Dumb questions customers ask...

[Retail Associate]

I thought it would be 'fun' to list some of the dumb questions SC's ask. I've been in retail for over 6 years so there have been hundreds of dumb questions asked of me. But tonight I got one I thought I'd share.

I live in Michigan...it's about 23º and snowing. In other words, it's c-c-c-c-cold! Anyway, I work in the clothing dept and tonight an SC asked...

SC: "I'm looking for swimming suits and no one has any. Do you have swimming suits."

Me: "No, we have no swimming suits, either."

SC: "What are people supposed to do when they're going on vacation?"

Me:



What dumb questions have you gotten lately?

[saint]

At 7pm, during a decent rush:

"Are you closed?"


...Yes

[powerboy]

When I was working at Walmart. I was completely sick, red eyes, runny nose, head-aches, the whole works. Well, it was because I was outside getting the carts all day and night.

SC - Stupid Customer
ME - Myself

SC = Does walmart drug test before they hire?
ME = Yes
SC = Because, you are high
Me = No I am sick from being outside the whole 9 hrs getting carts.
SC = Don't lie to me, you are High
ME =

[Lace Neil Singer]

If you were high, you'd be a lot happier surely?

The most stupid question I've ever been asked:

Stupid Customer: What's non fat yoghurt?
Me: () Uh... yoghurt with no fat in it.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Me = No I am sick from being outside the whole 9 hrs getting carts.
SC = Don't lie to me, you are High
ME =

"Fine, then why don't you go call the police and make them take to my manager to administer a piss test. Then I'll pass it and sue your ass for harassment and libel while the police bring you up on charges of filing a false report."

--or--

"Here, let e breathe on you for a minute. If I'm just high you'll be safe. If I'm sick you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that Walmart doesn't hire stoners and I get the satisfaction of knowing that you'll be sucking sudafed for the next three weeks."

But then again I'm an evil bastard.

M

[Becks]

"Where do you keep the Halloween costumes?"


Uh...not here, this is a grocery store...

[ReadyToRetire]

Just the other day:

SC: What's on your menu? <not the dumb part>
Me: blah, blah blah and grilled shrimp.
SC: How is the grilled shrimp prepared?
Me: Uhhh, grilled.

[orcprincess]

Yesterday:

SC: Where's my order?
Me: Just a moment please? (goes through particulars)
Me: Ma'am you just placed your order 2 hours ago.
SC: I know!! I ordered Super Fast delivery!! I'm supposed to have it today!
Me: Um, Super Fast is 2-3 days

[Dips]

I have three classics I've posted before:

From the customer of a friend who works at a place that drafts plot plans:

"Does the north arrow point north?"

From a tourist visiting a Revolutionary War re-enactor's encampment:

"Is that a real fire?"

And the one I get at least once a week, although it is asked in many different ways, it boils down to this:

"I need to activate. Will clicking the button labelled Activate do that?"

My absolute favorite variation of this question was a guy who captured a screen image of the place he got stuck and attached it to an email where he asked me what to do next to get activated. At the bottom of the image he sent was the large button labelled "Activate."

[kerrisan]

At 10 PM, the store I worked at would close the side doors and just keep the middle door open. One night, a gentleman came in and stood in the doorway to talk to me:

Man: Excuse me, are you open?
Me: Yes sir, we are 24 hours.
Man: Your side doors are closed.
Me: Yes sir . . .?


Wait for it . . .


Man: So how am I supposed to get into the store?

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

I don't know if this really qualifies as a Stupid Customer question, but it always bugged me when people would ask for a Nintendo 'tape'.
"Do you have the Nintendo Metroid tape?"
"No, we don't, but we do have the cartridge."
Them:
Me:

[Getoutofmylobby]

SC: Can you give me directions to the St. Louis Arch?
Me: No problem, get on the highway you see out front and head east to downtown, you can't miss it.
SC: (said with some wierd atitude) So... will I be able to see the arch when I get down there?
Me: ...sure. It's a big arch...

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

Getoutofmylobby, you just blew one of my mental fuses.
Ow.

[MadMike]

I don't know if this really qualifies as a Stupid Customer question, but it always bugged me when people would ask for a Nintendo 'tape'.

I thought I was the only one with that particular pet peeve. I remember having an Atari 2600 (showing my age here), and some people referring to the game cartridges as "tapes." Yes, they were about the size of an 8-track tape (there I go again), but there wasn't actually any "tape" of any sort inside it.

[MadMike]

"Where do you keep the Halloween costumes?"


Uh...not here, this is a grocery store...

Actually, the grocery store in my area sells a few seasonal items, including Halloween costumes. Not a very big selection of them, but they still sell them.