Dumb questions customers ask...

[South Texan]

On another occasion a man approached me and said, "My wife is a rather large woman. What size do you think she wears?"

Me: "I have no idea."

SC: (Looks around for a bit and spots a large woman heading toward us.) "She's about the size of that woman right there."

Me: "I'm sorry sir, I don't know what size that woman is either."

SC: To the large woman..."What size do you wear?"

Large Woman:

Me:

Now that I have gotten up off the floor due to my hysterical laughing sending me into the fetal position, I must confess that I also was a clueless male and did that exact thing many years ago before I was informed that women for some reason take offense at such questions.

[kerrisan]

I must confess that I also was a clueless male and did that exact thing many years ago before I was informed that women for some reason take offense at such questions.

This is one of those cases where gift cards are a great idea. I, for one, would much rather receive a giftcard to JCPenny's than a piece of clothing from said department store that is too large.

My man won't buy me any type of clothing unless I am there to pick it out -size, style, color, everything. He's too nervous about sleeping on the couch.

[Durandal]

my stores famous electronics questions.

This says it works on windows XP. Will it work on my XP computer?

I bought the wrong printer cartridges four months ago, can i return them?

Can I but Office:Student and Teacher Edition even though i am neither, and use it for my buisness? (actually heard that a Best Buy in the area was doing this for customers and got into a lot of trouble when Microsoft caught them.) Me: NO

Can i burn a DVD in my CD burner?

This camera is smaller why is it more expensive?
Because it is smaller and has more features.
I don't understand its smaller so it should cost less.
No Mam it is harder to make a camera smaller. So it cost more than a larger camera.
Young man i don't think you know what your talking about. (arghhhh)

Were can i find the wireless cables?

In the copy center
Can you color copier make fake money?
(Actually yes it could. hoever new high end xerox copiers, like you find at kinkoes and such, have a special feature that detects this being done. Our Xerox service guy showed us what happens if you try. It shuts the machine down. You have to call xerox and get a tech to come turn the machine back on.) Me: NO

[Mark Healey]

A few of my <irony>favorites</irony> are:

SC holding book aloft and shouting across the store: How much is this?

This is in a used book store. We have about 40,000 books, all of then individually priced.

SC holding a paperback: Do you have a hard copy of this?

I don't know how to respond to this. Sometimes you hear things so stupid that your brain just stops.

SC: Where are your autobiographies?

The only response I can come up with to this is "we put them in with all the other biographies"

SC after being toold that they are sorted by authors name: Is that first or last name?

I always ask them where they have ever seen it done by anyones first name.

[Dips]

And no one invited the tourist to stick his/her hand in and find out? I admire the restraint exhibited here. :-)

Well of course they did.

The other answer was more fun:

No, sir. It's actually a holgraphic representation of a fire. Our unit's drummer is a crack programmer and spent weeks making it look, sound and smell realistic. Of course, it uses a LOT of power. Enough that the event sponsor is making us pay for our own electricity. It was a major undertaking to bury the power line and we had to hide the meter in the latrine. If you want to see it, stick your head in the hole and look to the left.

[Hicksey]

I thought I was the only one with that particular pet peeve. I remember having an Atari 2600 (showing my age here), and some people referring to the game cartridges as "tapes." Yes, they were about the size of an 8-track tape (there I go again), but there wasn't actually any "tape" of any sort inside it.

My worst pet peeve is about the Internet. People use the word wrong so much and it really annoys me.

Here are some really annoying things they say.
"My Internet" - You do not own an Internet
"I have the Internet at my house." - You do not have the Internet nor is it at your house. You have access to the internet through your computer.

[Primer]

SC: "Do I have to use primer?"
Me: "Yes."
SC: "But my paint is white."
Me: "You still need primer for the paint to stick to the wall."
SC: "But I don't want to!"
Me: "You need primer."

It's sooo nice to be needed!

[hotelslave]

Stupid questions from hotel guest

1) Are we allowed to eat in our room?
2) Do you accept pets? This is asked as they stand right in front of a No Pet sign.
3) Can I put my Marriott rewards number on? That may not sound like a stupid question but I work at a Hilton brand hotel and have about 5 different things in the immediate area that say as much.

[Pagan]

She told me that her friend was thinking about getting the Internet and she asked me how she could download the whole Internet onto a floppy disk so she could take it over to her friend's house with her.

Damn, just how big is this disk and (assuming it's a CD) where can I get one?!

As I mentioned in my original post, I work in the Fashions dept. I had one guy come up to me and say...

"My girlfriend is this tall." (Holds his hand about shoulder height.) "What size would she wear?"

When I was working at the Victoria's Secret Call Center, I had a guy call up and wanted to ordera a bra for his wife/girlfriend/can't-remember-what. So I asked him what size. Here's his answer, verbatim, "Oh, she's about a handful."

SC after being toold that they are sorted by authors name: Is that first or last name?

I always ask them where they have ever seen it done by anyones first name.

I feel your pain. I can't believe how many people don't know that when you're alpha'ing by name, it's the person's last name. Don't know how many times I've found people looking for Gwen Stefani in the G's, Barbara Streisand in the B's, Loreena McKennitt in the L's, etc.

Along the same lines as the pet peeve of calling video game cartridges "tapes." Mine was people, including the director of the call center saying "Victoria Secrets." Nope, sorry, it's "Victoria's Secret." It's possesive, not plural.

[MadMike]

Damn, just how big is this disk and (assuming it's a CD) where can I get one?!

It's not the size of the disk, it's how you use it.

[Getoutofmylobby]

Can I put my Marriott rewards number on? That may not sound like a stupid question but I work at a Hilton brand hotel and have about 5 different things in the immediate area that say as much.

I get this all the time which doesn't bother me and every once in awhile i get the entitled guest who feels Marriott rewards are the same as Hilton HHonors and gets mad when i don't share his view.

[hotelslave]

Getoutofmylobby

So i take it your another Hilton Drone Get?

[shenzee]

I came out of our office-type building which is labeled as belonging to the train company, wearing my traindriver uniform, accompanied by a colleague wearing a traindriver uniform.

Lady on the pavement : Is this a bus garage?

Me: No, it's a depot for train drivers.

LOTP: For bus drivers?

Me: No, it's for train drivers?

LOTP: Training bus drivers?

Me: Uh....no.....TRAIN drivers. You know...trains? *points to train station next door*

LOTP: Trains?

Me: Yes, trains.

LOTP: huh?

I'm still not convinced she got the whole train-drivers-depot-next-to-the-train-station thing but what really gets me is that it was clearly not any kind of repository for buses! It was an office building lol.

You should have given the universal choo choo noise with the up and down arm pumping. She would have gotten it then! Hey it works on the amazing race....

[Getoutofmylobby]

Yeah Slave, Hampton. You?

[Pagan]

It's not the size of the disk, it's how you use it.

Is that anyting like, "It's not the size of your wave, but the motion in your ocean?"