White Van Man: This Is War!

[Lace Neil Singer]

All we can do is first have a manager speak to the offender, then hand out one of the letters that the big boss has; basically saying "park here again and we'll set the bizzies on to you"; afterwards, if they still keep on doing it, we call the police and the police either tow the van if the offender isn't there, or nick him if he is. Either way, it'll work out.

In my dreams, I want to put a gigantic clamp on his van and then film his reaction when he returns to see it...

[RealUnimportant]

You want to bet that when he FINALLY gets in trouble, that he'll argue "but I've parked there for AGES and nobody ever said anything!!!"

We had someone get blocked into a staff bay for a couple of hours recently... They took it in reasonable humour, didn't even come in to threaten us to move the blocking vehicle - they knew they shouldn't park there, but they'd gotten away with it before. Not seen them come back since though!

[Bunny the Veggie Slayer]

We're not allowed to tow illegal parkers, unfortunately; or get a clamp, which is what I and others most want to do. XD It's got nothing to do with being soft, our rules are different here.

For those not in the know, here's a definition of a White Van Man.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...te%20van%20man

Or as Andy Parsons said when asked to describe an unlikely superhero...

"I'm sexist. I'm racist. And I drive like a twat...

I am White Van Man!"

[protege]

In my dreams, I want to put a gigantic clamp on his van and then film his reaction when he returns to see it...

Bugger that. Get Charlie Croker & company...to blow his bloody doors off

[Argabarga]

Well, they're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.... we can't be held responsible if they do a bit more

[Mr Hero]

He deserves a tow truck. It's not war. It's pest control.

[VComps]

Do we have a UK Counterpart for Agrabaga?

Some say... His flatbed strikes terror into the hearts of millions, and that when he goes to the gym, he only does wheel lifts.

All we know is, he's not Argabarga. He's Argabarga's English cousin!

[sms001]

Now if we'd "You rang, tan?" we'd have gotten The Librarian.

Crikey dale, stop monkeying aroun..........arrrggggg!!@$#% ack.

[Dadeo]

Summon Agrabaga (or at least his UK couterpart). That will put an end to that nonsense.

Argybargy?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Argybargy?

Try saying his name 3 times in a row, like you would Beetlejuice.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I, too, am among the people awaiting White Van Man's comeuppance.

He deserves a tow truck. It's not war. It's pest control.

Some say... His flatbed strikes terror into the hearts of millions, and that when he goes to the gym, he only does wheel lifts.

All we know is, he's not Argabarga. He's Argabarga's English cousin!

These two lines right here? A Doctor Who reference and a Top Gear reference? Are why I love this site.

[the lawsmeister]

perhaps leave a jack unattended out the front and let nature take its course.
Years ago I'd have thought that even the dimmest criminals would recognise that as a sting but if reading this forum has taught me anything its that there's always someone willing to go that extra mile and do something truly stupid.

Failing that, stick an A4 printed page that says "free van" to his windows.

[rapana1]

Failing that, stick an A4 printed page that says "free van" to his windows.

YES
THIS

[downforit2008]

White Van Man might have been at my store, but he had a Ferrari at the time when he parked it in the fire lane, and I laughed with glee when a tow truck took that car away after he had been gone for 5 minutes!!!

[Argabarga]

Failing that, stick an A4 printed page that says "free van" to his windows.

Reminds me, there was an old computer "adventure game" I played where this was the solution to a puzzle. There was a car parked on top of an item you needed to get, but every time you got close to it, the alarm would go off and the owner would come out and tell you to leave his car alone.

The "solution" was to find a marker in another puzzle and then write "FREE CAR" on the sign he was parked next to, which caused a hooligan to immediately run out of the bushes, steal the car, and leave you free to get the item