundar]

It varies from district to district I'm sure, but most will allow firm deadlines, at the teacher's descretion.

That said, last spring there was a big hubbub over a teacher in Edmonton who was giving zeroes on incomplete/late/not turned in assignments, and the school suspended him because it was against the district's policy. He's since got a new teaching position in Calgary I believe, and the district itself is under fire for that policy and still trying to justify it while claiming it is "under review"

Yup and the excuse they gave was "The grade should be evaluated based on the work done" which I actually agree with, so if at the due date there is nothing submitted, then a nothing would be an accurate score.

[Primer]

BG I teach writing to college freshmen. I generally teach adults (late 20s and up), but this particular class skews pretty young: 19-20-21. /BG

How do grades work?

After handing back some homework, a student grumbled, "I only got a low grade because I didn't do part of the assignment."

At least they turned in something. I have a hard time getting even a partial assignment out of my students.

Further, I was explaining the thesis statement, one of the most important parts of college writing.

"A thesis statement," I explained, "is a single declarative sentence. It sums up the main point of your paper. Declarative means it states something, as in the sentence 'I like cookies.' It is the answer to a question. It cannot be a question such as, 'How do I feel about cookies?' Let's look at some examples. . ."

Student (different than before) raised hand and asked, "Can we include a question in our thesis statement?"

Very deep internal sigh "No, as I just explained, it cannot be a question. You can include rhetorical questions elsewhere in the paper but not in the thesis statement."

I don't know how long you've been teaching, but get used to this type of question, and be grateful that they are even halfway listening, and are asking anything. I usually get the blank silent look, even when I ask, and repeat, a question of the whole class.

Recently we had a work day in the computer lab. It was just us in the lab (about 15 total). I usually let them chat quietly as they work.

For whatever reason (well, because of the upcoming holidays, I'm sure), they were being particularly rowdy and loud. Someone started playing a YouTube video at normal volume.

Finally, I yelled, "Everyone needs to quiet down. People are working. And if you aren't working, I'll give you more to do."

Blessed silence for the next 5 minutes.

I love it! They finally listened!

I normally get to my classroom about 5 minutes early, and usually a few students are already there. However, I arrived just one or two minutes early to my most recent class, the last before the holiday break (the holidays fall during the middle of this term, so we'll be returning in January). I was surprised to see the lights were out in the room, but who knows, maybe everyone was still eating holiday treats in the cafeteria.

I flipped on the lights and to my surprise, they were all sitting there.

"Well, we thought you'd see the lights were off and leave. Then we could all go home early," they explained.

At least my student could not try to pull this one on me. I generally have the first class meeting in the room for the day. I tend to get there when the building opens so that I can get put together and decompress from traffic. I also hold my office hours in the classroom before class. As an adjunct, I don't rate an office, even after 20+ years. But for the few habitually early folks, I'm there if they have any questions about anything.

I only remember the contents of two tests in high school - that one, and the one our business teacher decided to give us one day (and yes, it counted as a main test for portions of our final grade). The entire test consisted of questions like "who is buried in Grant's tomb" and "if a plane crashes on the Canadian/US border, where are the survivors buried". To this day I've no idea what point he was trying to make with that one (if, in fact, there really was a point - he was a strange teacher in many ways

The point of that test is to try to get the student to stop and think before answering. However, that seems to be an impossible goal these days.

I also write the daily assignment up on the board, and make a point of posting deadlines on the daily schedule (that is handed out on the first day of class), on the board starting at least a week ahead of time, and on BlackBoard, and emailing them out to the whole class a week ahead of time. Invariably, I get someone who says, "I forgot."

Now you understand my title up by my icon.

[ArcticChicken]

I had a high school teacher who decided to make a lasting impression on his class about reading instructions.

I had that test in 5th grade, and I was literally the only person to pass.

[Sapphire Silk]

"So, if we use the textbook, we have to cite it?"

Ugh. I get this issue all the time. My students have to do four case studies during the semester. They are specifically told they MUST have three references from a nursing source, and canNOT use their textbooks as a source.

Every time, I get case studies that rely on the textbook and/or rely on lay medical information like WebMD, but include nothing written by nurses.

Further, I was explaining the thesis statement, one of the most important parts of college writing.

<snip>

Very deep internal sigh "No, as I just explained, it cannot be a question. You can include rhetorical questions elsewhere in the paper but not in the thesis statement."

Another major headache. You'd be amazed how many graduate level nurses, working on a Master's degree, don't know what a thesis statement, and express shock that I, a fellow nurse, would dare to grade them on things like spelling, grammar, and punctuation. One such, after getting a flunking grade on an assignment largely driven by not reading the Rubrics they are provided, had the audacity to ask me where my nursing compassion was.

It took all my self control not to answer, "with your patients."

There is a short list of "banned" topics. I've written before about how students feel this infringes upon their First Amendment rights.

That didn't happen this time, but inevitably, several students submitted topics that were on the banned list. And I don't mean in a "sorta kinda" way, I mean in a "Writing about gun control is banned" "My topic is gun control" way.

This policy really is in their best interest. Freshman college students don't generally have the academic experience to tell the difference between reliable sources of information and unreliable sources (ie, conspiracy theorists vs people who really know the subject regardless of their stance on it), and may interpret a poor grade with the instructor having a bias against their point of view. English 101 really isn't the place for debates on complex social issues.

I'll sometimes tackle controversial subjects in my ADN class. For example, I've assigned the topic of vaccinations and autism in my OB class, and had my students look at various aspects of health care reform when the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) was being debated. But I set clear ground rules beforehand to keep things civil, and it works, and the topic is directly related to a major concept I'm teaching in the course.

I flipped on the lights and to my surprise, they were all sitting there.

I did this to my 11th grade English teacher. She was late getting to class (very late, over 10 minutes), and the classroom was locked. There weren't any teachers around to let us in, and we all wanted to sit. So I used my driver's license to pick the lock, and let everyone in. Someone got the idea for us to sit in the dark and scare her when she came in.

She was wondering aloud where everyone was when she opened the door and flipped on the sight to see us all sitting there grinning at her. She couldn't figure out how we got into the room-- no one would tell her and I didn't confess.

Years ago I was taking a German history course and the teacher handed out the general class outline -- can't remember what the official name is just ATM. One of the points on it was that if you handed a paper in late without a valid reason (e.g. something in writing) your paper would not be accepted.

One of my colleagues in the history department had a great way for students to drop off late papers. There was a sign on the wall outside his office with an arrow pointing to where students could drop off their late work.

It pointed into a trash can.

I don't accept late work, and the Chair hasn't given me grief over my policy since I explain it on the first day of class, and it's in the syllabus.

I do have to accept late work for my other teaching gig, but only up to one week, and I can take 20% off. I can and do grant extensions to any of my students if they ask ahead of time, and their reason is even slightly plausible.

If they claim military obligations or jury duty, they have to submit a copy of their orders or a copy of their summons.

Also, I'm not sure where you're located, but I'm told that here in Canada teachers are not allowed to refuse to accept late assignments, no matter how late they are (perhaps someone more familiar with the Canadian school system can verify or debunk this?) So then they get into college or university and discover that deadlines there are not optional. And many find it out the hard way.

Many school in the US have issues with those kinds of policies. A very good friend of mine quit teaching in a private school because she was not allowed to give a zero for work that wasn't done or turned in, and was forced to change grades for the pwecious spawn of EW's with money who never ever got less than an A on anything. Public schools can run into similar problems, according to other friends who teach. YMMV depending on the school district and whether or not the administration has a spine.

A lot of my students have learned lessons like these the hard way, though: I do not lower my standards for anybody. You either get with the program, or you flunk out.

[lordlundar]

I did this to my 11th grade English teacher. She was late getting to class (very late, over 10 minutes), and the classroom was locked. There weren't any teachers around to let us in, and we all wanted to sit. So I used my driver's license to pick the lock, and let everyone in. Someone got the idea for us to sit in the dark and scare her when she came in.

She was wondering aloud where everyone was when she opened the door and flipped on the sight to see us all sitting there grinning at her. She couldn't figure out how we got into the room-- no one would tell her and I didn't confess.

I had a similar incident during my Grade 8 Industrial Arts class. The teacher was running a bit late and we wanted to get in and sit down in the class area (there were 3 areas; classroom, design lam and machine lab, all with separate locks) so one of the students decided to try to pick the lock in much the same way. Slight problem with it because the sloped part of the latch faced inward and the other side had a guard plate making it difficult if not impossible to pick with a card.

Not to be undaunted this classmate was trying as the teacher came up behind and put the key in the lock while saying "I think this would work better." Cue everyone but the attempted lock picker laughing and the attempted picker showing new shades of crimson.

Also, I'm not sure where you're located, but I'm told that here in Canada teachers are not allowed to refuse to accept late assignments, no matter how late they are (perhaps someone more familiar with the Canadian school system can verify or debunk this?) So then they get into college or university and discover that deadlines there are not optional. And many find it out the hard way.

Eh, sort of and it depends on the district. It's part of the "No Zero" policy where a teacher cannot assign a zero for an assignment. When I was in school for example the teachers could easily refuse to accept assignments after the due date, but they were required to mark the assignment as incomplete.

[Kheldarson]

Many school in the US have issues with those kinds of policies. A very good friend of mine quit teaching in a private school because she was not allowed to give a zero for work that wasn't done or turned in, and was forced to change grades for the pwecious spawn of EW's with money who never ever got less than an A on anything. Public schools can run into similar problems, according to other friends who teach. YMMV depending on the school district and whether or not the administration has a spine.

A lot of my students have learned lessons like these the hard way, though: I do not lower my standards for anybody. You either get with the program, or you flunk out.

The school district I taught in had this sort of policy. If it was a zero, you made it a 60. Idea was that it's easier to come back from a 60 than a zero.

Not that it helped with getting the students to turn it in in the first place...

[manybellsdown]

Ugh. I get this issue all the time. My students have to do four case studies during the semester. They are specifically told they MUST have three references from a nursing source, and canNOT use their textbooks as a source.

Every time, I get case studies that rely on the textbook and/or rely on lay medical information like WebMD, but include nothing written by nurses.

I went back to school these last few years, and even classes of adults can't get this crap right. I was editing a group paper and a 35 year old woman had cited a Wikipedia talk page as a source.

[Jester]

"I only got a low grade because I didn't do part of the assignment."

Precisely! Maybe this moron actually learned something!

"Well, we thought you'd see the lights were off and leave. Then we could all go home early," they explained.

Okay, if they were joking around, that's one thing. If they were serious, then they are clearly freakin' idiots, and I wonder how they ever got into college in the first place.

The kids probably spent weeks plotting that.

The trouble we caused various teachers, and the plots we plotted, were far more vicious and evil, and not nearly so freakin' stupid.

...if you handed a paper in late without a valid reason (e.g. something in writing) your paper would not be accepted.

I had a college biology course in which the professor made it damn clear that there were NO makeup exams. If you missed an exam, tough noogies, pal. The ONLY exceptions were death of a close family member (with documentation), death of the student, or nuclear war. (No documentation was required for the latter two.)

Well, for one such test, I was up late the night before cramming studying, and overslept badly. How badly? Well, the class started at 12:40 pm, and I woke up at 12:56. I looked at the clock, and freaked. And was fully dressed, on my bike, and zipping from my dorm to the class by 12:57.

Got to the classroom around 1:05 of 1:10. The class ended at 1:30, by which time if you weren't done with the test, tough noogies, because you WERE done with the test. So I rushed in, grabbed a test from a surprised looking TA, sat down, and started flying through the test as fast as I could, fueled by adrenaline and paranoia that I wouldn't finish in time.

I finished the test at 1:25. Looked at the clock, looked at the test, looked back at the clock. But I knew I had known the vast majority of the answers, and the ones I didn't know, I knew I didn't know them. So I handed the test in to an even more surprised looking TA, to whom I just shrugged and smiled, and left, much to the confusion of the TA and the other students who had been there the whole time and were still taking the test.

I aced it.

Last thing on the paper was "now that you've read all of the items on this paper, simply put your name on the top of the paper, and sit quietly - do not actually DO any of the items".

Classic.

I have a hard time getting even a partial assignment out of my students.

I learned early on, in both junior high and high school, that the best way to fail a class was to not do the work, i.e., not do the assignments. Hell, as far back as second grade, I learned the lesson of not handing in assignments. To THIS DAY, my mother will bring up an assignment I never handed in in second grade. No, I am NOT joking.

By the time I got to college, things got even more serious. Many of my professors and teachers made it very clear that they didn't give a flying fuck whether or not we showed up for class, showed up for tests, or handed in assignments. We were paying for college, and what we got out of it would be tied to what we put into it. And if we didn't want to put anything into it, and thus waste our/our parents'/the government's money, that was fine by them, but we shouldn't expect them to bail us out with favorable grades/preferential treatment/special treatment if we didn't do the work.

Basically, they said it was OUR job to sink or swim, and not THEIR job to throw us a life preserver.

One such, after getting a flunking grade on an assignment largely driven by not reading the Rubrics they are provided, had the audacity to ask me where my nursing compassion was.

It took all my self control not to answer, "with your patients."

I probably wouldn't have been so nice.

But that's besides the point. Nursing compassion is for one's patients. Your students are not your patients, and are not there to heal or get well, but there to learn how to be competent nurses themselves. Therefore, as a teacher, your nursing compassion doesn't come into play--nor should it.

One of my colleagues in the history department had a great way for students to drop off late papers. There was a sign on the wall outside his office with an arrow pointing to where students could drop off their late work.

It pointed into a trash can.

Another classic!

I do not lower my standards for anybody. You either get with the program, or you flunk out.

And your students are probably better for it, and the ones who pass are probably far better at what they do. To this day I remember my toughest managers and trainers, and I don't mean the ones who were just being douchey, but the ones who expected and demanded only the best.

A lot of my coworkers wonder why I work so hard. I wonder why they don't.

[wolfie]

Another major headache. You'd be amazed how many graduate level nurses, working on a Master's degree, don't know what a thesis statement, and express shock that I, a fellow nurse, would dare to grade them on things like spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

Of course spelling is important for a nurse. Just imagine what would happen if, due to incorrect spelling, a patient were given Xanax instead of Xantac, or were treated for hypotension when they had hypertension.

[Sapphire Silk]

Of course spelling is important for a nurse. Just imagine what would happen if, due to incorrect spelling, a patient were given Xanax instead of Xantac, or were treated for hypotension when they had hypertension.

It's a huge problem in health care, actually. There are a LOT of drugs with similar sounding and spelled names.

They've even changed how we write orders and document.

We can't write qd for every day, because it's too similar to qid or four times a day.

We have to put a zero before a decimal to clarify the dose, but not AFTER a whole number in case the decimal is over looked (making 5.0 turn into 50).

[draftermatt]

It took all my self control not to answer, "with your patients."

Might have done her some good...

One of the students in my wife's RN classes was actually told on numerous occasions by the director of the nursing program as well as different teachers that she should change majors.

It actually had nothing to do with her classroom work as she damn near aced every test. It had everything to do with Clinicals. She was terrible, no bedside manor, terrible in a crisis, etc.

She didn't take their advice, passed and is now an RN.

Who frequently stands in the room while codes are called and literally does nothing but stare at what is going on.

By the time I got to college, things got even more serious... We were paying for college, and what we got out of it would be tied to what we put into it. And if we didn't want to put anything into it, and thus waste our/our parents'/the government's money, that was fine by them...

I don't think I had a professor who didn't have this opinion while in college.