would you care for an apple pie....WITHOUT THE F***ING APPLES?

[cloudiko]

Too Lazy for a Calculator

Me: Hello, The Pit of Despair, how may I help you?
Lady: Can you do some math for me?
Me: *puzzled face* Um...okay.
Lady: How much is a double bacon cheeseburger and a shake?
Me: $xx.xx.
Lady: How about a hamburger and a shake?
Me: $xx.xx.
Lady: Um...okay.
*Click*



What, were you too lazy to look at our fancy To-Go menu? Were you price checking against McDonalds and Burger King??? What were you thinking? At the very least, you could at least bust out a calculator and attempt to use the brain cells that haven't been damaged by that moonshine you're attempting to make from lighter fluid and your own urine. I know that's asking a lot...but still.


Kids Eat Free Hell

Me: Hello, the Pit, how may I help you?
Lady: Do you have kids eat free?
Me: Yes, but not tonight.
Lady: What? What day is it then?
Me: It''s only Saturday and Sunday.
Lady: So, it's Saturday and Sunday?
Me:...Yes.
Lady: So, it's not tonight? *sounds hopeful*
Me: No....it's Thursday, which isn't even close to Saturday.
Lady: Okay.

She didn't ask the time, so I can bet that when Saturday rolls around she will be calling to ask again. Wow. If she knew there was kids eat free at my workplace, then she probably saw the GIANT sign on our front windows that explains what days and times in HUGE letters. Again, I think that's giving her a little too much credit.

And...my favorite call of all time

Disclaimer: The blatent stupidity in this one might make your head hurt a little more than usual.

Pie loving woman: PLW
Me: Answering the phone yet again

Me: Hello, the Pit, how may I help you?
PLW: I WANT AN APPLE PIE!!
Me: Um...okay.
PLW: Without *mumble mumble*
Me: Without....
PLW: WITHOUT APPLES!!!
Me: I'm sorry, without what?
PLW: NO APPLES!!!
Me: Wait...you want an apple pie without apples?
PLW: Yes, an apple pie without f***ing APPLES!!!
Me: ...........*dumbfounded silence*
PLW: Do you have an apple pie without apples?
Me: No...we don't have those.
PLW: Could you make one?
Me: Um...what would that be?
PLW: Can you make me one?
Me: Um, no. Probably not.
PLW: *hangs up on me*


I think I stared at the phone for a moment or two longer than I should have after she hung up on me. For a moment or two, I couldn't quite believe that someone wanted an apple pie WITHOUT apples in it. WTF. My coworkers thought it was a prank, but it sounded like a middle aged person on the phone....

This is why I love answering the phone at work.

[Boochan]

Too Lazy for a Calculator
And...my favorite call of all time.

This.. is a bit strange.
Why can't she go to a store and buy a damn pie crust then?
Makes no sense..

[thehippie777]

See, I would have tried to politely say, "An apple pie without apples is no longer an apple pie, it's something else, and no we don't have anything else." I am also guessing said apple pies come the way they are when you give them out, just not warm...so the fact this person believed they can be made there makes me laugh louder then hell about how friggn dumb they truly must be.

[Ree]

Perhaps the person calling for the price check wasn't sure about the taxes on the order and wanted you to figure it out for her so she would have enough money when she came in.

The lady with the pie...while it was a stupid request, she probably just wanted a pie in any other flavour, but was more familiar with your apple pie and was using that as a reference. She was obviously not thinking about the fact that, if she wanted a different pie, all she had to ask was, "What flavours of pie do you have?"
Or, maybe she just likes the crust, and that was all she wanted. Are your pies deepfried like some places? Maybe she just wanted deepfried crust.
Some people don't realize that a lot of places have their pies all come in as ready-made.

[marty]

I don't know, Ree, when my brother worked at McDonald's someone came in and ordered a hamburger without the meat. He called me immediately after because he needed me to bring him some aspirin. Just seems to me maybe it'd be easier to say, "Hey, do you guys sell the pie crust by itself?" or, you know, just go out and buy the stupid hamburger buns.

That and she yelled about it and threw in curse words.

[Ree]

I didn't say she was right. I was just offering an explanation for what she was requesting.
She was rude, and it was a stupid request.

[donruss]

I had someone order a large pizza yesterday without the pepperoni. I politely told them that is commonly known as just a cheese or plain pizza.

As to the apples, when she said "No f**king apples!" You should have replied.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that apples reproduced like that."

[Andara Bledin]

I don't know, Ree, when my brother worked at McDonald's someone came in and ordered a hamburger without the meat.

I used to have a friend that would do that all the time. She liked burger trimmings and buns, and she'd use her fries in place of the meat because she just didn't like meat. I had a co-worker who would get the meat on the side and then feed it to his dog.

^-.-^

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Apple Pie Without Apples

Ritz Mock Apple Pie

The classic pie, featuring Ritz crackers baked in a golden crust,
is perfect for the holidays.

Pastry for two-crust 9-inch pie
36 RITZ Crackers, coarsely broken (about 1 3/4 cups crumbs)
1 3/4 cups water
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Grated peel of one lemon
2 tablespoons margarine or butter
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon


1. Roll out half the pastry and line a 9-inch pie plate. Place
cracker crumbs in prepared crust; set aside.

2. Heat water, sugar and cream of tartar to a boil in saucepan
over high heat; simmer for 15 minutes. Add lemon juice and peel;
cool.

3. Pour syrup over cracker crumbs. Dot with margarine or butter;
sprinkle with cinnamon. Roll out remaining pastry; place over pie.
Trim, seal and flute edges. Slit top crust to allow steam to escape.

4. Bake at 425 F for 30 to 35 minutes or until crust is crisp
and golden. Cool completely.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That could have been what the caller actually wanted, but didn't know the name of it.

She just went about it completely bass-ackwards though.

[Sliceanddice]

maybe she want a cinnamon goo pie

[loveisuneven]

maybe i'm just weird, but i like the flavor of apple pie, but i don't like the chunks of apple, so i always scrape out the inside basically and eat the crust with the gooey filling part
maybe that's what she meant?
:S

[karma_gypsy]

A long time ago, my co-worker and I played a prank on another co-worker ...

At the end of her shift, she snuck back into the office and made a phone call to one of the phones up front. And then tried to order a Pepperoni Feast (traditionally 1-1/2 times the pepperoni) without the pepperoni. Well, pranked co-worker told her that the pizza would just be plain cheese. In which my co-worker from the office decided to start arguing with her and repeated the order over again ("No! That's not what I wanted, I want a Pepperoni Feast with no pepperoni"). Pranked co-worker didn't even recognize the voice either and even got the "deer-caught-in-headlights" look on her face when co-worker in the office starting getting "mad/upset."

She eventually came out of the office just laughing. In which pranked co-worker just looked relieved ... like she was afraid she was in for an earful ...

[Andara Bledin]

maybe i'm just weird, but i like the flavor of apple pie, but i don't like the chunks of apple, so i always scrape out the inside basically and eat the crust with the gooey filling part

You are not weird. Apple pies should not have chunks of apple in them. They should have thinly sliced apples that melt in your mouth as you eat the pie.

My brother and I won numerous blue ribbons at the fair every year for our apple pies and always got comments about how good they tasted. However, the grand prize winner was always someone who had made a stupid lattice crust when everyone knows that a lattice crust is super easy when compared with a full top crust. meh

^-.-^

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

I just wanted to point out that mock apple pie is disgusting, and only people who want a FU***NG APPLE PIE WITH NO APPLES would want one.