"You're really going to lose my business over [reason]?"

[Tigress]

Oh, yes, the stories I could tell about fees and what these morons will do to get rid of them. The latest one I had was a lady who was upset that our company charged her $40 to hook up her new phone service. Now, she was previously with Bellsouth, which I used to work for, and they always charged a fee like this due to time, materials and manpower were needed to hook up the phone. It is not a "flip of a switch" or "push of a button" like many customers think. This charge covers that it takes time and money for a technician to hook up a customer's phone. The same thing goes for cable TV or satelite.

$40? The horror. The reason I switched from Bellsouth was because they were going to charge us $200 to hook up our phone.* They were already charging us over $50 for their shoddy service and I wasn't about to give them more money. So we just asked for VoIP service that our cable company offered and they cheerfully came out and switched out our modem for free. (We were already using their Internet service.) And we couldn't be happier with the clear-as-a-bell voice calls we can now make.

I also love how BellSouth is now sending out "sales reps" door-to-door to sell people on their new phone, DSL, and DirectTV package for $225. During one run-in with these wastes of skin, I said, "But my cable company gives me phone, cable Internet (which is faster and more reliable), and digital cable with a bunch of premium channels and DVR for only $175. Why would I want to switch?" They couldn't come up with an answer for that.

_____________________

*The previous people that lived here hooked up the phone themselves and were complete retards about it. A lightning strike took out the box they had it hooked up to.

[SmileyBouncer]

try a FIVE dollar delivery fee!

I know this all too well- but my company's delivery is only FIVE dollars!

We offer a period (several days) where the client can review the fine print for what they bought (insurance policy) and if they dont like it they get a total refund. Because of this time period, we offer to send their policy by e-mail *it saves them 5 dollars on the printing + shipping and handling too, and they can review it right away*. As SOON as SC who doesnt have an e-mail address hears about the five dollars- the you-know-what hits the fan!

They threaten to go to ABC Insurance They scream about DISCRIMINATION against the elderly because they dont have e-mail-and why are they being PENALIZED 5 dollars! Then they actually go to ABC where the mailing fee is still there but it's hidden plus $150 more for the heck of it! why oh why!

And then I think, really- if five dollars is enough to make you fling your poo like a monkey, why do you think you are suddenly the most VALUABLE customer to my company? Sounds like you're tapped out as it is!

[Kara]

I'm imagining this comes up in cellphones, cable, and other services.

"You're going to lose my business over this late fee you don't want to waive? Maybe I should go to [competing carrier]."

Don't you ever just want to shoot back with "Feel free, sir, just so you know, they require a two year contract, have higher rates than us, and a set up fee of two hundred dollars. Just thought I could save you some time by knowing that."

That's exactly how we do it.

I like to fire back with:

"So, you're willing to cancel and pay $X more for the same or less with someone else over (whatever the stupid issue is)?"