Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What you really don't want to hear at work

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 4
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
  • #1

    What you really don't want to hear at work

    This thread has been created by a colleague's comment to me today. However, I'm going to make this a little more interesting.

    Rules: no explanations, just a comment either made by someone at work on the day you post it, or something you think would be a comment you would really prefer not to hear at work. Just a note to say 'real' or 'imagined' so we know if it actually happened or not. Post as many separate comments in a thread, but if it's imagined then you'll win extra Internets (available at all good ISPs) for things that are creepy without being graphic/gross.

    Rapscallion
    Tags: None
  • #2
    "You know, I feel the need for a really big dump." (Real)

    Rapscallion

    Comment

    • #3
      Bet'd blow up real good! (real as well!)

      Comment

      • #4
        "You deleted my best porn sites out of my favorites. It took me 3 years to find them all" (real)

        "What are you going to do 6 months from now when we're shut down" (real, sadly)
        Last edited by draftermatt; 04-17-2008, 06:41 PM.

        Comment

        • #5
          Oh my god, a mouse just ran over my foot! (followed by OMGOMGOMG!! EWWWW!!!)
          In the middle of my front line. In front of customers. Real, sadly.

          We changed pest control companies.
          "You mean you don’t have the one piece of information you actually need? Well, stick your grubby paws in the crayon box, yank one out and colour me Fucking Shocked Fuchsia." - Gravekeeper

          Comment

          • #6
            Squealing, crash, "Uh oh. The forklift...."

            "You have a boyfriend?"

            "Yeah, I'd like to make a reservation... for 25. In half an hour."

            The sound of someone puking.

            The fire alarm.

            All real.
            "I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me."
            "Free at last from my vegetable prison!"
            X-Strike Studios: Video game movies done RIGHT!

            Comment

            • #7
              "gasp! Look out!

              CRASH

              Oh s. Where's the kitty litter?"

              This was heard on the day one of our less-talented forklift drivers dumped a flatbed full of household chemicals onto the floor in our truck unload area, right as we were preparing to unload a truck.

              About $250 of stuff was destroyed and had to be tossed, if memory serves.
              Last edited by Irving Patrick Freleigh; 04-17-2008, 09:16 PM. Reason: forgot something
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

              Comment

              • #8
                "The date on the kangaroo steaks is up in a month."

                "Abandon the mud. Just pretend it doesn't exist."

                "Dial 911. Keep then on the phone. We'll let you know what to tell them."

                All real.

                ^-.-^
                Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                Comment

                • #9
                  "Um... I really don't think it's supposed to move like that...."

                  imagined

                  ^-.-^
                  Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    "Touch it! Feel it!"
                    Real.

                    -Shouted by a hunchbacked, hideous hag of a woman I worked with once, attempting to get me to touch her hump on her back. And I mean this woman had everything under the sun- hunch back, snaggle teeth, personal hygiene of a camel, everything.

                    Granted, some things you can't do much about, but, damn, some things you can, too. She could've fixed her teeth. She could've at least brushed 'em. Could've quit smoking, and spent that on hygiene products. Better posture and exercise could've done wonders for the hunch, if not prevented it entirely- I asked, and she didn't have osteoporosis, and she showed me pictures of herself without the hunchback when she was younger, so it wasn't caused by the bones decaying and it wasn't lifelong...

                    yeah. Creepiest co-worker I've had in a long while.
                    "Joi's CEO is about as sneaky and subtle as a two year old on crack driving an air craft carrier down Broadway." - Broomjockey

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      The classic.

                      "Oops... I just deleted something." (real)
                      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        "I think I broke it" (real)

                        "Are you supposed to select "terminate program"?" (real)

                        "Uh oh..." (real)

                        "I need help" (real)
                        You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          He keep sneezing and coughing but I still kissed him. No tongue tho. (real)

                          So I told him they needed to stop drinking, since it took him a half hour to find hole two. (real)

                          I have the shrubbery!
                          But is it a nice shrubbery? (*sigh* real)

                          You know I got to love when they don't even know their own address. (very real heard many times)

                          I got the Victoria Secret mags for "Ivana Humpalot".
                          Oh? How many this time? (again...very real, every time the catalouge comes out even)

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            "They roped off the entire grocery side of the parking lot. Something about a car with radioactive stuff in it."

                            Real.
                            The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              *Loud crash*

                              Uhhhh Loss Prevention to the Women's Stockroom with the jump bag.

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
                              Working...