Day 4: (With Audio Bonus...)

[Gravekeeper]

Short but...er....ok maybe not sweet.





Um...

I passed a call to the On Call for <client name>….who then called on <another client we also answer for> and got me again. Thus he rendered this opinion:

OC: "God, this is like dating your sister. Know what I mean?"

Uh….no, actually I don't. I don't exactly have that kind of experience to draw upon…..and I'm mildly disturbed you apparently do.



Spazzcakes

SC: "A cab a cab a cab a cab a cab a cab a cab a cab-"
Me: "Good evening, <company name not even remotely like a cab>."
SC: "Is this a cab!?"

Whoa! Easy girl! Calm down, take a deep breath! Ok, easy does it. Have you calmed down a bit? Yes? Good. Alright, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is you did somehow manage to locate and operate a telephone. Yes, I know, even I'm surprised and impressed. The bad news is that’s about as far as you got as you have failed on a colossal level to contact the service you were trying to reach. But don't worry! With that kind of single minded frothing determination I'm sure you'll get it eventually.



God, they have jobs too

Caller was fired, so he figured he would call the emergency line. You know, the one for death, injury, etc. Clearly the right place to be calling. So why was he fired, you ask? Well, he's only be working there for 30 days and out of that 30 he's been late 8 days, sick 3 days, didn't show up 1 day and when he does show up he's unshaven and disheveled.

So of course when he was fired he thinks its totally unfair. Yes, definitely unfair. Has nothing with him having the work ethic of a drunken hobo. Clearly its all their fault. Those damn, dirty apes.



867

Me: "and what would you like to order?"
SC: "…uh…..er….."

Oh come on. That IS why you called isn't it? I mean ok, some of you might forget your name, or not be able to spell your name, or not be able to tell me where you live…..or even the general area you're in…..but! You're all calling for one reason: To obtain hats. That's the one constant. How can you possibly have failed on that single most important issue? If you don't know what you want……why did you even call? What the hell? No, seriously. Get back here. I demand an explanation. Sit yer arse down and explain yourself. Why in the sam hell did you call? Answer me, young man!



Smile With Your Voice

That's the little reminder that pops up on our system when you first log in. "Smile with your voice." Hey, I tried.

Language warning ><

http://www.customerssuck.com/media/g...eper/death.mp3



(Thanks again to Rap for the file hosting)

[thegiraffe]

Ha! I love the "good morning to you, too!" part. That sounds like something I'd say.

[powerboy]

What the hell was the guys problem. I also love the good morning part. I would have said that too.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Sometimes I want your job gravekeeper. I love getting shit and then replying politely. They then are either confused or get even more pissed off.

Since I'm so bloody cute tho, once they get in the store, Michel never believes them when they say I was rude and name calling. (Which I know is false. I can't go as low as them, I'll snap my back.)

Some, upon seeing me, even apologize!

[ShockQueen]

I think that guy's brain shorted out when you gave him the sugar-coated treatment. He might have expected you to cop an attitude back to him, and when you didn't, he ran out of gas. BRAVO!

[Kara]

Sometimes I want your job gravekeeper. I love getting shit and then replying politely. They then are either confused or get even more pissed off.

I find it's easier to keep my cool on the phones. I didn't think I'd like getting screamed at all day, but it's probably the best job I've ever had. The company pays us well and has a lot of benefits to keep us coming in every day to face the abuse.

The best part is that now when a customer is yelling at me, I'm not getting showered with spittle, and they can't see the faces (and gestures) I'm making on my side of the line.

Gravekeeper, how does the company allow you to record your own calls? Or.... is it not a matter of what they allow you to do?

[BusBus]

867

Me: "and what would you like to order?"
SC: "…uh…..er….."

Oh come on. That IS why you called isn't it? I mean ok, some of you might forget your name, or not be able to spell your name, or not be able to tell me where you live…..or even the general area you're in…..but! You're all calling for one reason: To obtain hats. That's the one constant. How can you possibly have failed on that single most important issue? If you don't know what you want……why did you even call? What the hell? No, seriously. Get back here. I demand an explanation. Sit yer arse down and explain yourself. Why in the sam hell did you call? Answer me, young man!

Is there any particular reason why the folks up north have to order hats via phone? Have these speciments been banned from every Zellers and Walmart up north (I know they have them up there) and therefore have to resort to ordering them in?

You also sounded exactly like somebody I use to date in your audio, to the point where I am actually creeped out

[Shironu-Akaineko]

I find it's easier to keep my cool on the phones.

Me I'm more uncomfortable on the phone, I once called a woman "sir".
Some co-workers tried to play a prank on me on my first day alone, calling me and going bugnuts about a cake reservation that was "lost"...
They had to try twice, once in french, once in english to try and break me but it didn't work...

In between they asked of I had bean muffins. I told them to come see for themselves since they were using the store line and therefore, they were INSIDE the store.

The third time (the english cake prank) they called outside the store and I simply told them "Look, you tried that in french earlier. Switching phones is good, translating the joke in english with the exact same voice is not. I'm working. bubye!"

By that time I was pissed, but being pissed only drives me to work harder and get more focused.

[Becks]

Caller was fired, so he figured he would call the emergency line. You know, the one for death, injury, etc. Clearly the right place to be calling. So why was he fired, you ask? Well, he's only be working there for 30 days and out of that 30 he's been late 8 days, sick 3 days, didn't show up 1 day and when he does show up he's unshaven and disheveled.

Does the 30 days include weekends or other such days off?

[Kara]

Me I'm more uncomfortable on the phone, I once called a woman "sir".

That happens. But customers do it to us, too. I get called "sir" from time to time, which shows how much the customer is paying attention.

My thing is, I don't like people very much, and I especially don't like talking to them. By all accounts, I should be totally miserable, but I've been with the company for 3 years and I have no plans on leaving (until I get published and can support myself as a writer). For some inexplicable reason, I want to get up in the morning and go to work. I get as many psychos as Gravekeeper in any given day, and I'll tell you all about them, but the vast majority are sensible people I don't mind talking to. Still, I am happy where I am, and I don't know why. I've only had 2 prior jobs in the last 10 years I've been employed. Kroger was okay (if you don't mind not getting paid much, which was fine in high school), but Circuit City was a nightmare (I took way too much crap from the manager and shed way too many tears over that job for way too long). Neither of those jobs were as customer-intense as this one. But I love it.

[Gravekeeper]

Well, I work tough hours I guess (11 to 7:30am) and deal with a lot of...well, you know by now. But I don't hate my job or anything. In fact I see it as a form of entertainment =p If I didn't I'd probably snap, ehe.

I never, ever actually get upset by callers. I can usually talk down the angry ones and just amuse myself with the total psychotics.

As for recording my calls, well every call is recorded for QA purposes and in case we ever need to say retrieve a number that an operator inputted wrong or something. Or compare a SC's accusation to what actually happened. Or in case we need to hand it over as evidence to the cops ( I've had that happen with one of my calls before. >< ).

All of the supervisors (Well, some of them) have access to the call audio (Such as moi). As long as I remove names, etc from the recording and don't pull out stuff thats actually serious its fine. Basically the nutjobs are free game.

I've had the network admin pull out my call recordings before just for a laugh. ><

[Gravekeeper]

You also sounded exactly like somebody I use to date in your audio, to the point where I am actually creeped out

Er....<scratches chin> some I doubt you're any of my exes. ^^

[BusBus]

Er....<scratches chin> some I doubt you're any of my exes. ^^

I seriously doubt it as well (writing style, avatar, job etc...don't jive with this particular ex). It was just your voice on this particular audio clip. My eyes just bulged when I heard it

[Ljt09863]

Hey BusBus, your not alone in a way, except he does't sound like an ex of mine. he sound likea friend i used to hang out with awhile back. they both have the same sense of humor and relaxed attitude, but i think they are two seperate people. i miss my friend...welost touch for some reason.

[iradney]

AHAHAHAHA
OMG
I just listened to that audio file...now, everyone in my house is convinced I'm certifiable! That perky good morning...So perky! So cheerful!