"You're really going to lose my business over [reason]?"

[Kusanagi]

I know we all have these stories. A customer gets indignant and asks "You're really going to risk losing my business over..." and they give you a reason, in that condescending tone that just says "What are you, stupid?"

Now regardless of me thinking in the back of my head "Not as dumb as you..." I have a story I want to share that happens in my showroom quite a bit.

I finally lipped off to a customer and at any other company, I would have gotten in trouble. But not this one!

We are a showroom - we display furniture, we do not have the warehouse there. The actual storage warehouse is a few hours north of us since it services all of California, and we wanted it in a nice central place.

As a result, we charge for delivery. Alot. One of the promotions we have is $300 for two pieces of furniture. It costs $120 to deliver and assemble them as they need to be put together when we get out there.

We CAN NOT get around delivery. It is fixed. You don't want it? Pick it up at the warehouse.

Well, the ad we run does state that delivery charges may apply. They do, unless you pick them up. But we all know nobody reads the fine print!

So this guy comes in off the promo for $300. He likes them, and when I tell him the delivery fee, he predictably has a heart attack and immediately starts to blame me.

SC: WHAAAA? That's ridiculous! I'm not going to pay that much for delivery!
Me: (has had this conversation so many times now it isn't funny anymore) Well, they need ot be assembled, and they are imports from China. We put them together when we come out there.
SC: I'm sure you can waive that fee. You're a big company, one time won't hurt. Bring them here and I'll pick them up
Me: Actually, it would. The 120 is what the drivers charge US to make the delivery, wether it goes to your home or the showroom to be picked up.
SC: That's stupid. I'm not going to pay 120 for them to bring it here.
Me: The only time someone has something brought here to the showroom is if they plan on taking it down to Mexico. Then they can pick it up here but since they don't have a domestic address, we bring it here but they still get charged.

(Side note: NEVER had anyone who did that argue the delivery fee. Most were very grateful with it!)

SC: This is unbelievable. You must really not want to make this sale...

This is the part where they talk in a tone like they're trying oh-so-hard to help you by gracing you with the priviledge of swiping their credit card. Would you like master's shoes to be licked as well?

Me: :shrugs: That's our policy. You can have them delivered or pick them up.

Wait for it...

SC: You're really going to lose my business over not waiving the delivery fee? That doesn't seem like good business, son. You need to learn how to treat your customers better.

Now, normally, what I say in this situation is "Well, nobody else has these pieces at this price, even with the delivery. Our competitor has them for $600 and they give you free delivery. But you're still paying almost $200 more than you need to." I'll tweak variations of that around many times depending on the mood either myself or the customer is in, but the condescending tone he said it in just really pissed me off. I fired back with:

Me: You're really going to miss out on this fantastic bargain because you don't want to pay the delivery fee?

Oh boy, did hell break loose with that comment. He started to condescend to me, yelling I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know my product, insulted my long hair, etc.

I eventually told him off by saying that despite his claims I DID in fact know our policies, our procedures, and our product better than he did.

Final exchange:

SC: I demand to speak to the manager!
Me: (Trying not to laugh as it's OBVIOUS I'm the only one here, we don't have a back room, unless you count the alley) I am the manager.
SC: Well you go off all you want about policies and fees and all that other bull. Why the hell did they make you a manager anyway?
Me: Because I actually follow those policies and procedures and do not break them.

Guy walked out, got an angry phone call later, hung up on him. If he wants the promotion bad enough because we ARE cheaper, he'll be back. And I'll forget the whole thing happened and just be as nauseously cheerful as I was initially when he comes back in.

I'm imagining this comes up in cellphones, cable, and other services.

"You're going to lose my business over this late fee you don't want to waive? Maybe I should go to [competing carrier]."

Don't you ever just want to shoot back with "Feel free, sir, just so you know, they require a two year contract, have higher rates than us, and a set up fee of two hundred dollars. Just thought I could save you some time by knowing that."

If they don't have the money to pay the fee what the hell makes them think that they have the money to start fresh elsewhere?

Anyone else have stories like this? What's the most outrageous thing a customer has tried to use as leverage to keep their business?

[jedifarfy]

I get it a lot at the bookstore. They don't seem to realize that we can't carry every single book, and sometimes popular books (THE SECRET ) are sold out. "Fine, I'll get it at Borders/Amazon/random small bookstore". Whatever, have fun!

[karma_gypsy]

Me: You're really going to miss out on this fantastic bargain because you don't want to pay the delivery fee?

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Classic. Good comeback. I'm lovin' it. The SC got what he had coming to him. Seriously, the trucks that do the deliving . . . are they the big semi trucks? Those trucks don't come cheap, especially with gas prices these days, plus the driver has to get paid, plus the furniture needs to be put together.

[Kusanagi]

They're about the biggest trucks you can get without being split into a tractor/trailer.

And with gas the way it is at about $3.10 a gallon right now, we might have to raise our prices on that as well.

[The cat whisperer]

I had one woman say she was going to our competitors because our Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire showtimes were sold out on opening night. And she just knew we could get her, her husband, and four kids in if we wanted too. After repeatedlly telling her no using different phrasing, explanations and etc. she fired off the classic line. says it all.

[nekoro]

"Uninstalling your software is not the service I paid for. I could easily take my business to (competing anti-virus)."

The reason this is funny? Our software is free.

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

[
On the SC's side I would expect the delivery fee to be included on the price so that i'd know that i've had enough to pay for the furnature and I would be schocked at the $120 fee.

On your side of him saying that he doesn't want that sale is no big deal if the place is quite busy. That guy doesn't know that you can only say something like that to the owner of the business if he expects changes like having someone want a sale.

[Imogene]

"I'm going to WalMart!"
Go ahead, I can't stop you, and do I look like a runner to you? You'd be out of the mall long before I was out of the store.

[CrazedClerk]

I work in the cell phone business now and I often hear "fine, I can get a better deal from Verizon/Cingular/T-Mobile/etc."

The funny thing is most cellular providers charge very comparable rates.

That's funny Kus. 300 + 120 delivery = 420 which is still way cheaper than the 600 you mentioned other places would have it.

[AFpheonix]

I had one of my moron customers finally threaten to go elsewhere. I think he was a little put off that we didn't beg him to stay.
He's one of those guys who has to have brand Oxycontin, he gets it every month, and rather than drop it off and come back later, he always sits and waits. He gets a large amount of 2 different strengths and he always comes when it's busy, so yeah, it takes awhile to get it ready to go.

He came up last time and started in with, "I know you guys are really busy, and I see you running around, but why does it take so long for you to get my meds done?"

Uhhhhh....I think you just answered that question yourself. We are a busy pharmacy. I have quite a few emergency scripts in the works right now, and the damn phone is ringing off the hook, and the drive through line is out onto the street. You do the math.

"Well...my receipt says that I'm a VIP customer, I think mine should be done ahead of everyone elses'. The other store doesn't take as long."

We do your script in the order it's received and by indicated pick-up time. You are not special. The other store does less than half of our script count, so yes, they will have a faster turn around than we do. I'll guarantee that they won't have your meds consistently in stock like we do, though.

Oh well. He'll come back anyways and totally disappoint me. They always do. Bleah.

[Kusanagi]

[
On the SC's side I would expect the delivery fee to be included on the price so that i'd know that i've had enough to pay for the furnature and I would be schocked at the $120 fee.

On your side of him saying that he doesn't want that sale is no big deal if the place is quite busy. That guy doesn't know that you can only say something like that to the owner of the business if he expects changes like having someone want a sale.

Nobody around here offers free delivery anymore - there's always some sort of fee. Of all the stores we compete with, it ranges drastically depending on number of pieces, where it's going, etc. Some places have a flat charge - ours ranges, we have a big piece of paper with all the charges on it.

The only company here that offers free delivery jacks their prices up, as in, $3000 for a couch that costs $800 to make.

They still screw the customer. Customers see the FREE delivery and once they get something for free they'll spend so much more. It's a very successful marketing tactic that works. Who hasn't bought more than one item to get another one free?

So, assuming they charge the same in delivery as we do, thats still roughly $2000 in pure profit that greases the pockets of the big wigs. We thought about doing that, but we decided we want to be an honest company and keep the furniture prices down as low as we could.

[BusyBee]

Every now and then - but sadly too often to be called "rare" - I get customers like this about late fees on their account. (I work at a movie/console game rental store.)
"You're really going to make me pay that late fee? If you don't waive it I'll go to [competitor]!"
Looking at the account info it usually turns out that
1) the late fee is a substantial amount ($20 or more... often a LOT more).
2) Their account is Inactive which means they haven't hired out with us in well over a year anyway, usually 2 or more years.
3) They've hired out (for example) 100 movies with us and returned 75 of them late. I lurrve that our computer system keeps track of all of this... including just how much in late fees they've owed/paid in the past.
"Yes sir, I'll absolutely waive that late fee, which is against company policy and will get me in a lot of trouble, which you've owed us for a year and a half an have obviously been avoiding the store because of it, so that you can use that coupon you got in the mail, rent out all these movies, and keep them for a week past their due date, just like everything else you've rented from us!"

[powerboy]

When I am buying something, and it needs to be shipped from somewhere else, then I am going to expect a fee.

[po'drph]

Ah, the old "I'm going to take my business elsewhere" threat. I'm a pharmacist and what some people don't realize when buying medicine is that when you have rx insurance (which a vast majority of people have) you pay the same price at my pharmacy as you would if you trekked across the country to a pharmacy out in bum f**k Egypt. I have a simple saying for my customers who don't understand this and bitch about price. "If you want the medicine, buy it, if you don't want it, leave it here"

[Banrion]

[
On the SC's side I would expect the delivery fee to be included on the price so that i'd know that i've had enough to pay for the furnature and I would be schocked at the $120 fee.

Why should the delivery fee be included for everyone, when not everyone is going to have it delivered? The customer has the option of picking up at the warehouse, thereby avoiding the delivery fee. If he really felt that it was that out of line, he would go rent a U-haul and pick it up at the warehouse, but it is very likely that the 100+ miles round trip, + truck rental would be considerably more than the mere $120.00 the store was charging.


I don't think anyone around this area even pretends to have free furniture delivery anymore. Since Bob for a while used to run commercials about exactly how much it cost him for his fleet of trucks, fuel, and employees. While most people in New England find Bob to be quite annoying, I have to say when I bought my bedroom set, I was not pressured by the sales people, and got very decent furniture. 5 years later the only problem I have had was a split bedrail that was my fault, and was easily fixed with some gorilla glue. Bob's charged me $170.00 for delivery of a Queen headboard/footboard & rails, 2 piece armoire, nightstand, bureau and dresser.