White Van Man: This Is War!

[Lace Neil Singer]

We've been having trouble with a white van man illegally parking on the forecourt. For those not in the know, the forecourt is a no parking area due to fire regulations, cept for customers popping in for shopping in the kiosk or emergency vehicles. This guy is neither. He sticks his giant white van on the forecourt then buggers off for several hours to do his shopping, go round the town etc. He has gone thru every single rank of command here, and now he's reached the limit. We've been told that if he returns, to call the police.

I really hope I'm in that day, cuz it'll be really entertaining. Is it wrong for me to long for White Van Man's comeuppance?

[VComps]

In a word: no.


Neil, you may want to explain the tyranny of the common or garden White Van Man to those not from the UK - that way nobody would hold it against you!

[Geek King]

Wait, NEXT TIME? You mean he wasn't towed after the first hour of being in a fire lane? Someone is way too soft.

[MistressOfTangents]

In a word: no.

I agree but please tell us all about it if he does

[Lace Neil Singer]

We're not allowed to tow illegal parkers, unfortunately; or get a clamp, which is what I and others most want to do. XD It's got nothing to do with being soft, our rules are different here.

For those not in the know, here's a definition of a White Van Man.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...te%20van%20man

A threat to road safety, these kinds of so-called drivers spend their time wolf-whistling at women, making stupid gestures with their hands at passers-by and generally carrying on as though they're on the dodgems. They can be found in vans of any colour, or other vehicles such as lorries, but the white van seems to have become traditional with people whose IQs are lower than their shoe size. They are often fat and reckon they're well'ard and'll give yer a slap, yer know wot I mean, mate?

[PepperElf]

I really hope I'm in that day, cuz it'll be really entertaining. Is it wrong for me to long for White Van Man's comeuppance?

If it's wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

[taxguykarl]

Summon Agrabaga (or at least his UK couterpart). That will put an end to that nonsense.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Do we have a UK Counterpart for Agrabaga?

[Argabarga]

Summon Agrabaga (or at least his UK couterpart).

You rang guv'ner? Now what's all this ere' then?

[dalesys]

You rang guv'ner? Now what's all this ere' then?

Now if we'd "You rang, tan?" we'd have gotten The Librarian.

[Der Cute]

WhiteManVan aka Chav Limo

[rapana1]

HA! I Knew it!!!
For years now I have maintained that just about everyone who drives a white van is a terrible driver. Very few people believe me.
It's very vindicating to see that, at least in the UK, this is an actual Thing. XD

[wolfie]

We're not allowed to tow illegal parkers, unfortunately; or get a clamp, which is what I and others most want to do. XD It's got nothing to do with being soft, our rules are different here.

WTF? How are you supposed to deal with people who park illegally? Are you allowed to do a Sgt. Schultz impersonation ("I saw nothing, nothing, NOTHING") if someone steals the illegally parked vehicle?

[Chromatix]

You have to get someone involved who is authorised to deal with vehicular offences. That might be a traffic warden or a police officer. Unfortunately there aren't really enough of them around to just hope one will notice it on their own.

You can't just call a private towing company or fit a clamp yourself - this restriction is due to cowboys abusing their ability to do so.

[LillFilly]

You want to bet that when he FINALLY gets in trouble, that he'll argue "but I've parked there for AGES and nobody ever said anything!!!"