Stupid Warning Labels

[Boulder_Bear]

My foldable baby-stroller says:
Warning: remove baby before folding.

On the old board there was a thread all about this topic. One of the funniest ones I saw was for a chainsaw.
Warning: Do not use on one's genitals.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I remember that! XD Probably the only people who'd do that are best removed from the gene pool in any case.

Dunno if any of these are true... however, do not underestimate the power of human stupidity!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/labels.shtml

1. On Sears hairdryer:

"Do not use while sleeping."

(But..., that's the only time I have to work on my hair)



2. On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how. . . ?)



3. On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestions: Defrost."

(But it's "just" a suggestion)



4. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):

"Do not turn upside down."

(Oops, too late!)



5. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."

(Hmm . . . .)



6. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save even more time?)



7. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this

medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents

if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those

forklifts.)



8. On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(One would hope)



9. On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to underwater?)



10. On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use."

(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)



11. On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: Contains nuts."

(NEWS FLASH)



12. On a child's Superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)



13. On a Swedish chain saw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? . . . Good grief!)



14. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:

"Do not use on food."

(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's OK, honey, just grab the Palmolive!

[protege]

Then there are warning labels that get mistranslated. Check out this gem from a metal computer case I bought some time ago:

"Caution: Prevent not to be hurt by the sharp I/O shield, please MUST wear glove before you want to install the shield into your chassis."

[Ryu]

about number 12
Jerry Seinfeild did a skit about this
Heres a quote although not exact
"I love the idea of the kid who's stupid enough to think hes superman and can fly but smart enough to check the warning label. Woohoo Im superman, oh wait is there anything on the box? oh darn it says i cant fly..."

[AirHostess]

"warning this plane may crash"

[Tria]

My foldable baby-stroller says:
Warning: remove baby before folding.

On the old board there was a thread all about this topic. One of the funniest ones I saw was for a chainsaw.
Warning: Do not use on one's genitals.

On one hand I want to say that was shaving gone bad.... On the other hand, anyone dumb enough to do that needs to be unable to reproduce.

[Lace Neil Singer]

On a blowtorch:

"Do not use to dry hair."

[HawaiianShirts]

On the LCD TV, I didn't hear exactly how it happened, but I saw a TV come through with a couple of darts stuck in it. I think it was going out for service. I can only hope that the customer wasn't getting a free replacement or free repair or even money back as credit on a returned "defective" product.

The dryer... well, that was more on the personal level. Friend's sister (about 14) put the wet dog in the dryer, set it on one of the low heat settings, and started it. My friend leapt over and opened the door within seconds. The dog was fine, if a little shaken. Friend's sister thought it would be fine to leave the dog in for a minute or two until we reminded her that dryers SPIN.

[chainedbarista]

well, while it's not on a label, because of a pair of geniuses that i grew up with, it might as well be:

on chlorine bleach:

warning: do not use to bleach hair

yes, they actually did that...and lost some hair as a result.

[Ryu]

so what do you use to bleach hair then? i would assume it was bleach...

[MadMike]

well, while it's not on a label, because of a pair of geniuses that i grew up with, it might as well be:

on chlorine bleach:

warning: do not use to bleach hair

yes, they actually did that...and lost some hair as a result.

My ex did something like that once. She was a blonde to start with, but she went thru this phase where she was experimenting with different colors of hair dye.

One night, she dyed it black. She didn't like it, so she tried to undo it with bleach, in our tiny bathroom, with the door shut.

Apparently the hair dye had traces of ammonia in it, which when combined with bleach, produces a toxic gas. I didn't even know what she was doing in the bathroom, but heard a loud thump as her 200+ lb body hit the floor. I ran over to the bathroom, opened the door, and say her lying on the floor, and choking silently, unable to breathe. As soon as I got the door open, my eyes and chest started to burn.

She later told me she tried to call me for help, but couldn't even get any sound out. Luckily, once I got the door open, she was fine.

[Ringtail Z28]

On a blowtorch:

"Do not use to dry hair."

I've seen this same warning on heat guns and soldering irons. You'd think that anything hot enough to melt metal would be kept away from things like hair. But these are customers after all, silly me.

I've bought some lead balls once with the warning "Do Not Keep in Mouth."

[Kogarashi]

so what do you use to bleach hair then? i would assume it was bleach...

I believe you actually use peroxide, but I'm not entirely sure. I've only done blonde once, and that was with a wig.

I've seen this same warning on heat guns and soldering irons. You'd think that anything hot enough to melt metal would be kept away from things like hair. But these are customers after all, silly me.

Considering I've seen hair melt from being hit with a flaming marshmallow before, you'd think it'd be common sense.

But then, common sense and SCs don't mix.

[blaubent]

On Dryers
Warning: DO NOT put pets in dryer.

I swear on my grandmother's grave, I came home to this! In fact, she growled at me when I tried to move her!

[nekoro]

Whoa, blaubent, that cat looks exactly like mine! She's gotten into the dryer, too!