I'm sorry, who to the what now?

[Becks]

That's what I said to the last guy who asked me if I had found Jesus or something... for some reason he didn't talk to me for the rest of the bus ride

I like saying that I found him hiding behind my couch.

The only trick is to get everyone to take the same day off.

I'm not giving up working Sundays. Time and a half. :happy dance:

[Broomjockey]

Ok, as long as we're doing Jesus saves jokes, here we go:

*EDIT - Actually, I wasn't aware we were doing "Jesus Saves" jokes.

[Gurndigarn]

That would be the challenge. For my own church, like most Christian denominations I'm aware of, Sunday would be the day to pick, but for a Jew or Seventh-Day Adventist, it would be Saturday. I'm not qualified to speak for any other faith.

Oh, I'm aware of that. I don't care which day of the week, because I'm not doing this for religious reasons, precisely*. I'ld just pick whichever day of the week the prevailing religion in the area uses. Mostly, I want to have one day a week where I know nothing bad can happen, where I won't get any emergency calls-- one day a week where I didn't have to worry about anything.


* I do believe in God. But I'm not saying what I'm saying just "because he said so", but because, after working many years in various service sector/retail jobs, I think I'm beginning to see why he said so. I want a regular day off! A bit of R&R is good for body and soul!

[CrankyPants]

No...I think he was actually trying to recruit you for his church/denomination/whatever. As you yourself said, this was the Church was just released rush.

Some old folks did that to me one day. I had just gotten off the bus at our local mall and some really old guy (who looked like he was dead but nobody bothered to tell him), asked me for my help pushing his trolley into the centre.

I was annoyed because I was in a hurry, but obliged politely and by the time we reached the doors, he had given me the whole spiel about his church. I told him I wasn't interested and that it was wrong of him to try the underhanded recruitment thing. He looked surprised, and then I walked off.

[Mighty Girl]

Oh, he was just being a judgemental sarcastic ass. It would take all my restraint to not say, "You are correct sir, I guess we'll be seeing each other in hell, you bring the snow cones"

[Jester]

Ok, as long as we're doing Jesus saves jokes, here we go:

*EDIT- Again...not aware we were doing those types of jokes.

[Broomjockey]

Jesus, Moses, and an old guy are playing golf.

It's been ages since I've heard that one. My favourite god related joke goes as follows:

A city gets a flash flood, the streets are flooded. A man is trapped in his house. Rescue workers bring a raft up to his first floor window, and tell the man to get in. "No," says the man, "I have faith that God will save me." And the raft leaves.

The water level rises, and the man is forced to the second floor of his house. Another raft comes, and again the man sends it away, saying, "I have faith that God will save me."

The water continues to rise, and the man is now stranded on his roof. A helicopter comes, and they say they are the last rescue unit in the area, the man needs to come with them now, because the water is still rising! Again, the man says, "No, I will stay. I have faith God will save me."

The water rises over the man's head and he drowns. He gets into heaven, and requests a meeting with God. God grants it, and asks "What is your question, my son?"

"God, I was a good man in life, I did all you required and more without complaint. Why, in my hour of need did you abandon me?"

God replied, "What are you talking about? I sent two rafts and a helicopter to get you!"

[Seanette]

On the religious-based joke theme (I figure God HAS to have a sense of humor to put up with us mortals):

The woman caught in adultery was taken to Jesus. He looked at the crowd and said, "Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone". After a pause, a rock came flying out of the crowd.

Jesus rolled His eyes and said, "Cut it out, Mom!"

[draftermatt]

I saw a quote on Law & Order SVU the other night that would have worked.

"I hope you burn in Hell"
"I'm Jewish ma'am, there is no Hell"

Or I would get my creepy voice out and say "I am Beezelbub, I have come for you" and then shreak.

But that would get you fired.

[Imogene]

I saw a quote on Law & Order SVU the other night that would have worked.

"I hope you burn in Hell"
"I'm Jewish ma'am, there is no Hell"

Or I would get my creepy voice out and say "I am Beezelbub, I have come for you" and then shreak.

But that would get you fired.

To the customers:
"I'm Luminite, my hell is day to day existence. The fact that I am talking to you right now means I am in Hell."
...
...
Now then, in the interest of not getting the thread closed, or shunted to Off Topic, can we get back on topic about customers who're too paranoid for their own good?

[Glenn12345]

First of all I am a christian, Let me get that out in the open. Secondly I used to have to deal with people like that all the time when i worked for a travel agency (membership based). People would call on sunday and say...why are you working on a sunday? Dont you know its the lords day? To which I would reply "Yes, I know that it is and if people would actually obey the Bible and not do work (or cause others to have to work IMHO) then I could be in Church right now enjoying the sermon and spending time with my friends". That usually shut them up pretty quickly.

[Gurndigarn]

I saw a quote on Law & Order SVU the other night that would have worked.

"I hope you burn in Hell"

"I work for [soulless retail chain]. I have no fear of Hell."

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"I work for [soulless retail chain]. I have no fear of Hell."

Probably b/c you work IN Hell, right? Frankly, I've become convinced that the Kitty is a section of Hell. Just what I did to get sent there, I still haven't figured out.

All kidding aside, the SC in the OP was being hypocritical. Plain and simple.

Of course, he'll have to answer for his behavior one day . . . it's much better with someone of that "caliber" to take the high road. It makes one a much better person than that asshat.

You can still wish him to taketh his bible and shoveth it up his posterior. Just don't say it out loud.

I do like how this has remained civil, BTW.

[Dragon_Dreamer]

Actually, I've noticed that some stores, usually in religious areas, actually DO close on Sunday. Most of them have a notice on the door, saying that it's to give their employees a "chance to be with their families on the Sabbath." A couple were craft stores, one had home furnishings and knick-knacks.

I've mostly seen this during my visits to Connecticutt, but also in parts of Pennsylvania and Iowa, as well.

[MadMike]

Actually, I've noticed that some stores, usually in religious areas, actually DO close on Sunday.

One of the local malls used to have a store that sold wooden furniture that was hand-built by Amish. The store was also run by Amish, and was closed on Sundays.

The furniture was very nice, none of that particleboard or cardboard crap. Wouldn't have minded having some of it, but it was a bit pricey.